In wishing people wouldnt let their kids leap all over their furniture

[opalinski]

Ok OK totally totally BU re telling other people what to do in their own homes.

But I just wish, just a teeny bit and it is just a wish, that people wouldnt OR would at least let their kids know it isnt usual at other houses.

I seem to have had a run of 6/7 year old boys (visitors) who jump all over my furniture, throw stuff around the house and slide down bannisters, throw things down from upstairs etc.

I do politely ask them not to and tell them its my house and our rules are different ...usually after the "we can in our house" line...but always end up looking like a cow because of it. Its bad enough having to ask them to remove their shoes when coming in from the garden to go upstairs where the white/cream carpet is. Its not something I like to do but loads of boys running in from the dirt to the bedroom wrecks the carpet.

We have a kid friendly home and I welcome ds' friends but I really wish people would either have the same rules i their homes as me (yeah, i know but its a pipe dream) or at least tell their kids its not the norm in every household. I hate sounding like a cow to my ds' friends but seriously dont want them to jump all over my couch and kick the wlls with their feet etc

AIBU?

(and before anyone else suggests the kids are just chancing it and they dont at home, Ive visited and they do)

[exoticfruits]

It is fairly easy in that if you take them to other people's houses, from babies, they realise that different people have different rules. Mine had to contend with great aunts and ornaments etc. No one moved anything for them.

[noddyholder]

My ds and all his mates jumped all over ours for years. He is 17 they don,t do it now so I assume it's just something boys do. Not all th stone and not in others houses I would hope if he had been told not to. They also bounced on beds,made tens under tables,and for some reason they loved playing cinema and dragged cushions and food everywhere to do so. Chill out they do not do it forever!

[youarekidding]

vess I have that re 1 friend and toys. She is a 'controlled play' type who runs around tidying up. I am a make a mess play with toys etc but put them back when you've finished/ before you leave where you got them from. Took a long time and me having to get tough for her kids to realise my 'laxness' wasn't to be taken the piss out of. EG I may be relaxed but you still respect my house and DS toys.

[Hormoneoverload]

Think children should know it's not acceptable everywhere or at all times. Generally no climbing or jumping on our sofas- with the occasional moment where they're allowed to take the cushions off and leap on those on the floor (while I Hoover up on the sofa itself). They know the reasons why. Also, apart from the odd occasion, they know they don't draw or do play dough in the living room and that eating takes place at the table. They're mire than happy to jump on someone else's sofa if given the chance, but wouldn't dream of assuming. With other children, you do have to accept the need to be assertive. They don't assume things are different to home unless you tell them but usually accept readily (with the odd exception!!) when you do.

[Buddhastic]

Our kids weren't allowed to as we could never afford to replace anything broken or damaged. It hasn't left them uncomfortable in our house and 'my rules' apply to any visitors. But it does make it difficult sometimes especially with young children who don't do as their told near my 'cream sofa' Aaargh!

[Katy1368]

Your house your rules of course you shuld have the right to expect others peoples children not to do this. Personally my DD pummels my sofa and uses my bed as one huge trampoline but if she were ever in your house I would expect her to apply different standards AND more crucially I would keep an eye on her to ensure she didn't start trampolining!

[vess]

One of ds's friends, whose mother is very strict and would never let him jump on furniture etc, thought that just because we're a bit more relaxed, he can do anything he liked in our house - including break and damage stuff.

[chunkythighs]

reminds me of a HUGE pet hate- fussy eaters. I had a friend arrive a while back with two teens in tow. As I was plating dinner for 6 she politely informed me the likes and dislikes of her kids.
I called the kids in and explained that in my house I expect them to try the food I prepared for them, they were also welcome to place specific items on a piece plate. I also pointed to the bread and fruit on the counter. I didn't make a big deal out of it but was very black and white on the subject.

I don't expect my guests to love to love my cooking, I do expect them to taste it.


Miracles of miracles- the plates were cleaned! My friend was stunned! (I was a little smug).

[jobo84]

YANBU kids should know that tings are not easily replaced, unless you have an endless supply of cash to keep replacing the items then the 'little dears' should know that it is completely unacceptable.
I would go crazy if my kids jumped all over my furniture. I do not want to go and have to spend more money on items of furniture that i already have and that wouldnt be broken if they hadnt jumped on it. Also, coming from a parent whose now 4 year old broke her leg last year,broken limbs are most definately no fun,so if they want to jump go on the trampoline!

[naturalbaby]

my sofa cushions are already knackered from the cats using the back as a bed, now ds1 is only just 3 and using them as a tramploine. we even have a trampoline right there next to the sofa but he just can't help himself. much as i try not to yell at him to stop doing stuff all day long, i will repeat several times on a daily basis " sofas are for sitting on!! go jump on the trampoline!"

