To think DP should cancel today's visit from DD?

[nosexpleaseimpregnant]

My DP's DD is due to visit today at 9am. We normally have her from 9am today until 5pm tomorrow but this week my DP has had to work over night from monday until sunday. Instead of cancelling initially, he and his ex agreed that he would have her just during the day today and take her back early afternoon. Things were sorted at work, his partner said he could sleep from 1am til 6am which would have given him plenty of rest to be able to look after DD. Unfortunately things didn't work out and everything that could go wrong did go wrong, so he had zilch sleep.
I spoke to him at 7am, and he already sounds like he is hanging out of his arse so I suggested cancelling DD as I don't feel it would be fair on her. His answer? I could look after her for an hour or so whilst he sleeps and then his ex could pick her up from me later in the afternoon (she wants him to drop her off after he's supposed to have left for work).
I think this is totally unfair on everyone involved. It's unfair on DD as her day will undoubtedly be shit and boring. Unfair to expect me to look after her while he sleeps. Unfair on his ex to pick DD up from me, I'm sure I'm the last person she wants to be civil to.
So AIBU? Or should I just shut up and see her in an hour?

[afraidnotscared]

YABU. You have the day off so could have given your DSD (who you adore) the option of seeing a bit of her dad and a bit of you or cancelling if SHE WANTED TO. No reason why her day would have to be shit and boring - why not do something fun with her? Getting her mum to pick her up early just makes it look like you don't want her around.

[pranma]

Cant you just welcome the chance to enjoy some time with your dsd?
Maybe the two of you could shop for and cook a lovely meal for when her dad wakes up?Come on...you are better than you sound I am certain.

[QuintessentialShadow]

I actually think the OP deserve some sympathy.

First she hooks up with a man fresh out of a relationship with a dd.
Then she spends her money on his contact battle through the courts.
Then he is unable to sort out his work rota and contact schedule and creates problems in this manner.
Then he asks the op to have contact with his dd while he sleeps....
And judging by OPs name, she is pregnant by this man.

I think she needs some slack!!

[eaglewings]

Only two hours to go for the op until DSD is picked up.

AIBU is such an interesting forum

[Mitmoo]

Ohdearnigel it does make you wonder why she was difficult about contact in the first place, it does happen with good cause as well as just intransigence.

[Loonytoonie]

I'm also hoping that OP is off with the DD
'Tis annoying that, whatever the circumstances between the grown ups, it's always the little one's that get the raw end of the deal. I was one of those little one's and I've never forgotten.

On a brighter note, I need to investigate these Aroooo threads - is it 4 o's or can I stretch it to Arooooooooooo?

[OhdearNigel]

I suspect that, if you have had to fight through the court to get contact, DHs ex W was more than happy to cancel the visit as it will have suited her own agenda. I expect she is busy telling DD how Daddy has let her down again. If DHs ExW doesn't want DD to have contact then you have just played right into her hands

[Whatmeworry]

Is it too early for a bugger?

Bumsex only on Fridays, after the wine......

[BeeBread]

"It's unfair on DD as her day will undoubtedly be shit and boring. Unfair to expect me to look after her while he sleeps. Unfair on his ex to pick DD up from me, I'm sure I'm the last person she wants to be civil to."

...then...

"I adore DSD and have always made sure that I am off work on the days she comes over".

Can you not see the inconsistency, OP? If you adore DSD, why is it unfair for your DH to ask you to look after her for an hour (or, shock horror, two)? Surely you are capable of looking after her alone and making sure that her time with you is not shit and boring?

You have done yourself absolutely no favours with your OP. You are moaning in AIBU about looking after your step-daughter for a one-off, just an hour or so. You are suggesting that you will be doing the minimum while she is with you, with the result that her time will be shit and boring.

How can you possibly be surprised that you are being berated? It is shoddy behaviour. Poor DSD.

[ConstanceNoring]

Thank you

OP is looking after DSD until 1pm, then she will have an extra 2 day visit next week.

[BupcakesandCunting]

Constance there are only two things you need to know about the A-Rooo threads:

We like Wolf fleeces. A LOT.
We like Whitesnake. A LOT.

[BupcakesandCunting]

Have I missed something? OP isn't looking after DSD, then?

[ConstanceNoring]

[ConstanceNoring]

What ever floats your boat Sue

[SuePurblybilt]

I'm scared of posting cos I am on the Aroooo threads.

Is it too early for a bugger?

[Lotkinsgonecurly]

YABU. you could've had a really nice time with her this morning. Either taken her out for a few hours or just stayed in and had a quiet craft morning whilst dh slept.

[ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin]

'It does seem that she is a damn sight more reasonable than you lot tho. He has spoken to her and she will be picking her up at 1pm and we will be having her an extra 2 days next week. There was no anger coming from her, she was totally understanding and felt it wouldn't be fair on DD if he couldn't keep his eyes open.'

I do that you know, smile and stay calm and reasonable when the shit hits the fan. Because I love my children and my anger and arguing would distress them. Rarely because I give a flying fuck about the adult causing the problem.

[SenoritaViva]

But you ARE off work so what is the point of making up imaginary scenarios to make yourself reasonable?

I am glad his DD understood but I think you are getting an early morning roasting because of your attitude to looking after his DD. I think you need to reevaluate that a little bit.

[BupcakesandCunting]

Oh cripes, I hadn't factored in Time Zone differences. I'm going to need another column on my spreadsheet...

[aldiwhore]

OP you initial thread DOES read like you're a spoilt princess really, but that's probably not the case.

I'd bend over backwards to make things work in any way they could, THAT is what can make the difference between a happy amicable ex and a monster (doesn't always work though)... a day with your stepchild could actually be quite nice don't you think?

Lack of sleep sucks, but its not the child's fault. Support your partner by making life easier and saying 'you sleep, we'll go have some fun together, don't worry'.

Or maybe I'm a sucker.

[ConstanceNoring]

[squeakytoy]

Can we allow for time zone differences

[Bonsoir]

You cannot cancel contact at short notice. Don't be ridiculous.

[BupcakesandCunting]

I AM on the A-Roooo threads and I still don't get it.

[BupcakesandCunting]

Eh? Wha?