to not want to pay ex?

[emmam25]

I will try and keep this as short as I can whilst also getting the facts across.

About this time last year I was living with ex-p in an expensive rented house which we could only afford as we were both on equivalent salaries and could both pay half the rent.

We moved 2 years ago when his job moved across country. I had to leave everything, get a new job which I wasn't happy with and found it very difficult but was committed to the relationship, wanted to make it work etc.
However, over time I became depressed, started taking anti-depressants. I was probably a bit of a nightmare to live with.

Last year he decided he wanted to leave me. His job meant he could get accommodation for next to nothing through work so he moved out and left me with the house which I couldn't afford.

Although I was upset I quite quickly realised it was better for me. I started feeling less depressed, got off the anti-depressants and with A LOT of emotional and financial support from family, I decided to buy my own place that I could afford.

Buying took a long time and I spent nearly 6 months in the rented house on my own before I could move. It was a struggle for me to pay the rent but just about managed it with zero disposable income and selling a few possessions.
In that time I also met new partner and fell pregnant - bit quick I know!

Anyway, ex-p had paid the deposit on the rented house (which was substantial) and when I finally left the house the landlord made some deductions from the deposit. I did my best to leave the house in a reasonable standard but there was some damage that had been done at the point when we both lived there.

Ex-p now wants me to pay him half the amount the land lord deducted from the deposit which amounts to a few hundred pounds.

I can see his POV, we both lived there so share responsibility for the deposit but I am now in a VERY different situation. He made the choice to leave me which left me in a very difficult situation financially where as he was much better off by leaving.

To top it all off soon after finding out I was pregnant my new partner was made unemployed through no fault of his own so now my salary has to cover the whole household expenses with a baby on the way.

Ex-p is still single, paying virtually nothing for his living costs. So although I'm sure he would like the extra cash, he's not going to be struggling on the breadline without it.

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to pay him? Or should I just try to scrape the money together/ not buy as much for baby / be even more austere and get him off our backs so new partner and I can get on with our lives?

Thanks for sticking with me if you read all that and I won't take offense at honest opinions.

[slavetofilofax]

I was going to say don't pay him, but as you didn't have to continue to live in the flat when he left, YABU and you owe him the money.

You might begrudge it because he is single while you have landed yourself pregnant with someone who is unemployed, but that is completely irrelevant and not his fault.

You owe it, so you should pay it. The father of your baby should be worrying about feeding himself and his child, not your ex who has done nothing wrong.

[DesperatelySeekingPomBears]

slave she DID have to remain living in the property. It would have been that or pay whatever the financial penalty would have been for breaking the rental agreement and moving out three months before the lease was up.

[emmam25]

Samandi - I was a bit when he told me how much it was. I asked him for the price breakdown from landlord but at the time but I was suddenly hospitalised due to pregnancy complications and it just all got too much for me and I didn't pursue it. My own fault; I will talk to him about installments or see if we can borrow the money to pay him so he leaves us alone.

[KatieMiddIeton]

Am I reading a different thread? He agreed to take on a joint financial commitment which he abandoned without notice or financial compensation to the OP and he now expects her to compensate him for a deduction made by the landlord? A deduction for damage that occurred when he lived there?

She owes him nothing. He owes her 50% of the rent for the notice period he failed to honour.

[Bramshott]

Splitting the loss (which is essentially what he's asking you to do) might be fair if you had moved out together and agreed to go your separate ways, but as others have said, he left you to pay all the rent on a flat with 3 months still to run on a joint lease.

Don't get bogged down in who has the most money now - that's irrelevant and will only get you riled up - but work out what's fair - and his solution isn't!

[Collaborate]

I normally post on legal, but feel compelled to post here.

In law he was jointly and severally responsible with you for the rent until then end of at least the initial period (6 months?). As long as he left, and you never excluded him from the property by changing the locks (him giving you back his keys doesn't count) he will owe you for his half of the rent. Tell him you'll write off the balance that he owes you, as you're feeling generous.

[emmam25]

Thanks for the advice people, half 3 months rent is roughly £1000 more than he says I owe him so there could be some measure in pursuing that!

[bemybebe]

There you go. And by the sounds of it (thank you collaborate) you may have a very decent chance of a positive judgement!

[DoesNotGiveAFig]

You don't owe him, he owes you for fucking off and leaving you to honour the contract you were both responsible for. If you lost out by £1000, and he claims you owe him £600, put a claim into him for £400.

Don't worry, congratulations and good luck with the little one.

[fuzzynavel]

YANBU

I wouldn't pay him a bean. He left you to pay for a property that you both rented at the same time.

[cwtch4967]

You would be a mug to pay it seeing as you covered his rent for three months. Tell him to take it off what he owes you.

[BumWiper]

First of all if both names were on the lease then he is liable for half of the rent,even after he moved out.A lease is a contract.
After that any money you get back from the deposit,half should be deducted from the rent he owes.

From DH.

[SolidGoldVampireBat]

Also, have you only got his word for it that you owe him that much? Don't pay him a penny without seeing evidence that the landlord witheld the deposit - and how come the deposit was sent to XP rather than you when he fucked off?

[snuffaluffagus]

What sort of damage costs £600? You need that information. Unless it was a long time ago the deposit will have had to have been in the national deposit scheme and there is a process to appeal unfair cases of landlords withholding deposits etc.. it just sounds such a lot!

[lassylass]

Work out the extra cost to yourself for having to cover his rent for the 3 months when he left (dont think you can really justify the additional 3 months where you chose to stay on).

Invoice him for it, and watch him STFU.

[KittyFane]

Everything katemiddleton said.

[zookeeper]

YANBU - you covered his share of the rent for three months - deduct that from what he says he owes you

[zookeeper]

err from what he says you owe him!

[HappyCamel]

Offer to pay him if he'll pay you 50% rent x 3 months notice (or whatever the notice period was)

[HeresTheThingBooyhoo]

i think it he is entitled to it. but i also think he owes you for the months that were remaining on the tenancy in teh joint name. he should have found someone else to take over his share or he should have paid it. so he owes you that.

[FabbyChic]

I wouldnt pay him back, because technically he was liable for half the rent whilst you served out the tenancy. I assume it was in both names? He can't just move out leave you in the shit and then expect you to pay all the rent whilst his name was on the tenancy.

I'd not pay him a penny to be honest.

[ihatecbeebies]

If you were both on the tenancy then you were both eligible to pay the rent for as long as the tenancy lasted. So if you stayed there for another 3 months and paid the rent yourself whilst the tenancy was still in both of your names then I should think that he would owe you half of the rent for those 3 months? (I had this explained to me by an estate agent when I was left with an expensive rented property in two names) Could you explain this to him and offer to put his half of the deposit towards what he owes you?

[ihatecbeebies]

Oops, just realised Ive xposted with a few other posters, I only read the first page before posting

[PigletJohn]

I like the idea of him being liable for half the rent up to the end of his notice period. He did give notice, didn't he?

[KittyFane]

Piglet, I was thinking the same thing, it was a joint contract was it OP? Then yes, (even with notice) he is liable for half the rent during notice period.
I'd let him get laughed out of go to the small claims court if I were you.
Don't be intimidated OP.