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AIBU?

Hmm PFB, birthday and being on a school trip, opinions required on this one.

50 replies

Fimbo · 16/09/2011 09:15

If I am being unreasonable then I am willing to be told so (before we start!).

A mum I know from the school gates is beside herself because her pfb who is 12 has gone on a school residential trip for 2 days/3nights and it's her birthday inbetween. She is positively maudlin about it. She even told her dd how sad she would be. Now she is moping around on facebook with random status updates about how awful it all is.

My perspective of it would be, ok my dd is not going to be here on her birthday and that's disappointing but she will be having a fantastic time with her mates and we will do lots of celebrating at the weekend and have a birthday party etc. This woman's dd is very popular amongst her peers, so thankfully will probably not be wallowing like her mother.

What would your take on it be?

OP posts:

Report

catgirl1976 · 16/09/2011 10:44

Oh dear - the poor child! I expect she will have the best birthday ever free from the clutches of her drama-queen, attention seeking mother!

wannaBe · 16/09/2011 10:45

she needs to get a grip.

I went to boarding school from the age of five and so never celebrated my birthday at home. It's just a day, really.

DeWe · 16/09/2011 10:46

I would be sad (quietly) if one of my dc wasn't at home on their birthday. BUT at the same time I would be thrilled for them because I would expect them to have an extra special birthday, as I'm sure the teachers would make it so.

ExpensivePants · 16/09/2011 10:47

I turned 13 on a 10 day trip to Wales. I think my mum sent a card in my case but bugger all else. I shared a dorm with a schoolfriend with the same birthday. We were each given a box of Maltesers at breakfast and had happy birthday sang. Was bloody marvellous.

WilsonFrickett · 16/09/2011 10:48

Good Lord, the girl will have a brilliant birthday being away with all her friends! Someone needs to get a life...

Maryz · 16/09/2011 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett · 16/09/2011 10:49

Ah, just saw Labmonkey's post - OP couldn't you pass that off as a story of your own and stop that stupid woman moaning and cheer the DM up a bit?

kat2504 · 16/09/2011 10:49

Ridiculous! The kid will have a lovely birthday on the trip with all her classmates. The mum is being unreasonable to make the child feel guilty. 12 years old for goodness sake.
I'm a teacher and have been on residential trips with children who have birthdays. They really enjoy it as they got the cake served in front of everyone in the dining hall and a massive great fuss made over it. When you are 12 being with your friends is way way more important than being with your mum on your birthday. Sounds like she has major issues about the child growing up and needs to sort herself out a bit.

Fimbo · 16/09/2011 13:08

Sorry I have been out and I know I am dripping feeding, I should have just said it all in one go.

I asked her to come to mine for a coffee thinking that might take her mind off it and trying to be kind, but she refused saying that she would rather do housework as that would help. She is the type that she is at the school for every slightest thing.

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 16/09/2011 13:13

"I'm not that chuffed they have to go to school on their birthday tbh."

I feel sorry for the children who always have their birthdays in school holidays as they are the ones who miss out. At DD's old primary school the child gets to take sweets in to hand round the whole class. The class sings happy birthday as well, and in the infants the child gets a card from the teacher. It also means that parties aren't cancelled because everyone is away on holiday.

brodanbell · 16/09/2011 13:19

Let's just hope the mother's behaviour doesn't impact negatively on the daughter...i.e. turning her into a complete wimp, afraid to do anything, go anywhere because her Mother might 'be sad'.

I think I turned 11 on a week long school trip, and I remember there was actually quite a collection of us who had birthdays on the same trip. I had the best time. Midnight feasts and our own special disco. It was brilliant.

Can nobody shake this woman (at least virtually over Facebook) and tell her to get a grip?

Flisspaps · 16/09/2011 13:21

Her DD is going to have a fabulous time, what a great way to spend your birthday as a kid - with all of your friends doing something fun! Poor kid is probably dying of embarrassment at her mother's antics.

Fimbo · 16/09/2011 13:25

Nobody has really commented on fb to her, I guess they are all thinking the same as me. Tbh she is so precious about her dc, I think if anyone did say anything she would be like a braying animal.

OP posts:

brodanbell · 16/09/2011 13:29

I feel your pain Fimbo. I bet you aren't the only one to be groaning at every FB status update, yearning to type a witty response, only to delete it. I have a FB friend with nauseating updates, and I long, long, long to write something, but fear it might get me deleted, and then where would my entertainment be!?

halcyondays · 16/09/2011 13:34

The mum is being silly, she will enjoy the trip and she can have some birthday treats and surprises when she gets home.

cat64 · 16/09/2011 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

baguettecut · 16/09/2011 13:52

DS2 spent the birthday before last on a school trip. We gave him the choice. Spending 7 days with his mates sort of trumped it for him really! I sent a beautiful & huge cake for everyone. He had a brill day.

Why is she at the school gates with a 12 year old, BTW?

Fimbo · 16/09/2011 17:32

Her youngest is at junior school with my youngest, that's when it all came out. (she doesn't normally take the 12yr old to school but she did on Wednesday because she had luggage for the residential).

Well I went passed her house on the way to school and her dh's car was there (he normally works quite long hours) so he must have had the day/afternoon off for the reunion with the birthday girl.

OP posts:

carabos · 16/09/2011 18:02

DS2 (aged 18) spent this summer (post exams) in Europe with some mates. One of the mates mums had her birthday while they were away and the boy spent the day in tears because he couldn't be with her. That's what happens if you start down that road....

Fimbo · 17/09/2011 12:43

Well it gets better. Spoke to another mum yesterday and mentioned in the passing about X missing Y on her birthday. "Oh yes, I know all about that, X phoned school when the letter about the trip came out and asked them to change the date."

I shook my head.

OP posts:

mycatsaysach · 17/09/2011 12:50

this happened to me and dd (psb) a few weeks ago - she was invited to go away on two holidays this year.one happened to be on her birthday.
i was a bit sad but sucked it up - boosted her up about it and we celebrated when she came back.i also packed some pressies for her to open on the day.

clam · 17/09/2011 12:51

Asked them to change the date???????!!!!!

ROFL

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cat64 · 17/09/2011 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TrillianAstra · 17/09/2011 13:17

Asked them to change the date?

Where it would, most likely, be on some other child's birthday?

baguettecut · 17/09/2011 13:47

I'll bet the school had a good laugh at that request !

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