to think it was a bit rude to bring a dog to our house without any notice

[Zone2mum]

We had a few friends round at the weekend, most of whom had small children (age range from several weeks old to age 6). One friend turned up with a new dog (not yet house trained)without asking us if this was ok.
I have a bit of an aversion to dogs at the best of times, and DH and I are both allergic to them too.
I was thoroughly taken aback by it. To be fair, they mainly kept it in the garden, running around (where it was generally ok behaved but it did chase several toddlers, including mine, and scared them a bit) but it did roam about on our carpet a bit too, before being retrieved periodically.
I didn't huff and puff, but I do feel a bit miffed - am I being unreasonable to think this was a bit rude of my friend? (I had no idea she was into dogs - she's never owned one before and I didn't know she was getting one). (Even if she had asked, I am not sure if I would have found it in myself to say she couldn't bring it, as I would worry that was rude too...)

[CeliaFate]

Next time you invite her, let her know/remind her you and dh are allergic. Perhaps mention, "oh last time you brought him we were sneezing for hours afterwards, so could you leave him at home please?"

[Ormirian]

She should have asked. As a non doggy household you should have been given the chance to say no. In her defence if it was a pup and she had only just got it she might have been unsure what to do.

Rapacioli - after this weekend I am inclined to agree with you. A dog couldn't have done as much damage...

[beamel]

YANBU.
Nothing to do with dog-owner-bashing. That was incredibly rude of your friend, she should have asked and been prepared for you to say no. I would not have allowed it in my house/garden, especially if not house trained.

[ZZZenAgain]

never had a situation like that with anyone bringing their dog with them on a visit. If you are allergic to dogs, I would have said so and that the dog could not come into the house for that reason. Perfectly reasonable I think, especially if the dog is not house-trained yet. It is not usual IME to just take a dog visiting with you and not check first if the host family is ok with it.

[TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino]

I have my rehomed little dukey boy and my new dp has a dog hes had for years and years

[Rapaccioli]

You have TWO dogs now Trinity?

[Hulababy]

Re. children - I do think that this is different. Children are generally part and parcel if you invite a family around, especially if they are close friend sor family. However, if a friend I didn't know so well or a work colleague, etc invited me round I would always check beforehand if my DD was also invited or not, never just turn up with her. And DD is a well behaved, sensible 9yo - but I'd still check.

[Hulababy]

I wouldn't have allowed the dog in the house I'm afraid. I don't mind dogs but am not overly keen - still have a bit of a nervous thing about them since I was bitten as a teen. But I don't want an animal walking all over my house anyway. I dont have a pet here, we don't wear outdoor shoes upstairs at all, so to me this wouldn't be ok.

The dog would have had to stay outside or in their car.

The owners should have asked first.

[TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino]

I have two dogs and there is no way I would take either of them to someones house without asking first and in that situation I wouldn't have even asked as it just seemed not the right situation at all

[MmeLindor.]

When we first got our dog, we always asked if it were ok to bring her when we were visiting because we could not leave her alone at home when she was so little.

About a week after we got her, we had the company Xmas party - for the children - and we took her along in a big basket. She slept under my chair most of the afternoon, until she escaped and ran through the canteen, followed by dozens of overexcited, over-sugared children shouting, "A PUPPY!".

If we were not able to take her then we would get a dog sitter until she was old enough to be left.

Now I would always ask before taking her, but here in Switzerland dogs are welcome almost everywhere.

[LordOfTheFlies]

I was 'dog-sitting' my bosses female dog for 2 weeks. My mate used to bring round her older,un-neutered dog which was a pain because my mindee dog was in season.( Not my dog but she did have tablets and I used to take her out early and late,always on a lead).

[emsyj]

Probably!!! The irony is I used to be quite fond of their dog until they overstepped the mark by bringing him into my house and scaring my poor mogs half to death.

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

My inlaws do this, it pisses me off.
I have a dog, as well as a cat, rabbits, guineas chickens etc. They bring their elderly dog who hates other dogs, (has attacked any other dog that gets close enough for years) and ask me to put my dog in his cage so hes out of her way! FUCK OFF! comes to mind, i actually manage to just say ''no way, not fair o n Reg, what about all the other animals about the place that your dog doesnt like etc'' usually met with being asked to lock everything away so their precious mangy mutt can come in....NO!

I never let her in DH goes mental at them too, they still bring her all the time though, then can only b here for five minutes as the dogs in the car....get the hit and stop coming then!

I like dogs, my neice is very welcome to bring her untrained jack russel any time she likes, hes not aggressive just loopy, fine with that. I dont like their dog...or BIL dogs actually, young but also dog/other animal agressive. hmmm, perhaps its the idiot Inlaws im allergic to?

Also hate other peoples small children...they only thing i dont like about having my own small children is having to tollerate other peoples small children!

[Lunabelly]

I meant time out from it's owners, not going round people's houses :)

[Lunabelly]

EmsyJ, the dog probably enjoys having some bloody time out!

[emsyj]

YANBU. My ILs turned up at our house with their dog without asking, despite the fact that we have two cats that are neither used to nor fond of dogs, and the dog peed on my lovely parquet floor and then chased both cats upstairs barking madly the whole time. Poor cats were terrified and hid for the rest of he day, which FIL found highly amusing .

I later told DH that he must ask them not to bring the dog again. He was too cowardly to do so, and they brought him again a week or two later. DH asked them to take him into the garden (completely enclosed and safe, nice sunny day) and the result was an angry phone call from MIL later that evening to say "we get the message that M (the dog) isn't welcome" plus a personal visit from FIL when he knew DH was out to have a go at me about it, plus constant whining from both of them whenever they come to our house about needing to "get home for poor M, he's on his own you know". They even left DD's first birthday party after an hour and a half because they needed to get back for the poor sodding dog.

[lesley33]

Of course they should have asked first. But if it is such a new dog that it hasn't yet been toilet trained, they probably can't leave it alone for any length of time.

[SilveryMoon]

I wouldn't like it and I love dogs.
If my friend had said before hand that she'd come but couldn't stay too long because she'd have to get back for the dog, I'd have probably said to just bring the dog if I had a garden, if I didn't have an indoor cat and if my children would be the only ones there.
My other friends would think that coming to my house wouldn't involve a dog, so I'd check with everyone else first too iyswim.

[bluebobbin]

Very rude not to ask first. I would be fine with a dog coming over, but I would expect to be asked in advance.

[ohnoudidnt]

I suppose she could of asked first.Would not bother me though.Give me any dog over anyones kids anyday!

[QuickLookBusy]

I am a dog owner too. I would never dream of taking her to a friends house without asking first. I would also never dream of taking her to a BBQ with lots of young DC running around.

[DooinMeCleanin]

I can't imagine just turning upto someones house dogs in tow if they weren't invited. Unless that person had their own dogs I knew were dog-friendly or that person was a very close friend and I knew they liked dogs. Have you been cooing about ikcle puppies lately op?

[smudgethepuppydog]

I'm a dog owner but I see no evidence of bashing. I think it's highly rude to take a pet, especially a furry pet, to someone's house without checking with them first if it'll be ok.

[missinglalaland]

YANBU, of course people should ask first. Some people won't mind, some will. That's why it's common courtesy to ask first.

[BatFlattery]

YANBU - very rude to bring a dog without asking! I'd have been shocked, and like you, wouldn't have known quite what to say, I think! Especially a puppy - might be different if it was an older, calmer dog which might be content to just lie in the garden. Puppies are really a pain in the arse IME! (Sorry, puppy lovers).