to restrict how much my DC eat?

[Ormirian]

In particular the eldest 2 who are 12 and 14 and, not to be put too fine a point on it, are getting a little chubby?

Over the years we had got into bad food habits - too many packets of crisps and biscuits so about 5 years ago DH and I put a stop to it. The new rule was that the only thing they could help themselves without asking was fruit -assuming it waan't just before a meal. Otherwise they had to ask and could have fruit, wm toast, a sandwich, cheese, cereal, if hungry. Now that the older ones gets themselves home from school before DH and I they can help themselves. After dinner they might have some sort of pud - fruit, a piece of cake, ice-cream. And if hungry later a snack as well. Junk food such as we have in the house is kept to a minimum.

Problem is that they will eat endlessly. It might be reasonably good stuff but they eat heaps of it! I must get through a big box of cornflakes and/or weetabix a week and probably 6k of apples and bananas, monster amounts of cheese and enough bread to feed an army! Apart from anything else we are a bit short of money atm and I can't afford to keep going back to the shops every day. And of course there is the chubby children issue - I tried to explain to DD last night that whilst an apple and cheese are good for you they still contains calories along with the vit c and protein and there is a finite amount you need in a day!

I know they are growing children and they need their food but surely there is a limit to how much they need?

Help!

[Laquitar]

Good point there about drinking water.

[Ormirian]

Quite agree mochan.

[MoChan]

WRT the low carb thing: I think children do need carbs, but not as many as most people seem to think they do. I think you have to keep a balance. I don't think a meal consisting of entirely carbs (pasta with pesto, say) is good at every meal, though I do sometimes serve those kind of meals. I just try to maintain a good balance. But I think that the diet industry has skewed our notion of what a good balance is, and I think that in the past, health professionals didn't get it right either, labouring the benefits of low-fat, etc, and I think we generally need to re-educate ourselves in this regard.

[mummytime]

I would look at making sure there are lots of apples (but restricting other fruit), encourage them to drink more water, and eat complex carbs. Cakes with wholemeal flour etc. (and fewer cakes, more bread).

Maybe they are not drinking enough?
Also could you get them to only eat when they are sitting at the table? So they are not thoughtlessly grazing whilst watching TV etc? Also try making them eat slower, and have gaps between eating, to give their stomachs a chance to register being full.
Maybe you can set it as a family challenge.

My DS is starving when he gets in, but then he often doesn't eat even his packed lunch. So if I've provided one I often get him to eat it at home.

Oh also are they drinking a lot of milk? (Or worse fizzy drinks?)

[Ormirian]

"I would also get advice as to whether your preference for a low carb high protein diet would be appropriate for them"

I am not encouraging them to eat a low-carb diet! I have bread, cereal and fruit in the house. I only said I am not entirely convinced by the school of thought that things that carbs are the best and healthiest thing for hungry growing children.

cory -that's it! I think what they eat is OK - I really do. I just think they eat too much of it. I was happy for a long time with the idea that allowing them moderately free-rein in a kitchen full of good food was OK. I am having to come to the conclusion that it isn't as I didn't take into account the fact that they can eat so MUCH. The fruit bowl on a Monday morning looks just as if a party of monster locusts have passed through our house....

[Cat98]

I don't actually think snacks are bad as long as they are healthy. It is better for our bodies to 'graze' - eat little and often. I wouldn't restrict food intake, just the type of food. Get strict, chuck out all the junk. Keep a variety of healtthy food in the house, if they are hungry they can have some but not just before a meal obviously. Cheese - I agree, cut off a limited amount for the kids for a week, say, and once it's gone it's gone. Just my opinion - I just think we have to be careful not letting children eat if they are hungry. And I agree with the focus being on some kind of exercise too.

[cory]

I don't think exercise is always the only answer. My db has always been very active; he has also been overweight since his teens. Imo the reason is that he got into the habit of eating massive portions, three as much as any adult should need. I have seen him come straight from lunch (three large helpings) and walk into a house where somebody else was having lunch and on being invited sit down and have another lunch. He simply had no idea of portion control. His partner is working hard on this.

My parents provided healthy food, but even healthy food will stick to your ribs if you eat enough of it, and I think they were afraid of giving him food issues by telling him to stop eating.

[NotJoiningIn]

I just wanted to say that I wish my parents had instilled healthy eating, non-snacking habits in me as a teenager. I am six stone overweight, mostly because I had no idea of moderation when I left home. I struggle with hunger and snack all day. I am desperately trying to change this before DD is old enough to be the same. I think getting home from school is the only time when they need to snack!

[sassyTHEFIRST]

I do think that most kids arrive home from school STARVING and can't easily wait until 6/7pm for a meal. Especially if they have a packed lunch.

Would a substantial snack (say 2 slices peanut butter and sliced banana on toast) for each keep their noses out of the trough biscuit barrel til tea? Then I agree, a good meal, fruit or yog after if they want and no evening snacks.

[mummytime]

Teenagers do eat massively, they are also growing. I would also get advice as to whether your preference for a low carb high protein diet would be appropriate for them. I would be looking at making sure they have high wholemeal carb available (wholemeal bread etc.)
Also are they eating properly at school? I know one of mine doesn't which is why he is always starving at home. At junior school he ate a proper meal, now he skips food as he has better things to do with his time. If so could they cook themselves some pasta? Or could you have some pasta salad or similar waiting for them to feed themselves on when they get home?
We have also got the inactive one of mine to walk the long way to school (minor bribery, he can keep the bus fare money if he doesn't use it for buses), and having a family trip to the swimming pool.

