to live happily without sex?

[redwineformethanks]

In an extremely happy long-term relationship, very amicable, DP is fantastic partner and father in every way, we have excellent communication etc, but it just happens there's not much going on in the bedroom - in fact, nothing for a while now. This used to bother me a little but now I think we're just both out of the habit and don't really miss it. I'm OK with this although I do worry a little when I think that it's not the same for other people.

Should I just enjoy my relationship as it is, or should I be concerned that we're not the same as some other people?

I guess I'm looking for some reassurance here as I'm happy as I am until I start comparing with others.

[redwineformethanks]

I'm reassured to hear that I'm not alone. I suspected others would be in a similar situation.

Thanks!

[porcamiseria]

YANBU, we are the same I feel bad but I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired and we are both out of the habit. I think it will come back when DS1-2 start sleeping a bit better

[allegrageller]

yep izzy an Italian on top of everything else, you can see the depth of my problem...

Sadly I stomped off to the loo alone on this occasion, giving him the finger in the process. Sigh.

We are talking and I've apologised for being a badtempered bitch for my general impatience etc but we can both see something needs to really change here, woman/man cannot live by sex alone.

I will let you know when we're reunited. Maybe when the idiot gets a watch and stops thinking that the rules of time don't apply to him because he is an artist.... But yes a brief coma will probably result.

LOL hth yes a nice holiday would hit the, er, correct spot....

[HalfTermHero]

I don't think that anyone could accuse me of 'stealth' . I did have a chuckle at the med men reference though. Fingers (but not legs) crossed you can get a summer holiday booked ASAP!

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

O allegra, given the dearth of between the sheets or on the anything action in my life at the present time, plus my penchant for med men, you have my deepest sympathy.

Couldn't you have nipped into the disabled loo and made up before he flew away? Or did the thought of being revived by the St John's Ambulance service dampen your ardour?

FTR I got as far as 'wantonwetknickers' before beginning to compose my offering, during the course of which I made and ate avocado with prawns and poured a nightcap.

As per usual, I didn't check to see what further pearls of wisdom had been added before I posted and I can assure you that a) the term 'stealth boast' was used tongue in cheek which is where mine is staying for the foreseeable future and b) was certainly not directed at you.

So when's the reunion? And have you bought some smelling salts for the occasion?

[allegrageller]

fair point izzy my post reads like a stealth boast I can see that. But to be fair to me too it is in fact the sex crazed ramblings of a frustrated nympho in early middle age, not actually that much to boast about :D

and having just gone through a riproaring public argument with dp in an airport (where the idiot managed to miss the plane trying to buy two bottles of water at the last minute) which ended in me storming off home and him buggering off back to italy I am not really in any position to boast about our relationship. Bloody great sex though when we actually manage to remain in the same country (sorry can't help it) :D

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

I mean that your dh may be shagging the vicar's wife rather than the gamekeeper having it off with her - although, of course, he may well be dipping his wick in the same pool of oil, or whatever/wherever wicks are wont to dip... if you get my drift.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

This may possibly be not quite what you had in mind, redwine, when you confided your secrets to the scrutiny of all on a Wednesday evening - including those down home & dirty degenerates who lose no opportunity to stealth boast about their imaginary sex lives but usually have the decency to confine themselves to a Friday thread or 10

I've lived with loads of sex, and I've lived without any, and my jury's out on which is preferable. Maybe I've got some self-adjusting inner mechanism that shuts down in time of famine?

I do know that I achieve a lot more when I'm not in lust with a male appendage, and I also know that I can kickstart my libido anytime simply by travelling to a hot country - forget mad men, med men in the mid-day sun get my juices flowing.

The notion of an Alan Bennett scenario comprising cocoa, flannel sleepwear, and a book at bedtime, is cosily appealing on a winter evening, but if I was sharing a bed with my OH the nightie would be off shortly after the light, and his jammies wouldn't last much longer.

If a bi-annual session floats both of your boats that's fine, but do be aware that repressed urges are exactly what they say on the tin, and they may sneakily overwhelm either of you without warning.

