to ignore hospital's advice re my DS

[Boys2mam]

My DS2, who is 3, fell over today and split his lip :( It's a small cut, just short of 1cm.

We took him to A&E to be checked out expecting to be told he was fine and it would heal on its own. However, the paedeatric nurse advised us because the cut is on his "lip border" he would need stitches. We've been referred to our city hospital tomorrow morning for him to be "put under" and stitched.

Now the impression the nurse gave was that this would happen, not that he'd be checked by the plastic surgeon and they would make the decision. This made me think it was a necessity. Looking at the cut, it looks fine. Not necessary to put such a small child through starvation for the anaesthetic and the overall ordeal for what amounts to a small scar.

But I'm worried about what if we don't go? Whats the worst that can happen?

I'm really asking AIBU not to take him to this appointment in the morning? I really don't want to put him through more than is necessary but will absolutely take him if there is something I'm just not seeing.

TIA and sorry its so long :)

[bruffin]

Not sure that glueing works very well by the lip. My Ds managed to put a tooth through his lip from the inside leaving a hole. The nurse glued it but the glue fell out on the way home and we had to go straight back. The new glue lasted about 2 days, which was just long enough for it to heal. He was 14 so a lot older, he was also not allowed to eat or drink for quite a while.

[wonkylegs]

My DS is going to have a great scar thanks to cracking his skull against a marble floor last wk whilst falling out of bed on holiday. The hospital were fab but glued rather than stitched as it was difficult to deal with a struggling traumatised toddler in a different language and it gluing is quicker.
DH is a medic and said he would have got it stitched at home as it'll be a nice scar but tbh I don't care as he's ok , all that blood made me worried. Guess he'll have to keep the floppy haircut forever now
Hope your LO is ok

[zipzap]

have you got anything you can take to hospital with you to really entertain him that he is fascinated by?

for example, My ds2 is 3 and loves playing on my phone, he doesn't get to have a go very often which makes it a big treat and is great for things like doctor's appointments when he needs to be distracted... All great for reducing the stress of an appointment like this, even if just for distracting him when the doctor is examining him to start with or for when he comes round from the GA. Or maybe his big sibling(s) have a ds or something similar that he'd love to get his hands on for a change. Plus favourite story and car and other distractions...

It worked too well for me - ds2 had a tantrum the other day as we left the hospital as he wanted to go back to see the doctor (where he'd been allowed to play!)

[amistillsexy]

OP, my little boy did exactly the same thing (also on a Sunday evening, so no plastic surgeons on hand! )
By the time we got to the hospital the next day, it had started to heal and the surgeons decided it was as good as it was going to get so they left it.
He has the faintest scar now, but not at all noticable.
You might get away without the stitches!

Good luck in the morning. X

[misdee]

hope he gets eeen to quickly.

dd3 had to go under GA to have her fingers repaired after trpping them in a door. IIRC before she went under the operations team (my mind is melting atm) came round and went over her notes, looked at her hand, and then decided on what to do.

[ednurse]

I have a 6 inch long scar which is 1cm at the widest point along my underside of my forearm. I fell onto a toddlers cardboard book age 5 and as it didn't bleed my parents didn't take me to a doctor until the next day, at which point its too late. so don't feel TOO bad

[StealthPolarBear]

ahhh ok, thanks. I'm actually more worried that we didn't get it checked. i think we did call NHS Direct....can't really remember.

[twotesttickles]

Stealth - base of nose will not cause major scarring because it's not subject to so much movement as lips - that bit of your face basically does not move when you smile, eat, talk etc. :)

DS has a whacking great scar on his head from falling out of bed at Centerparcs. He looks like bloody Harry Potter.

[ednurse]

Yes if a cut crosses the Vermillion border it needs suturing by a maxillofacial specialist.

He will be fine, they will give a VERY light anaesthetic and suture it in the anaesthetic room more than likely, your DS will be in recovery in probably less than 30 minutes.

[StealthPolarBear]

Sorry that ws a very selfish post. OP, hope your DS is OK, sounds like they are going ahead with the op, and so i hope he recovers quickly.

[StealthPolarBear]

When I say "it bled for ages" I mean the little wound, rather than his nose.

