I posted this earlier in Behaviour and Development but got no responses...
DS is 21 months and incredibly clingy. He has been this way since around 5 months old and I am feeling more and more despondent about it.
He is also incredibly fearful/anxious of other children.
I am finding day-to-day life a real grind with him as he is only ever happy if we are at home, playing together. Which is fine, to a certain extent, but as a SAHM I get incredibly lonely and (even though I hate admitting it) - bored.
The original plan was for me to go back to work p/t when DS was 9 MO. We had arranged a place in a local nursery for DS, but decided that this would not really suit him and that he might be better off with more focussed attention. So we started a nanny share, with the nanny looking after DS and one other girl, based at the other girl's house. It was a disaster. DS stopped eating and drinking, and spent all day crying. The nanny resigned after two months and I took vol redundancy from work.
As a result of the nanny's concerns (about his levels of separation anxiety) we have been seen by a range of specialists and none have flagged any major concerns - but he is obv still too young to be assessed for ASD etc.
I take him to a range of different groups/activities and can see that he is incredibly different to other children his age, who seem to play alongside each other confidently (if not always amicably!) We go to the same groups/classes each week so he is familiar with the settings/people. The other mums/carers can all sit and have a cuppa/chat, whereas if I attempt to do this DS will cry and cling to my leg or repeat 'mama, there' while pointing to an empty part of the room.
At home, he doesn't always need me to play with him, but if I leave the room he will stop what he is doing and whinge/cry until I come back. Either that, or he follows me and grips round my leg. The only time he is happy to be left on his own is when Balamory is on TV.
If we are out and about - playing football for example - he is happy enough until another child gets too close (and we're talking 20 metres away), and then he wants to be in my arms and away from them.
I love him to bits and try to be patient/understanding but I find his behaviour incredibly frustrating. I can go for a whole day without any adult interaction as he gets so upset when I try to have a conversation. I know quite a few mums in the local area but we very rarely now get invited to meet ups etc as we are such bad company.
Other than this he is a bright, happy boy.
Has anyone else experienced this? I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel! And if I start thinking ahead to pre-school/school I just can't see how he is going to cope
Any advice or happy stories of clingy toddlers blossoming into happy confident children gratefully received!
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AIBU?
to wonder if this 'phase' will ever end??
8 replies
IWillOnlyEatBeans · 30/11/2011 18:45
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