Heaven forfend that you could find yourself lusting after the gamekeeper while he's putting it about with the vicar's wife

[CRS]

I think I'm weird. I am not that interested in sex, I don't hate it, but not bothered too much, seems to have worked out OK.

[HalfTermHero]

Dh is away here too, Allegra. I agree re the argument thing. It usually ends in make up sex. We can't stay angry with each other when naked in bed. Am just about getting by without him with the thought that I will be sliding up and down on it on his return.

[CRS]

I don't have sex often. I do have a loving partner. Sex isn't that big a deal.

[allegrageller]

hth I understand entirely. I feel this way about my current partner. Have always had a high sex drive but ended up with men I liked but wasn't that attracted to, so it petered away over time. This time round we row all the time, but my god.the.sex. I often think I'll pass out i get so turned on by him.

having said that- you can see from what I've said about dp, that great sex doesn't always mean total compatibility. Sometimes I'd just like dp and I to be a cosy couple who just watch telly in the evenings. If you are both happy why on earth not? Sex is not happiness.

By the way hth I wish to god you hadnt' written that post about the stiff cock inside you cos dp is away and you have got me rather FRUSTRATED bugger ;)

[Pumpernickel10]

Tbh I couldn't imagine a life without sex I love the intimacy with it and when we did have it it was good. Just hope we can get it back to how it was if you know what I mean

[GetOrf]

If you both feel the same, then don't worry about it, you sound very happy.

However if one of you doesn't care for sex, and the other does, the person not having sex will be driven to distraction. Which is so bloody hurtful.

[glitteryturd]

He he he he, loving the soggy pants story HTH.

We don't have sex at the moment, I think we are just too tired. I don't miss it that much and I think he needed a rest from being whipped...if only! But there is one thing I love more than his big hard cock...SLEEP! Oh yeh pillow, give it to me hard!

[Thingumy]

I have a friend who is the same expat.

It's not for me but she is very happy and they love each other dearly.

Horses for courses and all of that jazz.

[expatinscotland]

What Spring said.

I have a mate who's asexual, married to another asexual. They did have sex, when they were trying to conceive, but are otherwise very happy with their lives. They enjoy each other's company immensely and are plenty affectionate, they just don't care for sex.

[HalfTermHero]

Thingumy, well if the soaked pants fit . Agree that the name suits. I have been known to change knickers at lunchtime as mine are too wet thinking about him if it is ovulation time. Can't be doing with pantyliners, lol. Just call me Captain Cum

[Fernie3]

God your right we would need to start them sleeping in hammocks in the hall with 10dc

[Pumpernickel10]

redwine me and DH have not had sex in 8 months mainly due to my depression he's been good though I've just no sex drive at the moment sex is the last thing on my mind I feel if your relationship is good then some not all can live without sex. I miss sex but I don't fancy it. I feel awful for DH but he's been wonderful no pressure at all. On new meds now so hopefully fingers crossed in the not too distant future I'll feel more like my old self.

[HalfTermHero]

Being descriptive is fuel to the fire, imo. I tell dh and he tells me. It just makes us both hornier. If you already have 4 dc then don't get all booty call on his ass now, lol. You are doing fine as it is and if you get all explicit then you might end up with 10 dc!

[ReindeerBollocks]

HTH - I admire your honesty, I am the same way with some of my best friends (we know far too much about each other). That said, I doubt we would discuss the amount of times sex took place, unless it became an issue for the parties involved.

[Thingumy]

Bless you HT-you do make me laugh!

I hereby name hth 'wantonwetknickers'

[Fernie3]

Halftermhero you are very um descriptive(?) see that's the sort of thing I would be too embarrassed to say to dh ( from my thread on chat!)
Even though it's true and doing it wouldn't be a problem god help if we talked about it lol. ( we have 4dc by the way under 6 and people keep asking when number 5 is coming - shudder)

[HalfTermHero]

Nah, I honestly won't regret it, Thingumy. My friends know the situation as I have bored them at length. I am quite open about it irl, lol. In some ways it is a cross to bear. Best shag we ever had was on honeymoon. I had nearly fucked him in public several times that day as I was so wet through. By the time we got some privacy it was feral. I came about 10 times in 20 mins .

I will shut up now.