to say money does not equal happiness.

[iliketherain]

as title.

I just wish some people would put other things above money....

[TheBolter]

Nah, more money would make me very happy thanks. I'd buy a bigger house, throw extravagant parties, buy a holiday home, take luxurious holidays, drive a beautiful car, get a load of beauty treatments done every week, stop work, shop at M&S every week, have a wine celler filled with amazing wine, SHOP LOTS, do a load of hobbies I have neither time nor money for, have long term financial security... yeah I think I could live with all that quite happily!

[Maisiethemorningsidecat]

Did your parents manage to get a better life for themselves? It really makes you appreciate everything you have when you read stories like that

[TheBolter]

M&S for food, not per una fgs.

[exoticfruits]

Money can't buy you any of the important things in life. (if does however help)

[Maisiethemorningsidecat]

Oh I'm so pleased for them. It must have been awful having to worry to that extent about money for basic things like food and heat - it really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

[TadlowDogIncident]

Hmm, exoticfruits, I count food, warmth and shelter as pretty important myself.

[motherinferior]

Yep. Also books. And pay your TV licence

[TadlowDogIncident]

Not to mention the broadband connection!

[Minus273]

I agree with tadlow. Money doesn't buy happiness exactly but food warmth and shelter are tbh essentials. exotic, if these things aren't important how long do you think I would survive if I went and slept outside for the winter, did eat anything again and only wore the clothes I happened to have on?

Money doesn't buy happiness in the sense that things don't have to be top of the range, gold plated etc. but if you either don't have enough for the bare essentials or don't know how you are going to pay for the bare essentials then that equals a pretty miserable existence.

[Proudnscary]

It so does

[Proudnscary]

Of course it blooming well doesn't! But it is nice.

[forehead]

Money DOES make you happy .
However, i do agree that sometimes having more money just means that you just buy more stuff that you don't really need.

[Pagwatch]

The thing that people never realise about getting money is that firstly it changes many of your relationships which can be stressful. So the 'friend' is suddenly distant or jealous or you get family demands and then treated poorly whether r you respond or not. That can be awful as it shakes your belief in the people that you believed loved you. You are not 100% sure how people really feel. You also get people being friendly when they previously could care less

And it makes you feel terrible if things don't feel perfect. Everyone suddenly has a 'well it's alright for you' response to anything that you may be struggling with. You feel guilty if you don't feel blissfully happy.
Or you can. Until you chose not to give a fuck

But really. Relationships struggle under change and ruche but isolated can not be any fun

[Pagwatch]

Ruche is when you have a lot of money but wear gathered fabrics.

[shineynewthings]

My personal belief now is that

Poverty doesn't make you happy.

Money doesn't make you happy,

No one can make you happy.

It's your mental attitude/perception to life and it's challenges that can make you happy or unhappy.

Not what you have or what you don't have.

Proof is that people pay therapists to help them change their mental perceptions of their problems not the problem itself.

The one exception to this in my book is not being able to meet your basic needs. That is when money can make you happier. The perception of basic need though varies enormously between people and classes. In the west it usually incorporates what many in severe poverty in the third world consider grand luxuries. If you're brought up middle-class your perception of how much money you "need" to be happy will be different from those of someone brought up very rich or someone brought up extremely poor.

How we perceive our "needs" determines whether money in and of itself will make us happy.

[forehead]

Good post shiney. I wad just about to post something similar. I also agree with Pagwatch that relationships change. That's why i don't like people to know that i have a bit of money

[shineynewthings]

Thanks forehead and I agree with you, I wouldn't let people know I had a lot of money either, it definitely would change the dynamic of the friendship.

[Pagwatch]

See, I have never hidden who we are because to hide our change in fortune would seem odd to me, like a lie.
As difficult as it has been I would never change what I learnt about people, about who my real friends are.
And being secretive is not easy for me.

[ShellyBoobs]

It's interesting to read of others' experiences of lack of money when growing up. I really think it affects the way you think about money for the rest of your life.

I worry a little about what could happen in the future with regard to finances. Not in the sense of losing jobs etc (I hope we have the covered to a certain extent) but in more abstract ways such as currency devaluing to such an extent that it wouldn't buy food.

I know I'm being ridiculous really but it keeps me on my toes...

[begonyabampot]

don't think it's necessary having loads of money but enough to fit in with those around you. If you live in a street or have a set of friends where you obviously are the poorest then that will get to you. Real poverty, where you are counting every penny and can't make ends meet is something different again. I've learnt a bit about the working poor on mumsnet and I still feel that if both parents work you should have enough money for food, bills, some treats and at the least some kind of holiday for your family whether it's abroad or a week camping here - that there are many working poor in the UK who can't really do this is quite shocking.

[Maisiethemorningsidecat]

If we ever become very wealthy it would be very important to me to be able to share that wealth with friends and my extended family, because they all mean a lot to me, they are all hard working and decent people, and because I'd know how difficult life can be without money or if money is tight.

It's interesting to read that some of you feel that you wouldn't advertise your wealth because you're worried about the effect it would have on your relationships. Does that mean that you wouldn't share it? Not having a go in any way at all, but curious

[forehead]

Maisie.. You can help people, without 'advertising' your wealth. You can donate to charities without making a song and dance about it.

[Maisiethemorningsidecat]

I wasn't talking about charities - that's obviously very easy. I was talking about friends and my extended family.