To tell GF to shut up?

[justsomebloke]

GF was talking to me about a subject she knew I didn't want to hear about. I politely asked her to stop talking several times. She heard but ignored me, so I told her to shut up. She says that me telling her to shut up shows a lack of respect towards her+ hurt her. I told her that I didn't mean to hurt her but that if she was going to ignore me when I asked her politely*, I would ask her impolitely. AIBU? (she thinks I am...)

• She normally listens when I ask her politely.

[BelladonnaValentina]

Handmade I'm actually itching to get over to that section. there are some ridiculous questions that I want to ask about word use that most people just roll thier eyes at me for even caring about!

[HandMadeTail]

Uninterested, not disinterested.

Sorry, I'll bugger off now to pedants corner.

[BelladonnaValentina]

I'm not outraged. Can just see more than his POV here, that's all. although I do love the term "Professionally outraged" I may need to get outraged enough about something so that I can say that I'm professionally outraged.

[garlicbutter]

I knew a couple who were each allowed 15mins to yammer on about work in the evening. Struck me as a sensible rule.

[ohdearwhatdoidonow]

He's allowed to be disinterested!!!!!

I love the professionally outraged on here

YANBU

[Nyac]

Shut up justsomebloke.

Not very nice is it.

[BelladonnaValentina]

Alright then justabloke you say that you're not saying what I think you are but it's how it reads. At least to me.

Good luck and all that. (Genuinely and not meant to be sarky incase that's how THAT reads ugh)

[Lueji]

You have my sympathy.

I have an ex who would go on and on and on about issues that pissed him off regardless of what I said in response to it.
He would just go on in circles and he would not stop even if asked politely.

[justsomebloke]

bella, it's not about whether you think it's rude or not for her to carry on talking, it's your assumption that I have no interest in her life. If that were true, I'd be dating someone else...

To quote myself, "Being told about [workplace bitching] pisses me off". Not "I have no interest in the things that matter my GF"

Anyway, I think I'm done here. Thanks all :)

[BelladonnaValentina]

pictish true. But i have taken his posts as the thing to form my replys on and not what could or couldn't be happening. that said, he did only give us the info about what she was talking about in his latest post so he might be drip-feeding the info. At the moment I'm just going on what's been said.

[pictish]

It's tricky because we weren't there.

We don't know if this incident was rare, or if the gf has a habit of forcing him to play the enraptured audience.

[BelladonnaValentina]

rhinos - and anyone else who has trouble grasping this - I have repeatedly said from my first post after OP's latest reply that I thought she was rude in not shutting up. I am not contesting this.

[pictish]

Mmm...I think perhaps it's a little unfair to say he shows no interest in the things that matter to his gf, don't you?

Office gossip chat can really run on....

[BelladonnaValentina]

Agent guilty as charged!

[BelladonnaValentina]

pictish as I've already said, I do agree that she showed disrespect in this way. But it doesn't negate the issue of his apparent lack of interest in the things that matter to his GF.

[AgentZigzag]

So you get your DH back by reading out MN posts to him Bella?

I try not to, but I do the same

[BelladonnaValentina]

*Harry Potter

[BelladonnaValentina]

winetime I'm exacty the same. I was talking with DH about this thread and said taht it's kinda like him with harry Porrt. I hate it, can't stand it. REALLY tried to like it but gave up. Didn't stop me from buying DH the DVD's and books for Christmas because I know that he likes it. Having to listen to him waffle on about it is a consequence of that which I will tolerate because I know that it matters to him. Even if i want to poke my ear out with knitting needles.

[pictish]

I agree - "shut up" isn't good.
Neither is self indulgently forcing you partner to listen to drivel.

[winetime]

After many years of being married I can put on a face that looks like it is listening but really is not. DH is going on and on and on, and I can nod and smile in the right places but am really not interested or listening.

He does the same to me!

If you want to stay together think that is the best way forward - adopt the "I am really interested in what you're saying" face..

Works for us anyway! "Shut up" just causes a row!

[pictish]

Oh do leave him alone.... someone else's office's gossip is among the dullest subjects ever.
I have a pal like this, and she quite often starts a conversation with "Well, there's this woman at my works and she...." (insert gossip surrounding people from her work here).

I do not know the woman. I will never meet the woman. I do not care about the woman.

It's boring!

[MadameMessy]

I read your posts, I still think yabu. you did ask.

"she normally listens when I ask her politely" just smacks of her doing what she's told usually. really grated on me too.

[BelladonnaValentina]

I'm willing to assume that by telling her to stop talking and then to plain shut up that you were showing disinterest, yes.