to want to discourage ds1 from joining army cadets.

[VoldemortsNipple]

He used to do scouts, which he loved. I know he will love cadets and will get loads out of it. But I just feel its the first early step to join the army and it makes my stomach twist.

I know joining cadets doesn't mean you have to join the army, but DS1 quite likes the idea and if they didn't have to go to war, it would be perfect for him. But I'm his mum and I don't want him to. I think the instructors will brainwash him.

Also I think the cadets could make him a target for bullies. The training centre isn't in the safest area.

AIBU to have these thorghts over a kids club? He's 12 by the way.

[Kayano]

Yanbu

I lost my virginity at army cadets and was pressured into smoking while there

I quit and ran thank god

It's an awful chav culture in my area

[frazzle26]

I was in the army cadets and I would say only about 15-20% max of the people there went on to join the Army. If he wants to do it then let him, I loved it (and didn't join the Army )

[LtEveDallas]

I didn't join the Cadets, but joined the Army at 18. 21 years later I'm still going strong, and almost ready to retire. For me it was a life changing decision and the absolutely right one (despite what my mum thought at the time)

My brother was in the Cadets, but never had any inclination to join the forces. I think he used it as a way to get the girls (and bloody hell he got a lot!). What it did do was keep him out of trouble - from his 'gang' of friends, 2 are complete wasters, 2 go into serious trouble, 1 is dead (drugs) and one was a petty crim who did thankfully turn his life around. I have no doubt that being in the Cadets, and the threat of being thrown out if he got into any trouble helped to keep him on the right track. I am very proud of my brother.

[Hatesponge]

I'd be more than happy for my DS1 to join the cadets. It would give him something to do other than playing his Xbox, which is the current focus of all his attentions .

[Oakmaiden]

As for the bullying goes - my son was bullied dreadfully at scouts. So far at Air Cadets there is no bullying at all - in fact it has improved things at school for him as well cos the other cadets keep an eye out for him.

It is much more grownup and disciplined than Scouts - and it is great, as far as I am concerned.

[AberdeenAngusina]

A 14 year old army cadet, Kaylee McIntosh, who lived not far from us, drowned at a cadet event. She'd been given the wrong sort of life-jacket, the leader didn't realise she was trapped under a capsized boat because no head count was taken, and the leaders gave the wrong location to the coastguard. The leader hadn't obtained a weather report before setting out, so he didn't realise the weather conditions weren't appropriate for the type of boat being used.

It wasn't just one mistake, it was a whole series of them.

That puts me totally off the idea of any of my kids joining the cadets.

[Milngavie]

DH has asked me to point out that the cadets are funded by the MOD not run the army. The instructors are all volunteers and many have no military experience.

[Milngavie]

Run BY the Army. Sorry, can't type .

[Milngavie]

Good grief, I'm trying to say "not run by the Army".

Will crawl back into my hole now .

[eurochick]

My husband was in the cadets. He loved it. He is now a tax lawyer. Not all cadets become soldiers!

[VoldemortsNipple]

Takitezee your first post sums up how I feel perfectly. Also Lifechanger, you have both helped me put things into perspective. I will ring up the cadets tomorrow and find out when its on.

DS1 would love a career in the army, I think. In some ways it would be the perfect career choice. He is very sensible and wise but is not academic. This would be a great oppertunity to gain new skills. I suppose you hear so many negative things about the army my vision has become clouded.

The reason he left scouts was because we moved house and it was too difficult to get him there. He was there for 5 years, it was a real shame that he had to give it up.

[cantfindamnnickname]

YABU I was part of the army cadets and loved it - I got to go abseiling, canoeing, hiking, learning to use radio's, shooting, marching, rescue missions, survival, weekends and weeks away doing all kinds of outdoor exciting things.

This was part of school but it was an amazing experience and I got to do so many things I might not have done. I went to college and did a similar course alongside my A levels and loved it.

I did go to recruitment events and did consider joining up for a while but decided it against it.

