Ok, we were at a local garden centre yesterday. We went there deliberately because they have a new softplay in with the cafe. The frame takes up to 30 kids (according to the notice) and it is surrounded by perspex, around the edge of which are cafe tables. There are 3 chairs in the entrance of this play area/frame. presumably are which for parents of very young users.
Yesterday, we arrived with our 2 DDs aged 6 and 3. We sat outside of the perspex area next to the door and in full view of the frame. Our kids were the only ones in the play frame for ages. They are good kids and there has never been any complaints about them ever in all the years we've been going to softplays. I have watched them closely over this time and they only ever seem to be the ones getting hit/pushed/chased by others - if at all. When this has occurred, I've had a quiet word with the kid who was hitting/pushing or simply told my kids to stay away from the kid who is hitting/pushing - even at times I've suggested they invite him or her to play with them instead of pushing etc. If my kids are ever out of line whether we are at home or out, then they get warned once and after that we leave. I do NOT tolerate my kids pushing/hitting etc other kids, end of.
So yesterday. my kids had been playing nicely for ages, when another family came into the playplace. I had already told my oldest DD she could not swing on the ropes if another child came in as she's knocked both her sister and a smaller child over in previous weeks by her swinging. Not at all on purpose, but still, accidents can be avoided with a bit of forethought, I always think!
A while later, after this family arrived, this chav guy appears demanding to know if those are my kids in the frame because they are "bullying" his baby. My hackles go right up - my kids are in the shit BIG time if they are doing this and I charge into the perpex area with the express intention of sorting this out with them. But do I get the chance? NO - because Mrs Chav starts laying into me the second I appear through the perspex door. Why am I not watching every move they make? What kind of slack arsed parent am I? My (tiny 13kg) 3 year old who has a dummy to sleep, wears nappies for bed and who regularly poos her pants - in short, she's small and immature for her age - has pushed their 2 year old twice (NOT acceptable at all, I know, and I was so ready to pull DD out of there and tell her what for!). What's more, my sensible 6 year old has asked their 2 year old for a password to go into the ball pit. I roasted her about this later but she said although she asked this question, the password had been whatever the little girl had said and that she'd no way stop her going into the ball pit.
The thing is, they rail at us for 20 minutes or so, telling me NOT to take my kids home, it's my fault for not watching their every move, why should I punish them, when I'm the rubbish mother aren't I etc etc. At this point, we're thinking we have to get our kids and ourselves away from these two crazies, because they were really wigging out. She starts mimicking me - her husband looms in threateningly. I just want to say, stop it you mentalists! I'll sort my kids out and discipline them accordingly for their transgressions, but this is not enough for them. They want to make things personal, to mock, to mimic, to scorn, she's waving her hands about, mimicking my husband and I having a chat over coffee etc in a scary and unhinged manner - in short, the security guard came in the end and I was glad. It was like some crazed nightmare.
End of the day, my kids needed a quiet word and an apology/hug to the little girl in question/ That was all. They have been hit/kicked/pushed a thousand times at these places and I would never dream of launching an unhinged attack on their parents. You just say to the kids, "Oi - be NICE!! End of. You don't even have to involve their parents.
Please note that their 2 yo was non-plussed and not remotely distressed by my renegade DD's behaviour. Still, not the point.
The point was my kids upset another kid. They needed a telling off. I was going to give that. However, rather than allow me to do so, the parents of this other kid, railed at me for 20 minutes. I ended up telling them that if they behaved like that when their kids started school, they'd end up having fights on the playground and that they jolly well needed to calm down alot and behave like adults.
AIBU?
AIBU to think that this couple were psycho crazies ???
Thruaglassdarkly · 28/06/2011 02:39
YANBU. I would be upset they had done that to my children probably, but if you seem apologetic and dealt with it, well, no harm done. All children kick up a bit every now and then don't they? 
Bast I'm sorry to hear that you have been through a terrible time, but still yu are wrong to suggest that the OP shouldn't have a coffee break just because you never do
Thanks Bast 
- you too. Yes, open spaces fill me with terror with two if I'm on my own with them! Again, if you have tips to make that experience less stressful, would love to hear. Now I'm really "Hover Parent" BIG time in parks and the like. I'm the one stalking behind them, periodically barking their names and insisting they stay near to me - Funtime Mummy, yeah! And at toddler groups I never let DD out of my sight for a minute tbh. Just, I give them a bit more independance at soft play cos of the logistics and because it's enclosed so they can't escape. My oldest is pretty sensible, but the young one would break free at the first opportunity still...
I rarely attend the bloody places!
(Soft play, not garden centres. I love garden centres.)
Of course, open spaces are a risky alternative with so many of them to keep an eye on!
Your last posting makes perfect sense (to me at least, for what it's worth!). You come across as very considerate (and rather vigilant too!
).
Sorry, obviously, suicide and cancer took my family. X had an affair.
What's respite?
Thru, thanks to suicide, cancer and affairs, I was on my own with four under six. Having no one to turn to for 5 minutes to yourself ever can be quite difficult
However, in the evenings, sometimes, I have a break. The rest of the time, I'm mainly parenting.
...and I think your OP goes to show that not everyone else is having a coffee break whilst your kids play, even if you are.
Oh and Bast - any ideas for a break greatfully received when you have no family to call on for a bit of a respite and can't afford babysitters more than a couple of times a year. I must admit, everyone else at the places near me seems to be enjoying a coffee break whilst their kids play...
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