[Thornykate]

I was wondering how young kids actually know not to do this in other peoples houses if they are allowed to do it at home & you have answered my question before I asked it defineme thanks! But did you have to explain this from a v young age to your kids every time you went visiting somewhere?

[exoticfruits]

They can jump in their own home-I am quite happy-just not in mine!

[defineme]

I think some posters really need to grasp that just because someone chooses to live their life in a differen way to you it doesn't make them morally wrong!
My kids would not dream of bouncing on your furniture because they know to suss out people's house rules before any wildness-they take their cue from the host.
However, you are mistaken if you think I'm feckless just because I have let them bounce on my sofas (9 yrs worth of 3 kids on £120 Ikea Klippan sofas and no broken springs-what sofas do you buy?).
I think your rules are fine and so are mine-live and let live. Have the confidence to think 'my house my rules'-I chuck the neighbour's kids out if they ask for anything in the wrong tone of voice, but I don't judge their parents-why would I care?I can sort any misunderstandings about my rules out in a few seconds/with a hard look, but I'm aware they may have different rules at home.

[MoreBeta]

YANBU. Our children never jump on furniture, draw on walls, walk in with shoes on or enter certain rooms or generally treat our house and possessons disrespectfully. The same cannot be said for some children of friends who visit our house.

We won't tolerate it and we are firm with children who visit - our house and our rules. Most children 'get' the rules once told.

[emptyshell]

I used to regularly do somersaults on the sofa at home... but I knew my mother would absolutely kill me if I did anything like that in someone else's house. No ifs, no buts, no "but my mum lets me" - just a point blank understanding from the get-go that in other people's houses you treat them with about quadruple the respect you treat your own with, and the same if anyone ever lent you anything.

Gone out of the window these days.

[exoticfruits]

Don't tell them politely, be a dragon! It is your house and they don't do the things you list. DCs are perfectly OK with boundries-once they understand they don't do it in your house. I can't have been too bad-they always wanted to stay longer. (if they don't get it don't have a second time)

[AppleyEverAfter]

YANBU, children need to have respect for other people's belongings, and their own. And at 6/7 yo there really is no excuse! Seems to me some parents are so sick of telling their kids off for stuff like this that they just give up and let them run riot. Have seen this first-hand with some friends' kids. It's sad.

[Cymar]

Any kids who have told me they're allowed to jump over the sofa at their house have been told by me (DH is growing a pair with other kids ) that this is MY house....not theirs and they can hoof it home and jump over their own if they want. I usually ask the other kids if they want me to ring their parents to stop their pocket money to pay for our new sofa and I also tell my 2 that there'll be money taken off them for the same. Stops them PDQ.

[opalinski]

With the one that went into my bedroom and raided my jewellery box, she appeared in the garden (where we had been talking) wearing my £5K ruby bracelet and holding a very very small cross I got when I was a baby. I went upstairs to find my stuff stewn everywhere. The Mum just tilted her head in an "oh isnt she a poppet" way. I was livid. She didnt jump on the furniture though

[Cutiecat]

My mum just had some people over with their children aged 14 and 9. They were all sitting chatting and my parents were not really concerned where the children were or what they were doing. When they had left my mum discovered they had opened 3 different cartons of juice in the kitchen, helped themselves to biscuits and some very nice chocolates. How rude is that?

I thought it was shocking that my dd and her friend had been in my bedroom as i found her friends hairclips on my bed. Quite tame in comparison but i still don't like people in my bedroom.

[youarekidding]

OP Don't feel like a cow. My answer to 'I'm allowed to at my house is' .....well go home and do it there then.

YANBU (except the pipe dream bit!). I don't allow jumping on furniture, sitting on tables, playing on beds (DS has high sleeper). Live in flat but agree about throwing- especially down stairs. TBF why would you risk damage to a sofa which will cost £300 to replace - more if its 3 piece suite.

What grates on me is when other parents allow their DC's to behave that way round others (if they know its not allowed) instead of being firm.

[ragged]

I could ask who in their right mind with young children in the house buys a suite worth 4k...

I loathe some of our furniture & have given up (a bit) on caring how DC treat it. That said, I don't let them trash the place because it gets on my nerves & I can't rely on them to tidy up later.

[atswimtwolengths]

The thought of furniture being destroyed by children who have no parental control is awful!

There's nothing wrong with children (after asking) taking cushions off the sofa and building a den. There's everything wrong with them jumping on a sofa and breaking the springs. Sofas are not built for jumping on.

Children who do that are seen by others as a bloody nightmare and I know I've refused to have them in the house again.

[Salmotrutta]

Funny how some parents do that as soon as they land up at someone else's house isn't it?

[Thornykate]

I agree that it is about manners & I for one want my kids to grow up knowing how to conduct themselves.

IME it's easier for young kids to learn one set of rules about behaviour around the house than to try & expect them to behave in a very different manner depending on where you go. If we visit a home where the familiy kids are allowed to jump on the furnature I would still not allow my own kids to do it.