To think that sexless marriages

[JustBinIt]

Are very sad and those who claim to be happy in them are in denial?

[NorfolkBroad]

But its not just about the sex obviously. Am surprised at the difference it has made to my life though.

[NorfolkBroad]

Well can only speak for myself but i was definitely miserable and in denial in my sexless relationship with my ex. Now I am extremely happy with my DP of 7 years in what is a very lovely relationship with lots of sex. Some of my friends in sexless marraiges are happy with it and others are really fed up. I dont think u are alone in wondering this at all.

[KellyKettle]

And actually, having sex isn't an indicator of anything.

When I was 15 I caught my parents having sex . A week later my mum had left my dad for a man she'd been seeing for a year.

My dad went around for weeks telling everyone who'd listen how shocked he was because their sex life was great and they'd "made love" the night before she left.

Sex wasn't much of a barometer there.

[maypole1]

So if your not snagging like a rabbit your not happy WTF have you boot thought some people actually seek out others with low sex drives just like them


How's the view from trollsville

[NorfolkNChance]

I've got 20:1 odds on that the OP is the OW and trying to justify herself. You won't get better on that, NNC's Betting Shop Guarentee!

[ouryve]

YABU. Not everyone wants the same from a relationship.

[ChooChooWowWow]

Dh and I have been together for 15 years. For 6 years we didn't have sex (wont bother going into the reasons). Three years ago the sex resumed. We are no happier or more in love now than we were before or after our period of abstinence. I think I am more relaxed after a good session and we both missed sex during that period. We were never sad though, and our relationship was as warm and committed as it is now. I think the key is if you find yourself in that situation to keep talking and still keep the romance going in other ways. A real relationship will survive without sex if needs be.

So op from my personal experience you are talking rubbish.

[SnakeOnCrack]

bizarroooooo

[Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie]

shes having sex.

[KellyKettle]

OP isn't coming back is she?

[havinhoops1974]

I sort of agree tbh but that my view people differ, personally if my husband said to me 'I don't want sex with you anymore' I'd assume if he wasnt already, gettting it somewhere else was hoping too, or just didnt like me both are deal breakers.

[RhinoKey]

Why do you care OP?

[Hammy02]

OP. If you were genuinely happy yourself, you wouldn't give other people's sex lives a 2nd thought.

[Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie]

think op's just come to boast what mind numbing sex shes just had.i can imagine her pitying everyone sat with a post sex fag hanging out of her mouth.
we are not worthy op,your judgey pants are far too high.

[aldiwhore]

If both ARE happy, then I don't see the issue. If there are reasons why one can't/won't and the other supports them but would rather have sex, then I don't find that 'sad' I find that something to respect. If one is 'with holding' or playing games, that's mean.

The worst thing is to judge. When someone says they're happy, you don't have to believe them but don't see your own opinion as fact.

[Jelly15]

There have been long periods in our twenty five year marriage where we have not has sex and other times where we have it often, but we have always been loving and happy.

[cheekeymonkey]

I think kittyfane might have hit the nail on the head there.
It is much easier to make a sweeping statement than say "my husband doesn't want to have sex with me".
It's a very damaging and lonely feeling.

[pigletmania]

some people don't like the sex act, they just don't find it pleasant is that a problem to you! Sex is more than just penetration, its about physical and emotional closeness. Some people just prefer foreplay. Its horses for courses, and its not up to you to decide whats right and wrong.

[pigletmania]

For some sex is not important, they do other things which bring them physically and emotionally closer, sex is not the be all and end all you know!

[pigletmania]

justbinit thats a very broad and sweeping statement. Just because sex is important in your marriage does not mean that it is important in other marriages. There is a problem if one person wants sex and the other dosen't and this persists. But if both parties are happy with it, whats the problem?

[KittyFane]

OP. Do you feel this way because your DP doesn't want sex with you anymore?

If the decision not to want sex is one sided, I can see why you would start this thread as I suppose it can be hurtful.

A mutually sexless relationship is a different matter, I can't see why it bothers you personally though.

Are you always this interested in other's sex lives?

[nooka]

My parents have been 'chaste' for some time now. I don't know what my father feels about it to be honest, but they do appear to have a very happy marriage (just celebrated 50 years together). My mother's arthritis is now so painful that I think full on sex would probably be pretty much impossible now, but I don't think she has ever found sex very enjoyable. Which is sad., but I don't think there has ever been a shortage of love between them.

[ShadowsCollideWithPeople]

Well, tbh, if both people in the marriage / relationship are happy, why does it matter what anyone else thinks? Or, OP, did someone make you the Grand Authority on whether couples are sad / cheating / in denial? FWIW, when I was anorexic, DP and I didn't have sex for well over a year. I hated myself, you see, so couldn't bring myself to be naked around anyone, even DP. Plus I was way too hungry and weak to muster up any enthusiasm for sex.

After my first MC, DP couldn't have sex with me for several months. Traumatised, confused, distraught, frightened of having sex and the same awfulness happening again. Now we have what is considered a normal sexual relationship. Finally.

Sorry, am rambling. Essentially, OP, it is not for you to judge other people's sexual relationships. At all.

[sunhat]

Here Here Pootle and Kelly Kettle.

And what about if you have a bout of cancer or something.

I mean jee whizz OP.