...to consider yr 4 pupil missing 15mins end of each day for this reason

[NineteenForever]

DS10 due to change to comprehensive sept 2012. He has ASD and we truly hope he gets a place at a suitable school about half an hour away. He will be elligible for a taxi. DH is a SAHD and is concerned that the return of the taxi from comprehesive, when school closes at 3, will mean he is at the primary school collecting DD who will be 8 and yr 4 in sept 2012.

Would it be unreasonable for DD to miss 15 mins at end of each day so he can be at home to meet taxi? What will this do from an educational point of view?

There is an option to pay for an after school club @ £30 a week, possibly ask after school club to let DD stay for 1 hr instead of 2.5hrs.

The other concern is that if she is at the after school club, her own homework will have to be done late evening eg 6.30 when she's knackered (and this school sends home a lot of homework in yr2 alone).

Just to confirm, DS is at the primary school in a special unit and they know our family.

Comments welcome

[manicinsomniac]

sorry, that was to fabbychic

[pozzled]

It woiuld be very disruptive for both your DD and the school. I would look at all the alternatives suggested above.

If your daughter were to attend the after school club she would almost certainly be able to do (or at least start) her homework there. Most after school clubs can provide a reasonably quiet corner and pens, pencils etc.

[FabbyChic]

There has always been peadophiles! In the form of those professing to love god and worship him. I see the news.

[sleepysox]

Should clarify what I said, in case meaning is not clear- the word 'paedophile' wasn't used in the past, yet they existed and people suffered because of them. Just because there wasn't a word for something, doesn't mean it didn't exist.

[Pixel]

Anyway Fabbychic, the taxi driver wouldn't leave the child unless there was someone at home to hand him over to so giving him a key wouldn't be an option from that point of view.

[sleepysox]

Sorry, I'm lost now. I don't understand how paedophiles are people who 'love God and worship Him'. Unless I've missed something related to this in the news recently.

Just because a condition didn't have a name doesn't make it less serious for the person with the condition, or mean they're able to 'manage'.

[fgaaagh]

I don't think our school would allow this at all (although it's never cropped up - just a feeling).

I wouldn't consider proposing it as an option until all of manicinsomniac's sugestions have been exhausted, tbh. I really don't think missing 15mins of one of the more important bits of the day is acceptable (saying goodbye to people, "wrapping up" of the day, etc) and I would worry about disrupting the other pupils.

[proudfoot]

I think YABU to disrupt the class and take your DD out early every day and I doubt the school would agree to it.

Taxi dropping at school sounds a great suggestion!

[ChunkyPickle]

In a similar situation I walked 20mins to school and back alone from a younger age - but that was in a village, and the only big road had a lollipop lady so it may not be appropriate in your circumstance.

The taxi (which passed right by my school) couldn't drop me off because of insurance apparently.

[BoysintheHood]

OP, I really sympathise with your situation, having dealt with a similar one for 3 years and will have to again in September.

Here's what I have had to deal with:

1. Theres no way my son who had ASD would be able to let himself in and look after himself for any length of time.
   
2. Even if he could, the bus escort wouldn't allow it. A parent must collect him from the bus.
   
3. The transport dept. are not in the slightest bit flexible re. drop off points/altering routes etc
   
4. DS2's school have a hissy fit when he had to be late each morning (our problem was with pick up times, our future difficulties will be at hometime).
   5)DS2's school will not tolerate him being collected early.
   
5. Other mums aren't always exactly thrilled at dropping off/collecting your child for you every day. You only have to read threads on here to figure that out. One offs, yes. Everyday, no. Quite frankly, I don't blame them, there is always problems when illness occurs/ grandparents are picking up for the day/circumstances change etc.
   
6. Not everyone can afford breakfast/afterschool clubs.
   
   It's a nightmare. While I agree that taking your DD out of school early isn't ideal, if the school agree, you may not have a choice. I really hope you find a workable solution though.

