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AIBU?

or is nursery

72 replies

vickibee · 14/07/2011 18:16

Ds4 starts school in Sept. The 5th is Inset so I informed nursey that he would be attending on 5th and this would be his last day. My contract says i have to giv a month's notice of leaving. The nursey have said no as it is the stat of a new term and they are full up with new starters. Surely this is wrong and i am entitled to this day if I wish, thay have made an assumption that he will have already left. Ny law he could stay unil Jan 12

OP posts:

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whatsallthehullaballoo · 16/07/2011 16:46

Well said Mellowcat.

mellowcat · 16/07/2011 08:52

I manage a private day nursery and we do not allow children who are going to school to stay beyond 31 August. This is made clear in the nursery contract. We prefer them to leave at least a week earlier so that they can have a rest before starting school - it's nothing to do with money or filling places.

I realise the headache this might cause some parents but it is a really important transition which imho needs a clear ending, a break and then an exciting new start.

purepurple · 16/07/2011 07:51

Oh, and day nurseries do work to term times as this is when the funding starts.

purepurple · 16/07/2011 07:50

From a nursery viewpoint, we have been chasing parents for weeks, trying to find out their plans for the summer and starting school.
We have sent letters and put it in the newsletter and still have yet to hear from some of them.
We have to look a couple of months ahead all the time, to ensure that we have places filled to pay the staff's wages.
If the 5th is an inset day, then the term starts on the 4th and it is possible that the nursery has filled the place already with children in the younger room. Our pre-school is full most days in September already. However, we do have the odd child stay until they are full-time at school, as long as we have the room.
I think YABU to just assume the nursery will hold his place without speaking to them first.

TheOriginalFAB · 16/07/2011 07:41

From both of you.

vickibee · 16/07/2011 07:25

After lengthy discussions the nursery manager has conceded that she made a wrong assumpton and is allowing him to attend (reluctantly) Feels like a hollow victory - hata any form of conflict and this situation should not have arisen with correct communication and procedures.

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 14/07/2011 23:26

possibly not and if she had given them exactly one months notice on 5th August then they presumably would have had to honour the contract and offer him the place. But she didn't and so they were on notice that she was expecting something they had reallocated (IYSWIM).

She may find if she sweet-talks the manager they can find a solution for her.

TidyDancer · 14/07/2011 23:02

What swings this for me is the probability that had the OP not mentioned to the daycare that her DS would need that last day's attendance, the daycare themselves would not have specifically given the one month's notice.

Kewcumber · 14/07/2011 22:53

"A private nursery is a business."

I think this is the nub of the problem, OP is treating daycare like its part of her DS's extended family and feeling hurt that they have washed their hands of him so promptly and moved on. She has said that she is upset that he will be leaving "on bad terms". The bad news is that the nursery truly is a business and although no doubt there will be individual carers who will be fond of her son and sad to see him go, the business entity and the decision makers within it have no feelings on the matter at all.

They may have made a hasty assumption about exactly what date you were leaving but you aren't "entitled" to anything except the service you pay for which you are both entitled to terminate on one months notice. Do you think they would be "upset" if you gave notice to take him out in mid-August rahter than leaving him straight up to school?

jetgirl · 14/07/2011 22:42

The more I think about this, the more I think nursery are being unreasonable. They should not have assumed anything about last days, they should have waited until you told them, and you have given them plenty of notice. You are perfectly entitled to continue using such childcare once your child has started school up until the age of 5. Our nursery even does school pick ups and drop offs until children are 5. It really helps with the transition especially for those who have been there for 4 years or so. Funding doesn't apply, so parents have to pay for the childcare.

Oh well. Enjoy the Inset day. Make it a special day before your DS starts school

Blurry29 · 14/07/2011 22:23

yep all the time............I thought it was better to come on here rather than doing it in RL but I can tangled even more on here lol :)

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/07/2011 22:22

Yes please :). Do you ever do that, get yourself embroiled in an argument and then suddenly think wtf am I doing??

