I am overthinking present giving etiquette yes alright it's a Christmas thread shut up

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I can't help it, my DD's daycare sent home a toy catalogue today.

Anyway. Here's the thing, I think my DD has too many toys, and I don't think she has nearly the amount a lot of kids have. So maybe I'm projecting. BUT. My SIL, for example, has two girls 18 months apart. The elder is a similar age to my DD, we've always exchanged gifts for them, fine. The younger will be 9 months old at Christmas. I realised today that I probably should buy for both, but I only really want to buy for the elder. Not because of money, but because, well, won't the younger already have all the elder's now-outgrown toys to play with already?

What I do is, every year I go through after Christmas and put away a) half her new stash to be brought out during the year, and b) anything she's outgrown but is still in good condition. So I'm thinking that for DC2 I'll just bring out that year's toys, which will be new to them, for the first few years.

So will those people who buy presents for DD1 also buy presents for #2 from the getgo? Which means I will end up with a spiralling stash of crap? Should I be doing that with my SIL and others, so they also end up with a spiralling stash of crap? I do realise that once the kids are older they'll have separate instincts and hobbies and need separate presents, but surely for the preschool set it's madness?

[SusanneLinder]

Put the catalogue down, and pick it up again in October, and in the meantime go and get a very LARGE glass of wine!!!

[LaWeasel]

Am I being unbelievably lazy?

Also have a baby due right at christmas. Was kind of pondering just buying absolutely everyone bar DD vouchers...

[breatheslowly]

I think it is important for the older one to see that the younger one receives presents too. Otherwise they will perceive the toys as theirs and may be unwilling to share as the younger one has nothing to share with them in return.

As a younger child I remember my DB attempting to take my new calculator off me and give me his old one as I didn't need the better one in his opinion. My DF had to explain to him that I got new things too.

Clothes wouldn't be a bad thing to get though as your nieces will be out of sync in terms of season. But I would think that both should have clothes rather than one getting a toy and the other clothes.

Would you ever want your younger niece to know that you had bought something for her sister but not for her?

[halcyondays]

YABVU to consider giving presents to the older child but not the younger. If you think they have too many toys buy them a book or something.

[SusanneLinder]

I think YABVU to even be talking aboyt the C word in July

[EdithWeston]

I'm the youngest of my siblings and would have hated to have missed out on all the fun of unwrapping!

You don't have to give crap: try books (give the younger something that's new out for the younger age group, so they're unlikely to have it already), clothes (I just loved being given a new jersey one Christmas, as I'd had a particularly grim year on the hand-me-downs), or things that get used up and therefore don't contribute to the permanent mountain - arts and crafts materials, special bubble bath etc.