Dh and dd's invited for dinner but not me.

[tah2]

That's about it really. Mil has invited dh and dd's over for a roast dinner but not me. She says it's because I don't eat lamb and she has bought a large leg of lamb and it's too much for her and her dh. Plus it would be doing me a favour because I spend a lot of time planning my work for school every Sunday so I will be able to do it in peace. When dh tried to say she wasn't doing us a favour because I still had to eat she still didn't offer for mr to join them. After much persuasion she said I could go too but we politely declined.

[reelingintheyears]

Bitch...DS1s GF doesn't like lamb so i do a bit of chicken seperatley for her.

It's not difficult.

[insanityscratching]

I for one would have been delighted to have the opportunity to get some work done uninterrupted, eat just what I fancy knowing dh and dc were being catered for elsewhere. In fact if my MIL was cooking lamb I'd have gladly stayed at home tbh as I can't stand the smell either.

[Fatshionista]

Going on the experience I have with my own MIL who would do something like this, I would be pissed off and I would think there were ill intentions, just a very sly way of excluding you.

[TunaTiebacks]

She does sound a bit of a nightmare! YANBU. But at least it sounds as though your DH sees what she is like and supports you, which is half the battle. Leave her to get on with it. I'm a bit jealous of all her leftover lamb though, lamb sandwiches are amazing!

[PootlePosyPerkin]

My MIL would definitely do the same thing. Not because she hates me though (I don't think ). She would genuinely think that I would rather have a couple of hours on my own to do whatever, than to go and eat lamb . I don't eat lamb either BTW.

[PuppyMonkey]

Get some work done

Fecking iPhone.

[PuppyMonkey]

I'm another one in the "sounds like a brilliant idea" camp. As a one off, I don't see anything rude in her invitation at all and it wouldn't have killed you to eat beans on toast and get done work gone in peace.

Also, yabu not to like lamb.

[SheCutOffTheirTails]

Nobody would post that, because having been invited, they would fully understand that they could decline if they didn't want to go.

This is the nice way to have done what this old bitch did:

"Hey, we've got in a massive leg of lamb. Do you guys want to come over?"

"X doesn't really like lamb"

"Oh dear, well that's a shame. You and the girls like it though, so feel free to come over if it suits."

There was no need to issue an invitation that deliberately excluded the OP. That was done to make a point.

[MollieO]

I suppose the alternative thread would be

"MIL invited me and family for lunch and served lamb which she knows I don't like. I don't understand why dh and dd couldn't have gone on their own and left me in peace to get on with school prep."

[SheCutOffTheirTails]

I'm just trying to imagine my parents treating any of their offsprings in law like this - making a point of not inviting them to a lunch their child and grandchildren were invited to.

Nope, can't do it. Because they are not dicks.

This isn't a MIL-bashing thread, unless you believe all MILs are rude and unpleasant.

Neither of my MILs are like this, they're both ace.

[pommedechocolat]

I would love to not have to go to the PILS. YABU.

[TheOriginalFAB]

MIL invites all of us. Sometimes I don't go as I just don't want too.

[tah2]

DH visits his parents every sat on his own (as he plays golf with his dad) whilst i take the dcs to their lessons so its not as though mil doesnt get time alone with her ds.
I dont want to come across as a MIL hating cow because i do really appreciate the support she gives us, but its not the first time i havent been invited over, or moaned about, or made to feel comfortable. Even whilst i was on maternity leave she would invite them all over. TBH i think she hates the fact that i wont rise to any of her suggestions/digs. DH and I are convinced she would love nothing more than a good arguement so she can play the hard done by card but i refuse to rise to it. I always think life is too short for arguing and will do anything to keep the peace. Maybe thats my problem.

Like i said, im not looking to cause an arguement i just wanted to get it clear in my own head if i was being unreasonable or not.

[diddl]

Bit on the fence with this tbh.

It does seem rude to not invite OP at all.

But then if MIL isn´t usually intentionally rude, it seems a reasonable enough thing to suggest.

[ImperialBlether]

HuntyCat, you said:

ImperialBlether - I would never expect my dc when they are adults to swan off to spend time alone with Mummy when they have their own family - it would be an intvite including ALL of my dc's family or not at all. Why should, say, DS1's wife be left at home, on one of DS1's few days off work, to do all the childcare, and get no free time herself - when I could invite all of them, and have a lovely, chatty family meal?

Actually I meant with the grandchildren! I didn't expect my (then) husband to take me every time he saw his parents. I didn't expect them to want to see me every single time they saw him. He is their child. Just because he married me, it doesn't mean they shouldn't want to see him on his own occasionally.

And of course I didn't mean the DIL should do the childcare and housework and everything else, but surely to christ most DILs on here want time away from their ILs too, don't they?

[TheWorldKeepsSpinning]

I agree that it depends what she's like the rest of the time.

As far as visiting your mother without your partner, I absolutely love it when me, my sister and brothers end up at my mums without any of our partners.
We all get along with each others spouses and everyone has a good time when we're all together but it's still really special when it's just the original family. It doesn't happen very often with the brothers though me and my sister will often meet up together and see mum on our own with our kids.

[LydiaWickham]

Why don't you like lamb? (wants roast lamb now)

[TheFlyingOnion]

what a cow!

Well done to your dh for standing up to her....

[CeliaFate]

It's not that they're joined at the hip, it's the fact that the OP wasn't even invited that's so rude. Surely you would invite everyone, then say, "OP If you'd rather stay at home to be able to work in peace, I understand."
To deliberately exclude one family member isn't on.

[Tryharder]

As SQUEAKYTOY has just said. Another MIL-bash-by-stealth thread. I don't get this joined at the hip thing. I regularly go and see my parents without my DH. I doubt very much she was trying to offend you.

[squeakytoy]

I do love the MIL threads... if you reversed the situation and said

"my mum has invited me and the kids round to her house for lunch, she does a fab roast dinner, but DH doesnt like roast dinners so she didnt invite him, he is busy anyway, and is always saying he would like a bit of peace on a Sunday.. " nobody would bat an eyelid..

I would never expect my dc when they are adults to swan off to spend time alone with Mummy when they have their own family.. are you sure about that Hunty? So once your kids are married or no longer living at home, you dont expect to ever see them on their own again?

[blackeyedsusan]

planning in peace sounds a very good idea to me. just sounds like she was trying to help you out. think she should have asked which you would have preferred though.