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AIBU?

to ask my neighbours to remove this plant?

38 replies

AKMD · 25/07/2011 15:43

My neighbours have a huge lilly which has just come into bloom. It's in their back garden right next to the shared path to our garages. Last night I had to go backwards and forwards unpacking the car from a weekend away and afterwards was wheezing so badly that I had to have the maximum 6 puffs of my inhaler (I have asthma) before my breathing was anywhere near udner control. If that hadn't worked, the next step would have been a 999 call for an ambulance and a hospital trip. Fast-forward to today... I've just opened the windows at the back of my house and I'm already wheezing! AIBU to nicely ask my neighbours if they could take the plant inside or get rid of it? I would get them a nice non-killer replacement plant if that would help.

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StayingNearlyHeadlessNicksGirl · 25/07/2011 17:16

Make sure you get a good lungful of the lily pollen so you are wheezing like a grampus, and then go next door and ask your neighbours to move the lilies. It is in a pot, so I can't imagine they'd object anyway, but if they did, the sight of you so ill ought to prick their consciences.

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/07/2011 17:01

Is it a stargazer lily? They trigger DH's asthma, although other varieties of lilies don't. (And they're my favourite too.)

ViolaTricolor · 25/07/2011 17:00

Lilies make me wheeze terribly even though I don't have asthma, so I'm not surprised they can have this effect on you. Just ask very nicely. I'd be appalled if one of my neighbours was suffering in silence because of a plant.

Hassled · 25/07/2011 16:54

My asthmatic DS3 reacts badly to lilies - they're certainly a trigger. Just go and ask. If they say no you need to google lily-poison and then find an upstairs window or somewhere to pour the poison on from.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 25/07/2011 16:51

Oh, poor you!

I think if they can move it elsewhere it is not unreasonable to ask and if it were me, I'd move it (I love lilies, but would prefer not to poison my neighbours!).

However, I do think you need to work out as best you can if it'll be ok once moved further away/if you'd object to other plants too. They may feel worried that if they move this and you don't like/react badly to something else, they'll be obliged to move that too. Can you make it clear it's not all flower pollen that's at issue, just lilies? Or is it really any pollen you would react to?

Ephiny · 25/07/2011 16:50

Oh it's in a pot - definitely not unreasonable to ask then. I was imagining they'd have to dig it out and replant, possibly damaging it (though I think you could still at least politely ask in that situation).

Not sure how big their garden is, but maybe they could move it to a different part so at least it's not right outside your windows? The only way is to talk to them and see if you can work something out. If they're nice/reasonable people, I'm sure they'll be willing to cooperate, and won't want to be causing you such problems.

AKMD · 25/07/2011 16:43

spiderpig it isn't just walking to the garage, it is having my windows open (in the summer!) and playing in the garden with DS (no parks nearby).

Durham maybe he is trying to tell me something!

OP posts:

spiderpig8 · 25/07/2011 16:39

If it's only in a pot fair enough, if it was in the ground i wouldn't ask becasue you could avoid walking to the garage for a week or so couldn't you?

AKMD · 25/07/2011 16:32

I'm absolutely sure it's the lilly. I haven't had an asthma attack in nearly 4 years, have been fine all day at work and when I came home but was wheezing 2 minutes after I had opened the back windows. You can actually smell the lilly inside the house.

:o at SoupDragon's violent ideas!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 25/07/2011 16:29

Chop down something

Bloody autocorrect.

SoupDragon · 25/07/2011 16:28

Its in a pot! it's not like you're asking them to chop down someone :) Go for it.
I would be happy to move it if it were mine.

ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 25/07/2011 16:24

Certainly you ask them to move it - it is only a plant fgs!

(I would be tempted to suggest more direct action towards the roots/bulbs/corms but I would get rightly flamed for that )

alice15 · 25/07/2011 16:22

I'm a vet; lilies are very toxic to cats. Agree that removing the stamens would help you, but maybe you could use the cat's welfare as a conversation starter?

DurhamDurham · 25/07/2011 16:22

I do take antihistamines and lillies don't usually affect me too badly - DH sometimes buys them to have in the house and I've never had a problem before.

I'm shocked that your dh brings lillies home for the house if they affect you even a little bit!

Ephiny · 25/07/2011 16:20

Are you sure it was the lily that caused your asthma attack, and it wasn't just a coincidence? Not suggesting you go and stand next to it again to check! Just wondering as you said you'd been ok previously with lilies in the house, and it does sound a bit alarming that one plant in next door's garden could cause such a bad reaction to someone just walking past!

If you think it is, then YANBU to explain to the neighbour and ask politely if there's anything they can do. If it was my garden, I'd be willing to move it in that situation - asthma is a serious thing so it's more than a minor annoyance to you.

blackeyedsusan · 25/07/2011 16:16

you could ask them to remove the stamens...

InFlames · 25/07/2011 16:16

Agree with the 'ask nicely, buy thank
You present'. Maybe see asthma nurse for antihistamine if they really really won't move it?

valiumredhead · 25/07/2011 16:14

Lilies only last 5 mins, it'll be dead before you know it!

Ormirian · 25/07/2011 16:12

COuld they move the plant to the other side of the garden?

GreenEyesandHam · 25/07/2011 16:10

I love my garden, but I wouldn't hesitate to move something that was bothering a neighbour in this way.

Wormshuffler · 25/07/2011 16:09

Pootles has a good point there, I pull the pollen peices out myself on cut lillies to prevent staining, if you get them just as the flower is opening before they are powdery that would illiminate the problem.

AKMD · 25/07/2011 16:05

DogsBestFriend he does get cross with the local cats but he wouldn't seriously wish them dead. The softy stopped his car and physically moved a cat that refused to budge from the middle of the access road to the garage a few weeks ago :)

It has 10 flowers that I can count. Stripping the stamens might well help, good thinking. I do take antihistamines and lillies don't usually affect me too badly - DH sometimes buys them to have in the house and I've never had a problem before.

If the situations were reversed, I would certainly move the plant for my neighbour.

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ouryve · 25/07/2011 16:05

If I was your neighbour and you asked me nicely, I would move the plant for you. Honeysuckle and lilac have my eyes and nose streaming to the point that I feel really ill and can't do anything - I think people who don't suffer from allergies sometimes find it hard to appreciate just how uncomfortable (and even dangerous for some people) they are.

jenniec79 · 25/07/2011 16:05

YANBU to ask, you would be U to insist. Talk to them.

I'm not asthmatic, but I do get sniffly around lillies (shame cos I love them) so I can see how they can affect you so badly.

ChristinedePizan · 25/07/2011 16:02

I am a very keen gardener and if one of my plants was causing my neighbour to have a near asthma attack I would be very happy to move it, even if it weren't in a pot

Yes lilies aren't great for cats but most cats don't eat them :o

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