refusing to eat with my husband until he sorts his table manners out

[breathing]

Its got so bad its horrible to witness. Even my teenage dss comments and hates eating with his Dad. He burps, farts wolfs his meal down in double quick time, takes one bite and then looks fertively at the pan to see if there will be seconds, leaves mess on his chin while scooping food into his gob and makes a num num num growling kind of n noise while chewing/breathing out. Its disgusting and getting worse.

[dillydotty]

I couldn't fancy someone with bad table manners, it would kill any sexlife. YANBU

[LordoftheTits]

Zombie thread

[Bev1207]

My husband ignored my years and years of pleas for better table manners.
I was so frustrated I put peanuts in my mouth and started talking to him. He was horrified. We will see if this over to top tactic worked. Hahaha

[breathing]

The noise thing is new. Maybe I will ask him if he is having trouble breathing.

[breathing]

No, not at all.

[QuackQuackSqueak]

He's not ill? Dementia or anything?

[breathing]

No idea. Its been more so in the past year as well.

[QuackQuackSqueak]

Why would someone develop bad table manners as time goes on, really weird! Do you have any idea why it happened OP?

[breathing]

I dont have an i phone, Id have to film him with a video camera, bit obvious.
And as Ive mentioned, he wasnt like this. Its developed over 15 years

[expatinscotland]

I wouldn't have even gone on a second date with a person who has bad table manners . . .

[nijinsky]

Ugh I know. My DP is not nearly as bad, but considering his mother considers herself much posher than anyone else (although she's not), her children all eat a bit like pigs at a trough. Hold cutlery like shovels, talk with their mouths full so you can see all the contents, get food all over their faces and don't notice, slam their cutlery against the plate every time they take a mouthful (surprisingly annoying after a time), etc..

[expatinscotland]

Why don't you film these people? Pull out your phone and let it rip.

Put it on YouTube so the whole world can tell them how fucking vile they are.

[frazzle26]

My dad spat out some gristly steak the other day when we were out for lunch the other day and left it on his plate for all to see. Everytime I looked at it I kept urging, it was so gross. Generally though he does have good table manners, this was a bit of a lapse.

[JanMorrow]

show him this thread, that sounds really vile.

[QuackQuackSqueak]

I think you need to have a proper talk about it. You could use the excuse that it is passing bad habits onto the children.

If he refuses to change how about copying him in a mocking kind of way to embarrass him into it, or maybe just refuse to eat with him or even cook for him?

[SpringchickenGoldBrass]

Does your H eat like this when there are other people around ie when at work or in a cafe or restaurant? or is it just in front of you?

[Spuddybean]

That sounds foul.
My boyfriend has been in the army and his table manners are horrible too. I have managed to stop him farting when i eat but he still wolfs food down then leaves the table while i'm still eating - even when i have cooked a 'romantic meal'. He doesnt use a knife and shovels huge chunks of food up american style, often dribbling it all down his chin, chasing food round his plate and then pushing it on the fork with his fingers.
My father eats with his mouth open and makes loud sloppy sounds and my mum mashes her food together so it looks chewed on her plate - i find it very hard to eat at thier house and feel nauseaus when i do.
I went out with a friend the other day who 'ate' the pots of ketchup and mayonnaise on the table with his fingers after practically inhaling his food and finishing everyones left overs.

I'm starting to feel like maybe it's just me who has table manners!
I like the idea of filming him, i may adopt that technique too! The problem is my boyfriend would probably watch it blankly and then ask what was wrong with it?!

[bubblecoral]

That is more than just a bad habit breathing, it's plain rude and inconsiderate. And disrespectful to the others he is eating with.

I would refuse to eat with him if he is going to behave like that.

[breathing]

Its really unpleasant to be eating a meal opposite someone who lifts their butt cheeks and farts ....really unpleasant

[Chandon]

I hate men who grunt when they eat.

PIL always does this, and DH sometimes, but I always comment....

DH also eats double quick, but having grown up very poor with 4 (!) brothers, they all used to eat quick as the bigger brothers used to nick things of their plates otherwise. I have given up on that one as it's ingrained too deep into his psyche I reckon .

[bubblecoral]

My dh has issues with food, which when we met were horrendous, but are now thankfully ok. But because of this, he had terrible table manners. He simply never learnt how to eat properly. I blame his mother entirely.

Anyway, I began my campaign to change this right at the beginning. He would either practically inhale his food if it was something he was comfortable with, or he would be awkward and just push it around the plate then dump a napkin on top if it wasn't something he was comfortable with. There were a couple of other undesirable habits too. I spent ages trying to make him see how horrible it was to eat in his presence, and eventually he stopped. He is much better now, but in the past occassionally he would slip back to old habits and I would simply refuse to eat with him. I never made a big deal about it, but I would eat in another room, or refuse his suggestions to go out to eat, which I know hurt his feelings but also made him realise that he had to change.

It's not easy breaking the habits, but it's worth it when eating together is something you can't avoid, and is supposed to be enjoyable.

[confuseddotcodotuk]

As I said on the other thread, YANBU, my Mum and Grandad are the same and I have to leave the room when they eat because it makes me feel really ill. I just got back from visiting my Mum at work and she even made eating cherries something absolutely disgusting and I just said goodbye and left her to it.

[Butterbur]

Nobody in our family wants to eat in the same room as DH unless we are all watching the telly and a) cannot hear the disgusting noise he makes and b) are watching something other than his face as he shovels in his food and chews it with his mouth open, pushing it around with his tongue, ramming in more beforehe'sevenswallowed.

He's always been like this. He's always hurt if it's mentioned. He never changes. And yes, he says his mum was always on about it too, so I'm not sure why he thinks the rules don't apply to him.

[Pandemoniaa]

I'm amazed at these mannerless troughers and actually, I wouldn't sit at a table and eat a meal with someone who behaved like this. So I suggest moving yourself, and food, somewhere else and telling your DH that his eating habits are so disgusting that you can't enjoy a meal in his company.

[katvond]

OP well at least hes not as bad the one on here lastnight whos DH actually spat up green stuff on his plate and left her to clean it up. That thread was to horrid to think about,but I would film him and shame him