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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset about this...

11 replies

Aliway · 04/07/2011 20:45

Went to a taster day to meet other new class members with my 4.2y ds it will be a Sept 2011 reception class. His headteacher asked me; "does your son like fighting?" his soon to be reception teacher was playing with puppets with him and he was getting very excited with the crocodile and shark one... I did'nt know what to say, he hadn't done anything to any other children, I was keeping a close eye on him at all times feel a bit perturbed by it

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 04/07/2011 20:47

its a bit odd,but why are you upset??

AgentZigzag · 04/07/2011 20:51

It is a weird thing to be saying.

Tiffany, I presume the OPs upset because she thinks the school is labelling her DS as a fighter before he's even fucking started!

MissBetsyTrotwood · 04/07/2011 20:54

What perturbs you? That it was an odd thing to say as smalltalk? That you feel the head teacher may have been casting aspersions about your son's character during his play in the puppet game? That may have labelled him as a troublemaker?

I'm sure the head teacher was just trying to be jovial and meant nothing by it but it came across all wrong. I'd try not to worry about it - his new teacher will have seen that his behaviour with all the other children was fine. And, most importantly, it sounds as though your DS had a good time!

squeakytoy · 04/07/2011 20:55

what exactly do you mean by "getting excited"? was he behaving boisterously with them? simulating them fighting?

ScarletOHaHa · 04/07/2011 20:57

I would have said yes. Crocodiles and sharks are fierce carnivores. Mad thing for headmaster to say. What are you supposed to do with that information?

We limit the TV he watched but he still LOVES Star Wars. He will play fight with other boys. I do talk to him about it, given a free reign he would spend 12 hours a day like a power ranger.

Original poster

Aliway · 04/07/2011 20:57

ILoveTIFFANY- my dh said the same thing funnily enough I suppose I am a bit upset because, its not like saying "does your son like cricket/football/karate etc". first impressions count I suppose ...

OP posts:

MissBetsyTrotwood · 04/07/2011 21:00

Yes, I know what you mean about first impressions but the head teacher will soon meet, and regularly, the pupils at their school who really do like a fight. And if your DS isn't one of them, they'll soon forget what they first thought about him if that's what they thought.

Original poster

Aliway · 04/07/2011 21:06

In fairness, when ds joins in role play he really gets into it and enjoys talking in a funny voice , opening and shutting his mouth like a shark would etc...jumping up and down. I think I was just caught a bit on the back foot a bit, in all honesty given a chance he would get into rough and tumble but I aim and try to be very observant and watch for cues that play is or could be going in the wrong direction, I think that agentzigzag hit it on the head; the headmistress thinks he is one of those "naughty boys"...

OP posts:

SmethwickBelle · 04/07/2011 21:06

Don't worry, so many children they won't be remembering every conversation, it was probably polite chit chat, and I am sure they're not expecting the behaviour on these intro days to reflect their full personalities.

I was kicking myself on Friday at DS1's intro day (he's not four til next week but starts in Sept too (so young, sob)...

I said to his teacher "he's a good kid but he's got a lot of energy and is quite a chameleon, if other people are jumping off the walls he will too", and then thought oh crap I've just done him down there, she'll be waiting for him to play up. So then I trilled on how good he is at writing his name. Somewhat unconvincingly I imagine.

Original poster

Aliway · 04/07/2011 21:08

or I could be seriously oversensitive (have just read my last statement and cringed a bit...

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 04/07/2011 21:12

You hope for children so young the school is coming in from the angle of loving the children for who they are and trying to encourage their strengths, not looking for 'troublemakers'.

Hopefully it was just a gaff on the HTs part, but even that would worry me if they think it was OK small talk to a new parent.

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