I attend a local playgroup, where I'm the only regular dad that goes (other dad's have come and gone within a month). I've been going every week for 2 and a half years since my daughter was 6 months old, in that time only a few of the mothers and carers attempt to chat with me, is it because I'm a dad? (When I tell people that I'm the only dad at our playgroup they seem to think the other mothers would flock round me) I've seen other newcomers (female may I add!) Being welcomed with open arms but my main gripe is that in the past 2 and a half years my daughter has had 3 birthday's (work it out, we started going when she was 6 months and now she's 3) and not once has her birthday been celebrated. This year I tried to remind the women who run the playgroup by telling them 2 weeks before the summer holidays that it was her birthday at the end of August and that we were going away for the whole 6 weeks so if she could have happy birthday sung to her the following week and they both said 'it's ok we've sorted it' the following week came and went, the 6 weeks holiday came and went now 6 weeks later still no sign of that little cake with the candle for my daughter, oh but there have been for other children. To say I'm angry is putting it politely. I only attend because my daughter loves it there. I need some advice what do think I should do?
AIBU?
but I'd like to attend a playgroup where the other mum's actually see me as an equal
StayatHomeDad78 · 19/10/2011 15:14
I went to a local playgroup with DD1 for 2 years, no-one spoke to me once. It was just a nasty playgroup. With DD2 I moved to another playgroup and they were lovely. I should imagine it's more about the people at the playgroup than your gender.
exoticfruits - I was that mother at DD2's nursery last year. 
You need to offer to help, offer to get involved, there must be some form of 'committee' or organiser- just speak up. I don't think its anything to do with you being a Dad - more that you just don't seem to bother to get involved and help. You have said that it is run by volunteers - so why don't you volunteer to do something?
I was involved in playgroups for many years 
- even after my DS went to full time school and it is usually the same people volunteering to organisie things and the same people doing nothing and complaining.
I think having read all your posts so far, that what has happened would have happened to any mum. Honestly I'ld find you odd, male or female, for wanting a birthday do when its not her birthday just cause you think everyone else had one so its not fair! 
wouldn't endeer you to me
and the picnic thing, see if it was me I'ld just kick myself for being a numpty, I would never go to a picnic without savories and blanket for my DC and the cakes was because they prob thought you were asking what EXTRAS to bring, other than the obvious! but you sat there seething at the people who DID pack sensible things to keep their DCs happy for the duration, then you expect them to find you to be friend material?
I think you sound like you go there with a chip, which is picked up on and people oblige by giving you a wide berth
and playgroups are not generally services provided by a company, you bring what you need and whatever extra you want to share! If you want your DC to have a cake cause its her birthday minus whatever amt of weeks, well, err, bring one yourself! that's what I'ld do!
the dad thing might actually be a convienient excuse for you to not have to think about whether your expectations Vs your contributions are realistic, and whether personality wise its perhaps not the group for you. Do you LIKE those women? If you don't YABU for wanting them to like you and pulling the dad card if they don't!
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