[StealthPolarBear]

Oh no I am quite worried now. DS fell over when he was about 18 months and had a gash at the bottom of his nose, it bled for ages. He does now have a small scar - I notice it, but I don't think many others do. I thought this sort of thing was a hazard of childhood but am worried I should have got it stitched. What are the chances it's going to cause any problems?

[Stoirin]

why would you listen to untrained people instead of the professionals in the first place?

[Boys2mam]

Its not that I want to ignore their advice, its more other people planting seeds of doubt after the fact.

I absolutely take on board all comments and will 100% be attending the appointment tomorrow to see what the surgeons advice is.

Again, thanks all x

[twotesttickles]

You are probably talking about an anaesthetic for all of fifteen minutes. Scars are unpredictable on the face and so do get extra care, it's not like your knee. Particularly with small children the underlying muscle structures etc can be constrained by scar tissue which makes the face develop differently and can make the scar even more noticeable.

If it was my child I would go and I would ask all the questions in the world before making the decision but ultimately I'd go ahead.

Hope he feels better soon btw, poor little thing. :(

[pippilongsmurfing]

I would definetely take him, they would not advise you to bring him in to be put under general anesthetic for something trivial.

[TheMonster]

Take him in, please.
I cat my lip open when I was 3 or 4. My uncle was a doctor and he cut his GP surgery short to come to hospital to supervise the stitching to avoid bad scarring. There was quite a lot of scar tissue, but my uncle ensured there was so that I could have it fixed when I had stopped growing. At 16 I had my lip restructured to get rid of the scar tissue and give me a more natural looking top lip. If I hadn't had it stiched I would have had a very odd lip and it wouldn't have been as easy to fix.

[letmehelp]

Maybe squeaky, but DS1 is 10 now and not at all traumatised or scared of hospitals - just proud of his scar!

In the event we took the doctor's advice, which was that any risk is too big if it's not necessary.

[marcopront]

My daughter got her finger trapped in a door and her nail bed was fractured.

I took her to A and E, they said she needed to see a plastic surgeon. He took a brief look and said it needed to be stitched under general anaesthetic. I think it was so she was still and they could examine it properly as well. This was 10 months ago. If you examined her fingers you would have to look hard to find the scar.
It was however the scariest 2 hours of my life while she was in surgery.

I bit through my lip aged 3, it was stitched at the local doctors. I still have a scar.

Go and see the doctor and see what he says.

[squeakytoy]

I think I would rather take the (very very low) risk of a GA rather than subject my child to a very traumatic painful experience that he will remember for life, and quite possibly give him a severe phobia of hospitals or anything medical.

[troisgarcons]

I split my lip at tht age and it healed with a larged lump that made me self conccious when a teeneager - dont think about it now

[letmehelp]

I think you need to take him, but it is reasonable for you to want to be absolutely sure he needs the GA and to expect the surgeon to explain to you why this is the case.

When DS1 was the same age as your DS, he got a very nasty cut on his head, which clearly needed stitching. However, the doctor was very reluctant to give him GA and asked us to hold him down while the stitches went it. It was horrible to do it, but the doctor and the nurse were fantastic. Once the decision was made, the nurse was quick as a flash wrapping him in a sheet so he couldn't move his arms or legs, then I held his shoulders down while DH has his feet.

It sounds awful, but it was over very quickly and I was glad he didn't have to have the GA with it's associated risks. I don't think the hospital will want to give your DS GA unless it's really necessary, but do ask them why it is.

[allhailtheaubergine]

My daughter did the same thing at the same age. She has a tiny scar, and I am thankful to the surgeons for that - it could have been much bigger, and right in the centre of her face. No hiding that. The scar is more noticeable if she is cold or unwell, but some days you can barely see it.

They have to put them under GA because children that young can't be relied upon to stay still. My young son recently had stitches without GA (outside UK) and it was a truly awful experience - he screamed and fought throughout and has ended up with a bigger scar than if we had done nothing.

My daughter was sewn up by the maxillo-facial team, I believe because they are the best or most practised at tiny stitching.

I'm not saying that day was a highlight of my parenting career, but tbh it wasn't all that bad. Definitely far worse for dh and me than for her! And I am so pleased we did it.