AIBU in adoring DS's lovely teacher whose eyes filled with tears when DS and I told her about the death of the hamster

[pretentiouswasteoftime]

Our little hammie died last night totally unexpectedly so we are very sad today. DS was keen that I let his teacher know this morning. We told her and DS shed a few tears, she just welled up and spoke about her daughter's hamster who they were all very fond of and who had died some weeks ago.

She didn't make DS go into the playground with the other children before school but took him off to "help" her get some things ready for the day and said he could be her " special helper" which DS loved.

When I collected DS this afternoon she came out with him holding a book called "Dragonflies" which is for talking about death to children. She said we could borrow it for as long as we wanted. She told me that DS has done some work about loss today and been encouraged to talk about his feelings. This apparently helped all the class as they recalled pets they had loved and lost or loved ones.

Just so grateful DS is in the school he is as they are all just fantastic there. And DS's teacher is wonderful with him (he has ASD and ADHD). DS is just coming to the end of Y3 and has another couple of years yet in this supportive school. I am so glad.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

she sounds lovely :)


dh and i havei kept hammies since we have lived together (13yrs) and i bawl when one of mine dies - dh digs a hole for them in our garden and i know when our next one dies - prob within 6mths i will howl as dh isnt alive to dig a hole now and losing a hammy will totally set me off :(

planting a bush sounds lovely

[KaraStarbuckThrace]

That is fantastic, they were going down hill when me and my brothers attended (I left in 1991, they left in 1996).

[pretentiouswasteoftime]

St A is now DLS and has a S**t hot head teacher who has turned it round from a failing school to oversubscribed over the past 5 years.

[KaraStarbuckThrace]

Way before then, I joined in 1981 at the infants (we moved to the area when I was 6, from London) and went to Senior school (I went to what was St A but is now called L, I think) in 1986.
Mr F may have still been HT when your niece was there but I have a feeling he may have retired by then.

[pretentiouswasteoftime]

What years were you there Kara, all my nieces went there too. Eldest is now 22.

[KaraStarbuckThrace]

OMG that is where I went to school :)

[pretentiouswasteoftime]

Oh am happy to "big it up". It's SAL (RC) School, they are lovely there. DS has thrived since joining the Junior school.

[KaraStarbuckThrace]

OOh which school? I grew up in Laindon but went to schools in Basildon.

Just put initials I will probably figure it out.

The teacher sounded lovely and kind :) And not not over-emotional, she was empathising!!

[Flisspaps]

Was just thinking the same thing happywheezer

[happywheezer]

It's nice to hear a good story about a teacher for once.

[Odinsthunder]

and BTW Basildon is GREAT!!!!!!

[TidyDancer]

I think the teacher sounds lovely, and I would be thrilled if either of my DC's were lucky enough to be taught by her! :)

Sorry about the little hammy passing. :(

[Odinsthunder]

of course not! :)
it just shows that she is passionate about her job- that's what makes a good teacher!

[piprabbit]

Basildon's not so bad.

[pretentiouswasteoftime]

The school is in Basildon - that oh so wonderful part of Essex.

[pretentiouswasteoftime]

For anyone doubting the teacher....

DS who was barely scraping National Curriculum Level 1 last year (actually still on P Scales) has achieved Level 2a tbhis year. He has jumped 5 points up the scale when children normally go up one point a year. This is down to excellent teaching, a Statment of SEN to help him access the curriculum and medication for his ADHD. Without a doubt the excellent teaching is the key.

She was not over emotional yesterday - just a bit moist eyed when she talked about how they'd all adored her daughter's hamster. They dealt with it very well and my son and his friend who had lost a cat were able to talk about their loss along with other children. It was handled well and sensitively and I think it was brilliant. Cannot believe anyone would "worry" about a school which takes such excellent care of their pupils feelings and emotions in this way.

... and some of you ARE just heartless wenches

[wonderlands]

Perhaps the friends who didn't quite understand the sadness of seeing our children losing potentially their very first pet do not themselves have pets. I imagine it is difficult to fathom to non pet owners. For me, I regretably cannot have pets due to very allergic husband (no, will not trade husband for hamster!!)
Lovely reading and great teacher - did make me feel a little sad but all perfectly as it should be. It's all a useful experience I guess. xx

[skybluepearl]

what a lovely teacher. mine's not bad either!

[fuzzpigFriday]

She sounds brilliant. And I think changing the day to fit it was a great idea, it seemed to benefit lots of children. I'm very much in favour of giving children some autonomy in their learning, and even though this wasn't exactly chosen by your upset DS, it shows the teacher is following their needs and not just blindly sticking to the NC.

[RubberDuck]

Aw that's lovely. Not in the same league I know but I still adore ds1's old teacher, who when ds1 needed to have glasses, made it a point to bring her glasses to school rather than wear contacts the rest of that week so he felt better about wearing his.

[stleger]

I hope she never has to read Dogger - I find it so sad! She sounds a lovely teacher. My dd2 had a teacher who said 'Pull yourself together' when a child was weeping about parents separating and let someone else off homework when their dog died which dd2 was a bit about.

[emptyshell]

I know one school with a class hamster who always wakes up and sits and watches their phonics lessons. He's an educated hamster - he knows s a t i p n (and I forget the next set of Jolly Phonics sounds off the top of my head)!

And kids are usually fascinated by the idea teachers have pets too - and always disgustingly interested in the logistical ideas about how I have a three-legged cat (they're convinced I'm the one who personally did the amputation). I'd have shown empathy - but wouldn't have allowed full-blown wallowing in it all day - it's striking that balance because you do have some kids who'd still be using it as an excuse not to go out on the playground come year 6 - seriously I've had "Miss can I stay inside this playtime I'm feeling sad because my hamster died," shown a load of concern and sympathy then found out it died three years ago and Jenny tries this one every time there's a supply teacher in and it's a little bit cold out!

[superjobeespecs]

ah what a nice teacher :) she sounds smart and practical

[Mamaz0n]

Ds also has ASD and ADHD. his amazing teacher told me that DS had been talking to him about moving to high school (it is a SN school and so most of his class will be going to the same Sn high school) but his best friend will be going elsewhere.

Ds Cried that he would miss his friend. DS is not a particularly emotional lad and is very much a "boy"
It made my eyes sting to think of him so upset and his teacher also had a bit of a watery eye just telling me.

I think it was lovely. it showed how deeply he cared for my DS and how comfortable DS must be with him that he felt it ok to cry.

Ignore those saying the teacher was being silly.

[ashamedandconfused]

some people are being a bit harsh on the teacher. FGS, she didn't go running off in tears and have to be sent home. she showed basic human empathy towards a child in her care, and was reliving her own family's loss, and went on to rejig the day to take this situation into account in a way which helped this child and probably others cope with learning about death. Fantastic.

what would you prefer - she says to the parent i cant talk now make an appointment. Or tuts and says tough, we leave our home lives at the door - get inside and get ready for your spelling test.