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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop my 10 year old from playing Call of Duty?

64 replies

2kidsandcats · 12/08/2011 20:10

The game is 15 rating. My husband let him play it once, and I felt very uncomfortable about it.It is 'just' shooting, and my dh argues it's 'just like cowboys and indians', or pretend gun games that boys play. We've 'compromised' and let him play a 12 game that uses guns. When my ds is on x-box you can see what games his friends are playing remotely - and I'm pretty shocked that many of them are playing Call of Duty - and worse, and some of these kids are from the kind of families you wouldn't expect to be so lax.

So am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
chirpchirp · 12/08/2011 20:15

YANBU, actually I think Call of Duty is a 17+ game but I may have that wrong. Is he playing it on line too?

Original poster
2kidsandcats · 12/08/2011 20:17

No, I don't let him play CoD, but yes he does play other games with people he knows in RL. is this bad do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
2kidsandcats · 12/08/2011 20:20

No, I don't let him play CoD, but yes he does play other games with people he knows in RL. is this bad do you think?

OP posts:
TalkinPeace2 · 12/08/2011 20:21

it is BANNED in this house
and DS is BANNED from going round to friends who have it (he is 10)

LordOfTheFlies · 12/08/2011 20:21

We let our DS 11.6 play up to 15 rating fantasy games.

I thought C.O.D. was an 18 Confused
He plays his X-Box in the front room.

He always claims his mates play C.O.D. but I've asked the parents and found out only 1 does.
I'm sure he will 'try it on' but we have to trust him and let other parents know what he can and can't play.

I'm not lax, I try to make sure he knows right from wrong.But every generation is the same I reckon. I saw an X rated (18) film before I was 18. Blush

frownieface · 12/08/2011 20:22

Would you let your ds watch a 15 rated film?

yanbu

robotlollypopman · 12/08/2011 20:23

It's actually rated 18. Would you let him watch a film rated 18? He shouldn't be playing it. Perhaps if more parents took responsibility for this sort of thing, the media wouldn't blame video games for all society's ills.

catgirl1976 · 12/08/2011 20:24

I wouldn't let a 10 year old play it myself, so IMO YANBU. I bet my DH wouldn't bat an eyelid and would take the same view as yours, but it would be something I would put my foot down on.

gastonscave · 12/08/2011 20:26

It's so difficult to always be the one saying no. My ds who's 10 wanted to play Halo, as everyone else at school does Confused.

My dh brought it for him for his birthday and once again I'm evil mum as I've said no way.

I too have had the argument that's it's only a shot em up, and apparently you can turn off the blood!! Like that makes it alright

squeakytoy · 12/08/2011 20:26

I think it is the sort of thing that you decide individually depending on the maturity of your own child.

TalkinPeace2 · 12/08/2011 20:29

"Everyone else at school does"
have you actually stood and talked to the Mums - in front of the children - you'll find that "everyone" rapidly diminshes to those with much older brothers or young stepdads
and THEY start to enforce rules when they click what is going on

Pandemoniaa · 12/08/2011 20:31

There's always been stuff that "everyone else" was allowed to do. In reality, nowhere near as many "everyones" are, in fact, doing whatever "it" is so stick to your guns. I've seen the effect of COD on a couple of 10 year olds and personally, I'd ban it too!

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 12/08/2011 20:31

Himself has boys of 15 and 14, they were playing CoD at 7 and 8 years old. It IS rated 18. It is awful, incredibly violent and lots of "die mother fucker" :-(
I would never let a 10 yo play it. I'm sure that it WOULDN'T affect the 10 yo but to me it is more the principle. It is rated 18 for a reason.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 12/08/2011 20:32

I do take it on board that I am biased in that I wasn't allowed to watch Grange Hill when I was 13 Grin

Marne · 12/08/2011 20:33

I agree with squeakytoy, it depends on the child, my step son has always played these games but is sensible and can switch off from from the game and return to reality but theres no way i would let my dd who has Aspergers and thinks everything is real go near a game like that ever.

thefirstmrsrochester · 12/08/2011 20:33

I'm astounded by the number of primary school kids who are allowed to play these games - we dont have an x-box as my ds would whinge endlessly about getting Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto and the likes - he is 11. I just know that he goes to friends houses and plays there (even gets to play it at his aunts house and she is a primary school head teacher!)

YANBU to say no.

crazygracieuk · 12/08/2011 20:34

My 10 year old hates me because I won't allow CoD either. My problem is that dh thinks that it's ok- especially as most of his friends play it. Ds knows that dh and I disagree on this but my feelings on this are so strong that dh is towing the same line on this.

I am actually a games developer so I have seen worse and think that adults should be allowed to play violent games. I don't mind ds playing a 12 but my gut says a 10 year old playing an 18 is not right and that I don't want to make him grow up too soon. Ds's friends think that I am too strict but if I relent on this then I feel that when ds uses the argument that everyone else smokes weed/has sex etc then he'll expect us to cave in.

BabeRuthless · 12/08/2011 20:39

I see both sides of this as me and DP are both avid gamers & nothing winds us up more than when games are blamed for every single massacre/riot/murder etc.

On the other hand DS is shaping up to be quite the gamer himself. At the moment it's all about Mario Kart (he's only 4 1/2) but I can see CoD coming up down the line.

The problem I have with CoD is that its gone from being a really good game where the violence was secondary to the story & justified in the context to being a game that's a victim of it's own success. It's the biggest game of the year & now has a lot of rivals so now they're all trying to outdo each other with the violence. It seems to me that they've put shocking bits in almost as an add on. It's annoying because I love games & there's so much more to them than teenage boys staying up till 2am shooting each other but because of CoD this is the impression people get of them.

In short, you're right to not let him play it. I certainly won't be letting DS play it before he's of age. Its annoying that it's marketed towards teenagers & younger but, speaking as a gamer, you're right to stand your ground. The buck stops with us.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 12/08/2011 20:39

I've not come up against this yet, as ds is only 3. However DH got CoD for Christmas last year, and I was pretty shocked at how violent and nasty it is. I refused to be in the room on the only occasion I saw him play it. I find it disturbing. I'm no prude, but the language coupled with the aggression and graphic killing made me really uncomfortable.

Maryz · 12/08/2011 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
2kidsandcats · 12/08/2011 21:50

Thanks for this everyone. I feel stronger after reading your posts. My ds wants to read them too - and I will let him to prove I'm not the only strict mum out there!

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 12/08/2011 21:55

I think it's an 18 too.

Definitely don't think you're being unreasonable. I'm a teacher and am often being told the gory details of CoD by 9 and 10 year old boys who were playing it in their rooms till midnight. Totally disagree with it and think it's terrible.

DoMeDon · 12/08/2011 22:00

Anyone who thinks exposing a child to violence - even fantasy violence- has no effect on them is deluded. It probably won't turn them into a psycho-killer atop the school tower but it absolutley will desensitize them. Children are developing empathy, a really hard thing for them to do anyway, and this just makes it harder. being a parent is setting boundaries - fail to do it and you are failing your DC. They want/need and crave boundaries.

TheSkiingGardener · 12/08/2011 22:05

No way in hades. The research is very clear around exposure to violence and desensitisation, as well as children struggling to truly separate the messages they are getting from games and from real life. Why would anyone want to expose a young child to this sort of violence and these values.

TalkinPeace2 · 12/08/2011 22:16

Where do we wall think the attitudes that make it OK to burn down a fancy dress shop because a gangster somewhere else got shot come from?

Time more parents picked up their responsibilities as well as their rights.

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