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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go cold turkry with the dummy

39 replies

mtw · 21/07/2011 02:41

She's 4.5 Only has it at night. Loves it so much. We have been talking about saying good bye to it for months now and the time finally came. She is not taking it well. It has been 3 nights, Normally she goes off to bed great, but now there is tears and she is coming into my room at night and getting very upset. I could give in - but then what?? We had a big deal saying goodbye to it and she got a gift for being a big girl but now she wants to give the gift back and just have her dummy back. Should i stick to my guns or relent and give it to her. Has anyone had experience of this and when will she accept that is has gone??

OP posts:

Henwelly · 21/07/2011 10:28

Dont give it back - you've done so well!!

It took a few nights with DS, whenever he got upset at night I used to say "well ok we wil take the gift back and go to Sainsburys tomorrow and buy some more as they are all in the bin, so just snuggle down and try and get some sleep"

Then the following night I just said "Oh no we forgot to get some more - lets go tomorrow" and this went on for a couple of nights until he stopped asking!

ErnesttheBavarian · 21/07/2011 11:06

why do people do it? Because being addicted to a dummy can and often does cause tooth damage, can, and often does cause problems when it gets lost, is babyish and at some point needs to be dropped. I don't think 4.5 is that young, and indeed in terms of dummy use, is comparatively old.

I don't consider myself to ba either sadistic or masochistic btw, but v. glad I finally got the guts to do away with dd dummy, before she turned 3.

ewaczarlie · 21/07/2011 12:11

oh god i know this is all infront of me. DS is 2 and obssessed with dummy but only at home (nursery he goes without apart from naps and is ok). i know its just us and we are taking the easy way out but i'm so not looking forward to this. I've set myself the task that we'll do it over the xmas break when we're off work (and can handle the tears better). I know that once we start we wont go back as he;s a cunning little man and at the 1st hint of weakness he takes charge.
so my advice (obviously not based on experience yet) is stick with it and dont give in

CurrySpice · 21/07/2011 12:17

Stick with it. Don't give in. It'll be quicker than you think

And ewaczarlie - do it now

ScarletOHaHa · 21/07/2011 12:25

finish what you have started.

As you have already spent three nights saying no, all of those tears and upset would be pointless.

4.5 is too old for MY child to have had a dummy - each to their own though.

azazello · 21/07/2011 12:27

We've just done this with DD who I didn't think would manage it (She's just 4 and loved her dummy). She put the dummies in an envelope and we sent them to her new baby cousin because they rae really for babies. She cried the first night so I said I'd go and have a look and see if we had any more in the house which we had forgotten to post. She was asleep 5 minutes later. That worked the second night as well, and then she was happy enough to be reminded that she had managed to fall asleep on her own and didn't need it any more.

Her sleep still isn't quite as good as it was, but she has also stopped playgroup for the term so is generally not as tired but otherwise we're back to normal after 5 nights.

apprenticemum · 21/07/2011 12:45

As they say on mastermind, I've started so I'll finish. We chose Christmas with DD's bedtime dummy, explaining that santa took all used dummies for the baby reindeer to keep them happy while their parents were out delivering presents. The dummy went on the plate with the mince pie and drink. she got a special present and note of thanks from santa.Though she did ask for it for quite a while after, we simply reminded her of where it had gone and she eventually accepted that it could not be brought back. Don't do the climb in bed with me bit as life will be hell trying to get her back into her own bed. I'm afraid this is the first of many lessons she will have to learn but as I'm sure you know, it won't scar her for life. Good luck, keep it up

cheekeymonkey · 21/07/2011 12:59

Ahh, that's exactly the same as we did on DD's 3rd birthday (which is Christmas) apprenticemum.

It was soo sweet and she revelled in telling the children at nursery that the baby reindeers had her dummies.

I threw all her away immediately so that I couldn't weaken.

Maybe sometimes it is us that weakens easier than the child?

Also found any dribbling problems stopped as soon as dummy not used anymore, which shows it was damaging to her mouth I believe.

iwanttoseethezoo · 21/07/2011 13:40

Watching this thread with interest as my daughter is 4.2 and still has a dummy at night. And sometimes in the day too, as she is a cunning little monkey and seems to have a hidden stash of them... at the moment my main strategy is to keep them out of her mouth during the day, and not to worry about night. I KNOW she is old to have one, blah blah blah, but with three children, one under two, it's not really been a priority to take it away. I think i'm hoping that one by one they will all break and I'm certainly not buying any more.

Saying that, OP, after three nights you must be through the worst of it so I would press on now!

Original poster

mtw · 21/07/2011 16:21

great responses - thanks you ALL.
It was night 3 last night and I am still pressing ahead with it. Was a bit better - did stay in her own bed. She did cry and was very upset going to bed.
I believe i am doing the right thing..........still its SO bloody hard.....

OP posts:

Original poster

mtw · 21/07/2011 16:24

iwanttoseethezoo - I also have 3 kids - she is my middle one, it also has not been a top priorty to get rid of the dummy , with a baby and an older one it just was easy to let it go, needless to say, my youngest who is 2 does NOT have a dummy and we never gave one to him - lesson learned...

OP posts:

shakey1500 · 21/07/2011 17:16

We were incredibly lucky in that when ds was 10months old he had a terrible cold, couldn't breathe through his nose so had to breathe through his mouth. Used the opportunity to ditch dummy An option perhaps? What with the millionth flu bug doing the rounds? Obviously not wishing a terrible bout

Sorry, not much use!

Original poster

mtw · 22/07/2011 13:31

day 5! some tears last
night and she is still sad about it, but not asking for it - but not sleeping thru........

OP posts:

Witchofthenorth · 22/07/2011 16:16

You will both get there :) good luck for tonight, hope she is less sad.

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