Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

1 2

AIBU?

I've done it again!

42 replies

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 20:38

Son is autistic HF, and spends loads of time on his own fishing and golfing and I so want him to have friends. He's spent so many holidays on his own on golf course and fishheries but he gets on well with the adults. He is kind of older than his years. He has been suicidal recently and that is now lifting thank goodness. He's been suicidal before and I have to manage it until he can cope again.

A couple of nights ago I let his friends have a sleep over in the back garden. Set up a DIY marquee and then individual tents underneath, a very much hotch potch job in a small garden. They "get him" and he's known them for years.

Now I've allowed them another sleepover in tents tonight.

Am I barking? Over indulging the sleepovers? The kids like me and have even offered to let me stay outside with them. I am not into that at all but will sleep downstairs. I'm not fond of insects and things that can crawl up your nose as you sleep.

But then when my son tells me I am the best Mum in the world I think to hell with it let him be happy.

Am I a soft touch?

OP posts:

Report

AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 13:42

Lucyinthepie · 03/08/2011 09:27

I disagree. Op was confrontational by straight off telling the man that he was being unreasonable and basically telling him he had to put up with it. What is wrong with having a bit of consideration for neighbours? All she had to do, straight off, was apologise and turn off the light. Then he wouldn't have got angry with her. There were other ways to provide a bit of light for the campers. Now the night has been ruined because of her attitude to the neighbour and his reaction to her. To then leave the light on even after she had brought everyone indoors was unreasonable and petty in the extreme.
The adults in this are both as bad as each other, but the reason the camp-out was ruined by Op's behaviour.

InFlames · 03/08/2011 09:02

YANBU- jeez it's just a light. Why a grumpy git. Hope your boys still enjoyed their night and Mr Light Policeman stayed away.

BeerTricksPotter · 03/08/2011 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:44

We are all now in the lounge I've started another thread saying "I've just been threatened". I've left the security light on to make them feel safer.

OAP has just knocked the door basically saying turn off the security light, or I will be back and you wont like the consequences. The security light lights up my garden but slightly lights up the garages at the back, to be a nuisance you would have to be looking out of your window.

I suggested he stopped being ridiculous and closed his curtains, he says no it is a hot night, if it isnt' switched off he will be back at 3 am and there will be consequences that I don't like. One child woke up and heard it, he was scared.

I've got all three children inside the house crashing in the lounge so far have left the security light on out of pure defiance but will turn it off at 2 then call the police in the morning.

AIBU?

OP posts:

duchesse · 02/08/2011 23:49

As long as you check they're not smuggling in vodka and willing girls then of course YANBU!! Sounds lovely in fact.

WilsonFrickett · 02/08/2011 23:43

Feck, suddenly realises Mitmoo doesn't have a clue who I am as name changed. But I was all over the weekend camping thread

WilsonFrickett · 02/08/2011 23:42

Now Mitmoo you were anxious at the weekend about sleepover #1 and it all went perfectly. These are halcyon days for you too. Please try and not worry - let it flow for both of you. It's good.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 02/08/2011 23:35

I raise you taking 9..yes 9 teens camping tomorrow

My son has autism and learning diffs..never any friends... he is friendly in his way but can't access 'normal' friendships. So we adapt.. tomorrow we go to a special needs camp out with all my teens (4) and 3 of their friends and while my son won't have friends of his own he will be with 30+ other families who GET him, with whom he is at ease and I will see him happy and relaxed:) (we have all known each other for years )

I think that whatever you can do that helps our kids connect with others in a relaxed happy way is worth it.

The two lads sounds fabulous btw...

Sounds a bit twee but the highs when something goes RIGHT are so fantastic they make up a bit for the times that having autism just sucks...

MittzyTheVixen · 02/08/2011 23:13

How lovely Mitmoo, I have been through similar, with DS, the last year has seen streams of kids, but particularly a couple of them as regular visitors, in and out of my home.