[borderslass]

I have stopped letting DS[ASD] who is nearly 17 snacking all the time as his new meds can effect weight and he'd put quite a lot on in a short space of time, he has started eating fruit again which I don't have a problem with he is now losing this weight thankfully. His biggest problem was bread with cup-a-soups first thing he went for after he gets home from school as he is usually starving by then, he can still have the soup just not with all the bread.

[CheerfulYank]

I need to start doing this with my DS, who's not quite four! He wants to eat all the time! I did put things in a "snack drawer" so that he could choose his own when it was snack time, but now he wants to get things from it all the time. And he flips out an hour before dinner or so "I'm hungry! I need a snack!" I agree with Sidge (I think she was the one who said it anyway :) ) that we seem to have forgotten that it's okay to be hungry every now and then.

[bigTillyMint]

Orm, it will be really hard to change their routines now - eurochick said what I was about to say - after providing snack -after-snack-after-snack when they were toddlers, I got them into the current routine. Obviously if we are out / friends offer, etc, they have extra treats, but the routine is 3 meals a day with a snack after school. However, I only have a 12 yo DD and a DS of 10 1/2, so no hulking 14yo boys yet!

Do they understand about levels of activity to use up the calories? I know for a fact if mine weren't doing the hours and hours of sport, they would be well flubby Could you say things like "if you eat that chocolate bar as an extra, you need to do a half-hour run to burn it off" at least to the 14yo?

[eurochick]

The snack box should not include what you need for their lunchboxes!

I suspect the mothers who don't do snacks have always done it that way. It must be easier if that is all they know than trying to introduce a new regime after many years.

[dyzzidi]

As a child i did not have snacks just three meals a day. Could you maybe have a huge bag of porridge oats for them to make porridge as another poster says or even do the old dieters trick of soup. Make a huge vat of veg soup which will keep for the week put lentils,barley or beans in to bulk it out and keep it in the fridge. If they are hungry tell them to microwave a mug of it. Healthy, low calories filling and cheap!

[bellavita]

Are they thirsty rather than hungry? Tell them to get a glass of water...

What about buying a huge bag of porridge oats, if they are hungry tell them to make porridge

[Ormirian]

8 and 14yr old are boys. 12yr old is DD.

Problem is that if I say 'when it's gone its' gone!' that means there is nothing left for lunch boxes either. It's also unfair on 8yr old who doesn't help himself.

I am now thoroughly pissed off. 'Can I have an apple?' 'No!' 'Please' ' No!' 'Pleeeeease I'm starving!' 'Noooo!' 'Please, just one apple...' 'Raaaaaarrgggh!'

All of you bloody perfect mothers who 'don't do snacks' please come and explain that to my kids.... please.

[bellavita]

Orm I think at that age you cannot really police what they eat - mine are 14 and nearly 12, and always hungry.

I would do a weekly shop and then that is it till the next week. If they eat everything in one go then so be it.

[ZZZenAgain]

boys or girls Ormirian?

[Ormirian]

I am currently working/MNing and growling at the DC whenever they ask for food. It's like batting away bluebottles.

I am fed up with being the fucking gatekeeper for everything in this house! Raaaahhhhhh!

[fuzzpigFriday]

Marking place for later. Food is such a freaking MINEFIELD! Especially when children and teens are involved... And money, and time, and... one of my DSDs is a hardcore grazer, she's 13, and it's complicated as she is only here at weekends so different rules etc... Looking forward to reading the thread later.

Although today I ran my first session of a cooking course for parents and it went perfectly :o (sorry that's rather irrelevant just wanted to throw that in...)

[minipie]

I was never allowed to help myself as a child - always had to ask - even when I was a teenager.

It's entirely right that you, as their parent, should decide how much and what they get to eat. I doubt there is any danger of them starving if they get 3 meals a day.

[pengymum]

:o eating the dog!

I'm with you on that letThereBeCake - all this snacking IS an invention by food manufacturers, aided and abetted by the media. It's so that they can sell all these 'added value' products: snack bars, crisps, cakes etc! Loadsamoney!

And we have all fallen for it hook, line and sinker! (Don't get me wrong, my family is as just as bad!) And the adverts that tell us we should be snacking at every opportunity! Everyone eats on the go too, which doesn't help matters!

Look at the average shopping basket today and compare it with say 20 - 30 years ago!

At the DC's school gates at pick up time, the majority of parents come armed with food of some type or another BUT we have a pretty small catchment area and most of these kids live between 10 -15 mins walk away max! You would think that surely they could wait till they get home to eat? I got grief from mine as I didn't bring anything to eat (we only live a hop, skip and jump away!) and insisted that they finish the contents of their lunchbox if they were really hungry.

Anyway back to the topic in hand: filling meals and lots of strenuous activity may be the answer. The majority of snacking in our household is down to boredom.
(hmm can't seem to get embarrassed smiley to work...)

[LetThereBeCake]

I think the whole concept of snacking got invented by food manufacturers in the seventies. I didn't have any snacks as a kid, just three square meals. When I got bigger we had afternoon tea at 4pm, when we had a cup of tea and a couple of slices of bread and butter and some biscuits or scones.

I never give my children snacks between meals. I'm bemused at parents laden with foodstuffs to put in their children's mouths two hours after the last meal.

[Ormirian]

chestnut - any ideas for making my 12 and 14 yr old exercise gratefully received. I did wonder about installing a treadmill that powers the X-Box - might do the trick .