I'm going for a lie down...

Blurry29 · 14/07/2011 22:20

I have no idea Gwendoline..............do you want a ?

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/07/2011 22:18

Blurry, the child is going to daycare right through August. He's not going back for a day once he's finished, the 5th is his last day.

God, it's not my kid, why do I even care!

Blurry29 · 14/07/2011 22:13

Would his daycare know about inset days etc?.. If all they know is that the new school year starts on the 5 Sept then all children of school age starting school would no longer be registered at day care.... I agree it is never good for any business to assume anything but I do also think that OP could have been a little bit more aware of the school dates etc :)

cate16 · 14/07/2011 22:11

Well we stagger the intake of our young pre-schoolers- so we'd be happy to take an 'oldie' for a day or two if the need arose, as long as the parent knew it would be fully paid for and not a funded session. It's good to have someone that knows the settings routines and can role-model for the newbies!

TidyDancer · 14/07/2011 22:09

I don't disagree Blurry, I just think this all could've been avoided if the daycare didn't assume that the OP's DS was leaving when he wasn't.

Blurry29 · 14/07/2011 22:04

Apologies, then I will re-phrase...Daycare........... OP did state nursery which is why I went with that term

A business is a business.........they can't book a slot for one day surely if that child is now of school age and would technically be registerd with a new primary and not DAYCARE???

Yes by law as stated in the OP the DS could stay at nursery until Jan 12, however, has he been registered to attend primary school??? then the nursery wouldn't be assuming anything as it would have been requested that they send assessments records and observations onto new school???

There must have been communications between parent and daycare as to the DS starting school this year etc....

again this isn't an assumption as I know each loacal authority is different with regards to dates etc......

I just feel that the OP should have been more aware of new schools start dates etc then DAYCARE wouldn't be getting the blame

TidyDancer · 14/07/2011 21:55

Blurry, it's not a nursery, it's a daycare. There's a distinct difference. If it was a nursery, I'd agree with you.

pigletmania · 14/07/2011 21:55

YABU its only one day, I am sure that you can book one day off, anyway your going to be with your ds, good to spend quality time with him and preparing him for school.

Blurry29 · 14/07/2011 21:54

I am afraid to say it but UABU.........

Nursery is not BU...........

your nursery had every right to decline your request whether they are private or not............

Come Sept your DS was no longer on there books as he was of school age etc etc etc really you should have been more aware of inset days etc so you could book the time off

They had every right to book another child into his slot.....it is business after all

Book a day's holiday...stop moaning...and enjoy one last day with your DS before he becomes a big boy at school

TidyDancer · 14/07/2011 21:48

I think the crucial thing here is that we're not talking about a classic nursery, but a daycare which, as Gwen pointed out, do not work to the academic year like other care providers do.

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Bitdifferent · 14/07/2011 21:26

Nursery is being unreasonable. Hate the way people are so rude to you. You've been using a private nursery not state funded and are entitled to keep your child there as long as you want. My Dd1 s nursery had new school starters doing half days for ages as they had funny start times. Totally feel for you. I take it you're like me & don't have all your huge family able to look after your child whilst the school is shut for loads of days a year when you need to be at work. Do they have a before & after school club which runs in the holidays? Ours does and is open for odd onset days, election days (check the school isn't a polling station!) too. They may be able to help and be a fun day at dcs new school. Hope you get sorted. Goodluck!

HSMM · 14/07/2011 21:22

I am a CM, but I check with parents what term their child will start school and the exact date. I can't believe they filled the space before you even gave notice! I am hoping that they overheard a conversation that your DS was starting school in September and filled the space from the start of term, but that's still not on!

ashamedandconfused · 14/07/2011 21:09

OP - they must have known he's going to school in september, you must have previously told them he will be staying on till he starts school, they are not BU to assume this means he will not be with them from the first day of the school term.

Its your mistake, not realising sooner about the INSET day.

If they made assumptions, so did you.

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