I get a bit 'crowded' and not always coping with it but let it go because having also had him as suicidal and self harming, seeing anything from 3/4 to about 9 kids crammed into his tiny bedroom is just about all the reward I need for the previous 4/5 yrs of hell ,

I am too chicken to do the tenty sleepovers though! So big kudos to you

blackeyedsusan · 02/08/2011 23:06

those two sound like gold. hang on to them.

you sound a fantastic mum.

thornrose · 02/08/2011 23:04

I bet it's a lovely sight, and the lovely sound of your son laughing.

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 22:40

thornthis is years in the making, Ive invited them for swimming, days out, parties (that my son has hated) kept my door open, had them for tea, took them to parks, and two have stuck around and stuck up for my son.

My son has two out of loads who support him, but those two are real gems. He has been bullied so badly it is just brilliant to see him laugh with friends.

OP posts:

thornrose · 02/08/2011 22:25

Mitmoo, you have given me hope that one day my dd will meet friends who take her as she is, and come for a sleepover.
I do everything in my power to encourage my AS dd to have a social life, including a couple of disastrous sleepovers.
And Inflames, you are so right, well done the other boys' parents who have raised children who are so accepting of differences.

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 22:21

They have now ventured back into the garden and their tents. And they haven't fallen out yet! YAYAYAYAY

OP posts:

InFlames · 02/08/2011 22:19

Indeed!! Lovely tho to have that friendship after what sounds like an awful timefor DS and for you. Their mum's should be as proud as you should for raising such thoughtful lads.

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 21:48

thanks inflames

The wimps have come in to play on Xbox! Some campers.

OP posts:

InFlames · 02/08/2011 21:25

Sound like you're doing the right things, in a tough situation - enjoy the laughter :-)

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 21:12

He has been mercilessly bullied mumbling had to leave two schools, one primary and one secondary, when you find these jewels of children who think "we'll take you as you are and support you as you are, even though sometimes you drive me mad" I do believe they have to be cherised.

I think life improves for children with autism the more support they get, the more understanding they get, and if they can find other children who get them who stick around.

Trouble comes when the people who are supposed to support them don''t agree, my ex has put son of taking his meds telling him he shouldn't be on them at his age so he stopped. Cue suicide notes and an attempt, again.

I get "what kind of letters have they given him this time" but he wont talk to the specialists or get informed on OCD and ASD. It's not as if I put him on medications on a whim.

Sorry I digress, they are now off the trampoline and have listened that the 9 pm is the time for quiet time.

I bet they're telling each other ghost stories as we type.

OP posts:

MumblingRagDoll · 02/08/2011 21:05

I'm so glad they get him...it can be tough for the kids who don't have others who understand them...are there no sort of teenage clubs for Autistic kids...HF or otherwise?

My 7 year old DD is close friends with a little girl who is Autistic ....I often wonder how it will pan out as the years pass but I can't imagine them not being frends as they also "get" one another on many levels... Whilst my DD has no kiind of diagnosis atm she does seem as though she' might be on the spectrum in some ways....but then so do I so that might figure!

As these things are more understood, life will get easier I hope for those people who live with Autism.

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 21:03

emma this is a novelty, I couldn't see this coming. Up until now it has been fishing and golfing, it's lovely to hear laughter.

OP posts:

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 21:02

The little beggars had me in tears last week as they cleared out my garden knowing I was suffering with anxiety, now they've taken it over and turned it into Glastonbury on a miniature scale.

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

emmanumber3 · 02/08/2011 20:59

Well done - you are just being a lovely mum. I wish my ASD 13 year old had friends who he would feel comfortable inviting home for a sleepover.

Whatmeworry · 02/08/2011 20:58

Sleepover+Summer+Tents+Garden+Soft Mum = child happiness.

Marsmallows over a fire complete it....

tethersend · 02/08/2011 20:58

Unflip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.