To think that if you are out with a four year old you need to ASK them if they need the loo?

[Wallace]

Ds (age 4) was out with dh for the day. Dh has been complaining that he wet himself (ds that is, not dh) and he had to go and buy him a change of clothes.

I mentioned that dh should have been asking him if he needed the loo, not just expecting a four year old to ask in time when they are out having fun in an unfamiliar environment. Dh had reckoned that he should have just asked if he needed to go. Now ds usually would ask, but they were somewhere where dh would have been very busy with other people so mybe not very easy for ds just to ask.

Also dh says ds was really badly bahved and phrased it as if this was my fault. He mostly always behaves when he is out with me....

[Fernier]

I would expect my four year old to ask BUT I would probably Ask him if it seemed like a very long time since he last went. Your dh is being ridiculous if he blames you.

[joric]

Ahh he's only 4! They need guiding, reminding, coaxing, showing, bribing(!) telling....!!! My DP used to talk to my DD as if she were the same age as him ( which would be 12 in developmental years lol!)

[foreverondiet]

I think depends on child.

DS1 is 5, and have to ask as he doesn't care if he wets himself. DD even at that age would have been horrified to wet herself and would have said she needed.

That being said if we are out and I see a toilet I usually remind then, even if just out with DD.

[pigletmania]

You do definitely, and take them there too. Before we go out i even ask dh to go before , the mummy in me is coming out.

[joric]

Ha! I always check my DP hasn't got his shirt sticking out of his trouser zip before he goes to work OMG :D

[MumblingRagDoll]

You have to ask. I sometimes ask my year old if we're busy...especially just before we go home!

[NorksAkimbo]

I am amazed at the number of you who have to ask your DCs if they need the loo...I have two DCs, 5 and 3.5...and they know where every darn public toilet is within a 50 mile radius of home...it's the first thing they want to do when they get somewhere (or at a completely inconvenient time during our outing). It drives us crazy!! :)

[joric]

Better safe than sorry :)

[theyoungvisiter]

I don't remind my 4 year old - and he usually asks - but I do tend to notice if he needs the loo badly. He starts hopping around and looking anguished.

OTOH I certainly wouldn't blame the child (or my other half ) if there was an accident.

Quite surprised at all the people on here who do ask! I would have thought by 4 they could tell you and hold it in while you found a toilet, but I guess it depends on the child and their bladder

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I don't even ask, I just take her. If we're out for the day then every so often I will march to the loos under the guise of me wanting to go.

At home I don't mention it, she's more than capable at 3.5 to take herself off to the loo.

[jugglingmug]

Wouldnt need to ask DD (4), she is of the 'new place, exciting new toilet' school of thought. However, she does occasionally wwet herself at home if she gets absorbed in a game. That's not naughty IMO, it's a sign she's good at concentrating and knows she won't get in big trouble for an accident.

[cupofteaplease]

It would depend on the child, but no, my children did/do not need reminding at 4. They ask to go.

[shuffleballchange]

My nearly 6 year old DS needs constant reminders to go the loo. He woke me at 1am one night last week as he wet the bed (for only the 2nd time in his life), DH had got him ready for bed and not reminded him to go the loo, DS then tells me he had not been since the previous lunchtime I am constantly nagging him to go the loo, playing is far more fun! Accidents do happen though, best not to make a fuss, while I was bleary eyed stripping his bed at 1am, DS was building rocket out of lego, then got back in his nice fresh bed and went back to sleep while I lay awake for over an hour, after nudging DH sharply in the ribs a few times..............well, it was his fault after all!

[mousymouse]

wallace you dh needs to get out with the ds more so that he (your) dh can read the signals.
my ds is pretty good wrt going when he needs to, but before we go on a longish journey and before bed we have to take him to the toilet. he wouldn't go if he doesn't feel the urge at the time.

[GreenTeapot]

Hi Wallace (it's E, with T and I )

DS is definitely at risk of wetting himself if he's distracted. Even at home, if he's outside engrossed in wrecking stuff "gardening" he'll sometimes come in hopping having left it a bit late. I don't anticipate this improving drastically any time soon. So if we're out and about he definitely needs prompted and taken at reasonable intervals. Small children have much more important things to do than worry about where the toilet is. So of course YANBU :)

As for the behaviour thing, I wouldn't know - DS is usually angelic for DP no matter how much of a hellchild he's been with me

[Wallace]

Hello GreenTeapot - I was worried you were going to read this.. you could quite easily spill the beans about how badly behaved ds2 really is. Not to mention breaking of light-sabres As for your ds - he is an angel :)

In the end dh didn't moan at me about ds when he got home (he had sounded like he was going to moan when I phoned). He said what fun ds2 had.

[GreenTeapot]

Tsk, he's not badly behaved! Kids of their age are boisterous - DP recently came home with two foam swords so no breakages next time

[Wallace]

[whackamole]

YANBU, and I would say boys seem to need more prompts than girls.