[FredBare]

on the other hand you could disuade him from going and encourage him to hang around on street corners, smoking, swearing and mugging old ladies :)

[CrosswordAddict]

Both our DDs are in CCf Army Cadets in their School. Neither of them want to join the army but enjoy the activities in cadets. It's a great way for girls and boys to mix too. Also makes them tougher and more resilient. Other local kids are a bit envious of their uniform. They also get to handle weapons which they think is "cool" Not happy myself at first but it has worked out fine

[Goodynuff]

My DD (14) is in army cadets and loves it. She joined when she was 12. She has learned many new skills, made some terrific friends, and gets paid to go to training camps in the summer.
She has also go to have a lot of new experiences, and got to travel through things like shooting competitions and skills camps.

She is planning on being a model

[Graciescotland]

My 18 year old cousin was in the air cadets for a few years, he did say it was a bit of a recruitment centre.

[BatsUpMeNightie]

OP it will be the best thing you can allow your DS to do. Mine did it (all the while expressing a deep urge to join the Army which obviously caused me years of worry!). He really loved every year in the Cadets, made some lifelong friends, learnt so much about himself and others and really grew as a person. He let it fade away slowly after A levels and with it went the Army thing. I am so glad he had that experience.

[seeker]

You are not tbbeing remotely unreasonable. There is a massive difference between Scouts and Cadets. Can 't you arrange for him to go t9 Scouts/explorers?

[YoungMotherTubby]

One of sons wanted to join army cadets at 14 and talked incessantly about the army - what he would do when he joined etc. He was even looking at the army college where they do A levels and pay for you to go to uni.
So I let him go to the cadets - he went for a few weeks and was very enthusiastic at first, and then got the uniform - which meant buying the boots £30!
Loved it when they did things like assembling guns but most of the time was doing drills and lots of nights were 'play nights' coz someone's birthday etc and he slowly began to be less enthusiastic. At the same time instead of me saying I didn't want him to join I was saying it was up to him.
I don't think it really gave him the insight of what happened in the army and was very much geared around making a fun time for children.

So my advice is to let him go and make up his own mind - though completely understand any trepidation on your part.

[PivotPivotPIVOT]

My dd has been going to Air Cadets for 2 years and absolutely loves it.

I think Air Cadets is preferable to Army cadets as they seem to do a lot more interesting stuff in Air Cadets.

DD has done the following: flying, aerobatics, gliding, skiing, camps, hikes, trips to Air Tattoos, trips to air bases round the country, inter-county games including hockey, rugby and athletics, Krypton Factor assault courses and has completed her Bronze DofE and is in the middle of her silver. She has just come back today from a weekend trip to the Netherlands. All trips are heavily subsidised.

Yes dd wants to join the forces, however she was thibnking of it before she joined cadets, but the vast majority of cadets don't want to, they are just going to cadets for the experience. Also cadets is very inclusive - dd goes with a child who has aspergers and a child who is profoundly deaf. They look aftr the kids wonderfully.

I was very apprehensive before dd went as I thought they would brainwash her (how wrong I was) and I don't know anyone in the army. I would recommend cadets to anyone now - it has given her so much and she is 100 times more confident than she used to be.

[theoldtrout01876]

I worked in the cadets "canteen" when I was 15-16,had a blast.I learned to shoot an strip down a machine gun:o. I used to get to go on their outings and trips,I wasnt a cadet though but had all the fun without the commitment ifywim:o

When I was 16 i joined the naval reserve. It was awesome. I loved every second of that and had fully planned on joining up full time,but being young and knowing it all stoopid didnt

The cadets and/or the reserves of any service are GREAT. They teach self sufficiency, discipline and self esteem.I think more young people should be pushed that way,it would do society some good.

As a mother I dont really want my kids having to go off to war BUT If it was something they wanted to do Id encourage them fully."Not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country" comes to mind.

The cadets and reserves IMO should be compulsory for young people,It goes a long way with their discipline,self esteem and self worth

[porcamiseria]

yanbu to feel this way
yabu to stop him

completely understand tho x

[seeker]

Joining any organisation connected with the Armed Services would go completely against our family philosophy. It would be very difficult and I don't know what I would do if either of mine wanted to join the cadets. However, if they did, they would do it having, I hope, been given the tools to make an informed decision.