to NOT pay HER parking ticket?

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

Today, dp, my mums, our dcs and my moh went to a wedding fayre.

I went in the car with moh as squishing between to carseats isn't much fun.

We had some trouble finding parking, I'd already offered to pay parking as she was coming for me iyswim (didn't offer fuel as it was 5min drive, I'd have walked it she offered to drive)

Anyway long story short we couldn't find a space. Dp found some in a 30min only area. I asked friend if she wanted to park elsewhere she said no were fine, its a small fayre and we were going for a specific stand. Stupidly we were 5mins late to cars and got ticketed.
£30 fine each.

So we leave all fine. She then joins us in our car for another fayre this afternoon as my mum couldn't come. Spent 5hrs together. No more said about the ticket, we drop her home and 5mins later she texts me.

"What are you doing about this ticket, I haven't got £30"

I'm not even going to enter into her idea of skint as there's already a thread on the same basis, but I'm sure the two pairs of uggs she ordered yesterday and the £100 trainers today weren't necessary.

Anyway AIBU to ignore the message and if she asks me face to face refuse to pay it.

[belgo]

Difficult one, you were in her car, you were late as well so I would offer to pay half.

[ViviPru]

and to clarify, I did mean conscious, not conscience

[ViviPru]

Thanks for coming back and updating, OP You need to erase this entire incident from your conscious NOW

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

I don't think she's lazy at all, she's entilted to not wish to walk places when she gets a rare day off work.

My wedding is costing her nothing, I'm paying for her whole outfit, night at the hotel before, and doubt ill have a hen. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to be in my wedding then expect them to pay for the honour.

And I didn't force her along she asked if I attended any to join me as she loves them. We are very good friends but everyone has there differences. We lead very different lives I'm a sahm she's childfree and often out having fun so our idead of being 'skint' are going to be polar opposites. I've offered to pay half last night but not until dp gets paid as we don't have it until then and now she's ignoring me. Her DH texted my DP and told him to ignore her that they can afford it she just wants to spend elsewhere.

[mowbraygirl]

Have a look on the website of the chap who has a column in Saturday's Daily Teleraph Motoring section he answers lots of questions and gives good advice about parking tickets it is www.honestjohn.co.uk. Good luck.

[TheCrunchyside]

YABU. She is your MOH so I guess one of your closest dearest friends but you don't even like her - in your view she stitches you up over taxis, buys unneccesary footwear and is too lazy to walk places.

I would be so hurt if one of my bessie mates felt like this about me.

Pay her parking ticket and get a new MOH (you'd actually be doing her a favour)

[Dancergirl]

Personally for the sake of a friendship I would just pay it and be done with it. Do you really want a falling out with her before your wedding?

[fedupofnamechanging]

Paying the ticket might be easier, but I think you are already feeling resentment over her attitude towards spending your money. You warned her, she chose to park there anyway = her problem.

[Tenacity]

OP- You have two choices here;

a. You pay for her ticket, (and learn a big lesson about being careful regarding WHO you choose to play a big part in a monumental event) and move on.

b. The other option is not paying, which will probably cause a rift with your MOH, and could affect the smooth running of your wedding.
Is thirty pounds really worth it when you will probably spend a lot more on your wedding?

For the sake of peace, I know which option I would choose.

[bemybebe]

emotions and issues of friendship aside, the driver is responsible for observing high-way code and parking restrictions and other issues to do with driving. if she broke a speed limit, would you pay her fine and take her points? if she crushed into another car? it is her responsibility and that is it.

now, you can be a good friend and say what others were saying about the event being about you and not her and all that, but it is your judgement

i would be very at a friend who would give me their ticket/fine to pay

besides, please check all the detail on the ticket (car reg #, dates, times, etc) if anything, even a little bit wrong the ticket is not enforceable and will be cancelled. happened to me when I parked on two red lines (had to - long story), got a ticket through the post and got it cancelled because it stated I was parked at 4.20am and not 4.20pm.

[Sandalwood]

She wanted you to pay for a taxi you didn't go in?

Whatever it was that you needed DP, mum and moh for, that can be done in 20 mins is intriguing.
And then another (5 hours) wedding fayre. Sounds like your moh is already going above and beyond.

[fedupofnamechanging]

As has been said earlier, if a council give you a fine, you have to pay and then appeal. If it is a private company (like parking eye, for example) then what they issue is not a fine but an invoice. They take the view that you enter in to a contract with them when you park and if you don't have a ticket for the length of time you stay, you have breached your contract. They cannot compel you to pay it without taking you to court, no matter how many letters they send you saying otherwise. They cannot send bailiffs to your home without a court order, even if they imply otherwise.

I think they get addresses from police records (although I may be wrong), which raises questions for me regarding data protection.

[Milsean]

I don't get all the " you can't prove you haven't been here all day" stuff. Were there no timed tickets? If not, you could have been there less than 30 mins. I'd be appealing it anyway.

[ViviPru]

YABU SHEBU PSCOBU. Its an orgy of unreasonableness.

If I was you, I'd have felt responsible there and then and offered to pay - at least half. If I was your MoH, I'd have felt responsible there and then and offered to pay - at least half. If it were me and my MoH we'd have probably ended up in a very British "no I'll pay" "no I'll pay" standoff in the carpark.

Your respective financial situations have nothing whatsoever to do with this.

I do sympathise with you though OP because while I stand by the above statements, you can't change your initial reactions and its her subsequent behaviour that is unreasonable. She's clearly got home and her DP/Mum/friend had had a word in her ear about how she shouldn't have had to pay, when she'd probably otherwise not have given it much more thought.

Money seems to be becoming a sensitive issue between you and your MoH, this might just be the tip of the iceberg if you don't handle it right. I reckon if you want the overall outcome to be a harmonious wedding with a good relationship between bride & MoH you're going to have to either follow dandylioness's suggestion to the latter, or suck this one up and factor it into your wedding costs.

[mumsamilitant]

Blimey! I would have offered to pay half of the spot! Yes, it does sound like your very anxious about money at the mo but just ask her if she could pay it now and you will give her £15 in October.

[porcamiseria]

why is she your MOH as you sound like you dont like her


she gives a day up to go to boring as fuck wedding fayres, then has to pay a £30 parking fine on top!


why THE FUCK should she pay? Its your event, not hers, then you bitch cos she has new shoes

pay the fine and be a bit nicer OP

[Chocolategirl3]

If she parked on private land she doesn't have to pay. If its a council ticket then she has to pay but can appeal it. tbh she chose to park where she did and is responsible for the car and the ticket, if it was my car i wouldn't dream of asking anyone else to pay.

[SnakeOnCrack]

I'd appeal the tickets, they'll need to prove you were there longer than 30mins.. it'll also give you more time to pay (don't quote me on that last part)

[Icelollycraving]

You should pay half at least. She wouldn't have parked there if she wasn't attending this for your benefit.
Yabu for the comments about shoes etc,none of your business.

[Huffythetantrumslayer]

Op I am laughing at some of the responses you've had. Will remember to call on ovo and her stapler if I have any issues! Seriously. I think you should appeal. If they can't prove you were late back and were just ticketing everyone then I think you have a case.

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

Its five mins from hers and my mums houses, we moved out of town a few months back so its a 30min drive for us. The dcs were originally staying with my step dad but my sister got ill and I didn't want them catching it, we went in for A specific stall and nothing else, it was a bridesmaid and suithire so I needed dp and moh and my mum comes to everything wedding related.

[LydiaWickham]

OP - you need a new MOH.