[snippywoo2]

office staff often stay on for at least 45 mins after the school has closed if not longer could you not ask the school if your son could sit in the foyer of the school in view of the office staff and have his taxi collect him a short time later so his dad will be back at home when he arrives. I'm sure they wouldnt mind and this would solve the problem all round.

[Bogeyface]

There's taxis and then there's taxis.

A little boy up the road gets a "taxi" too and from school that is actually a minibus with about 8 other kids in it by the time it gets here and room for more so I assume he isnt the first drop off.

i would be finding out more info on the arrangments before making a decision. You could perhaps do the after school club for the first couple of weeks to see what time your DS actually gets home and go from there.

[Morloth]

How far away is the school? Couldn't the 8 year old walk home by herself?

[FuzzpigFourFiveSix]

I think it should be avoided if possible - as well as DD missing out on the last few minutes and disrupting the rest of the class, it will also make her stick out like a sore thumb. Children don't want to be different usually, and she might get teased or be worried about her classmates' opinions. She may end up resenting her brother because of it.

[mumnotmachine]

Your DDs day should not be disrupted because of DSs travel arrangement- will lead to resentment.

Also the drop off at primary school should not be encouraged either- if that is the "official" drop off point what happens if DD is ill/inset day etc and not in school?
If the school is drop off point then DD would need to be dragged out if ill which again is unfiar, and you cant expect the taxi to drop off at different point for convenience.

I would go either for after school club, or see if someonre could walk DD home. Its still a year away though, and very difficult to make arrangements so far in advance

[missmapp]

I work 4 days a week and ds1 doesnt get home from CM til 5.45, we still get reading and homework done.

[ewaczarlie]

i think others have already made most of the right suggestions. Additionally, any way that DS could be dropped off earlier that way DD's schooling wouldnt be affected? sorry best i could do with no experience

[NineteenForever]

Thanks very much for all your points and suggestions:

1. DS10 is not toilet trained - absolutely could not be in house on own (ran off twice- police scrambling helicopter on one occasion)
   
2. DD will be 8 and a half in a year but certainly not a school she could walk home from.
   
3. thanks for your opinions on disrupting class etc, just the feedback I needed. son's current teacher (in ASD unit) didnt see any problem with DD leaving early but did say to see how long taxi took to get home.
   
4. After school club will be £130 a month- but it's possible she could go for an hour, we could look into it.
   

5.DH could do round trip in car but would probably cost the £130 a month in petrol!

1. would not want or be able to get family or friends to give DD a lift home every night- as people have said, that's a tall order and one for a one-off in case of emergencies.
   

I do appreciate your comments -any more, I'm all ears.

[Lindax]

dd will be able to go to afterschool club for as long as you need whether it be 2 mins or the full session. The problem is the way these (normally) work is you pay for the full session regardless of how much you use as they need the staff ratio for the number of children at the start of the session.

[NineteenForever]

Thank you for pointing that out, Lindax. As you can imagine, i just feel a bit agrieved that this 'bill' comes about just because our son has special needs. We know that we will work this out, and i'm fortunate DH is a SAHD so we havent both got jobs to worry about.

[youarekidding]

I would definatly speak to after school club about fees. I'm a LP and only need pick up on 3 days - so essentially minibus ride back but no snack and not there long enough to participate in activities. They charge me solely for the minibus ride on those days and the full fees on the other 2 days even though I collect him no longer than an hour after they return.

[chocolateyclur]

If I were you, I would look into other alternatives. I used to work in a support team in school and worked with a girl who had the same issue - she needed to leave with her sister and miss the last 15 mins a day. "On paper" it sounded like nothing - but doing the maths, 5 days a week = 75 minutes - over an hour of school a week. It also caused the families some difficulties with education welfare, and the girl some issues with classmates because they saw it as "preferential" - even though obviously the circumstances were anything but.

[Pixel]

"Also the drop off at primary school should not be encouraged either- if that is the "official" drop off point what happens if DD is ill/inset day etc and not in school? "
Was never a problem with us as long as we let the taxi driver know in good time, and we had his mobile number. He had other kids to drop off so he would just drop ds off at home afterwards.