MY PIL are in their 90s.
They are both fully mentally aware, unfortunately their bodies are not what they used to be.
They want to remain in their own home, and fortunately have the means to pay for their care.
They pay for 2 carers to come in 3 times a day, it is done through the council via an agency, but they pay the council for the number of hours they require the care.
The carers are meant to come in the morning for 2 hours to get them dressed, prepare breakfast, help my MIL eat the food, change the bedding, and any time left over do light housework (such as washing up the 2 cups and 2 plates in the sink). They then are meant to come for an 1 hour at lunch time, to prepare lunch, feed MIL, and wash up. They then come for 2 hours in the evening to prepare dinner, feed MIL, get them ready for bed and run the hoover around.
So far this month: -
they have arrived at 11am for the breakfast stint, so PILs have been stuck in bed all that time with no food/drink.
forced MIL to have a drink when she has a) said she doesn't want one and b) laid flat on her back on the bed.
arrived at 3pm for the "evening" stint, and put them to bed then
rushed through the basic care of the PILs and then sat on the sofa for the remaining 1hr 45mins watching television rather than doing housework.
place their drinks out of their reach once in bed so that they can't reach them, despite requests for it to be nearer.
This is just a few examples of the treatment they have had.
We as their children feel guilty that we don't live nearer to be able to care for them ourselves, but find this treatment of paid carers shockingly awful.
AIBU?
to worry about elderly care?
Whatisitthistime · 05/09/2011 22:14
The carers themselves will be given a roster of who they need to visit each day, then expected to fit everyone in. The person you need to put a rocket up is the co-ordinator of the agency (who will be on a decent, permanent, guaranteed salary unlike the dom carers), who thinks that two hours of breakfast care can be started at 11am 
Five hours a day sounds like quite a nice job for one person - have you thought about hiring a housekeeper instead? You/they should be eligible for Direct Payments so that they control who they hire; an advert in the newsagents/local paper would likely find a nice sahp or two (jobshare) in need of some extra income which would provide your parents with a regular routine and someone they can come to trust and build a relationship with.
Your parents are the employers in this situation - a fact which seems to be forgotten all too often 
Whatis, do plenty of research. They'll be entitled to all sorts of things, but you have to find out for yourself because the government bods won't tell you (don't necessarily know themselves sometimes!)
I work with adults with learning difficulties, so it's a somewhat different, but I would imagine they'd have a Care Manager from the local Social Work team?
Make sure you investigate qualifications carefully. Make sure anyone you employ has First Aid,Basic Food Hygiene, Manual Handling (something relevant to using a hoist - I'm afraid I just trust my company to deal with what training I need 
) and Safeguarding of Vulnerable Adults are a bare minimum. Worth offering a bit extra to someone with an NVQ 3/equivalent as well, it shows that they've made an effort to become qualified in the field and that they therefore take it seriously. Although, saying that one of my hardest working colleagues has never been offered the chance to work for an NVQ. She does have lots of experience in different settings though - look for stints of over 9 months in the same place to see if someone has staying power.
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