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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect all children to be dressed the same at dancing shows?

14 replies

mummywobble · 31/05/2011 14:36

I pay for dd (5) to attend dancing classes every week, so that I can bask in the glow of being parent to "hugely talented" daughter when her dancing show comes on , once a year. After being told EXACTLY what outfits dd should wear, I turn up at the show last night to dress dd and see that a number of other mums have added little "extras" to their DDs outfits rather than doing exactly what the dancing teacher told us to do! As a working mum, makes me feel hugely inadequate and frustrated! 2 more nights of show to go, do I tweak her outfit / put on glitter spray / makeup / curl hair or just put her on as is?!

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/05/2011 14:40

If she's "hugely talented", OP, you shouldn't need to 'gild the lily'. I wouldn't bother trying to compete, it looks desperate. Also... if all of these other girls are glittered and curled, your daughter is going to stand out more. Let the other mums carry on. As long as your daughter is happy with the way she looks, that's all that matters. :)

Original poster

mummywobble · 31/05/2011 14:44

I should have clarified "hugely talented" which at age 5 means she completes the dance from start to finish and doesnt cry / fall down / pee on the stage / stand stock still / try to jump off stage onto her parents arms (which one wee 4 year old did last night, glitter and all!)

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 31/05/2011 14:49

Weren't you given instructions on make up, glitter and hair as well? DD's hair always had to be in a bun for her dancing shows, but heavy make up and glitter were expected

Miggsie · 31/05/2011 14:50

Don't worry, no amount of bows etc will make a child a bettter dancer, it will be patently obvious who is good and who isn't, and leave it at that.

seeker · 31/05/2011 14:51

Is she bothered?

If so pop to Superdrug and buy soe glitter spray.

If not, then don't.

sims2fan · 31/05/2011 15:43

I would leave it as is. If you've supplied exactly as the dance teacher wanted then you've done the right thing. It could be that the dance teacher doesn't care too much about a bit of glitter though, so you could take some to the show and ask if she'd prefer your daughter to have it on or not and then do as requested.

Similar thing happened when I was little. Myself and 2 other girls were bridesmaids. My mum made mine and my cousin's dresses and did them exactly as the bride requested. The mother of the third girl made hers in a totally different style. The bride was not too impressed.

DirtyMartini · 31/05/2011 15:46

"heavy make up and glitter were expected"

Little girls are lovely enough without it, surely? I don't recall it being a problem when I were a lass in the Seventies that we didn't have glitter etc on us at our little ballet shows. It's hardly Vegas, right?

DirtyMartini · 31/05/2011 15:48

I think seeker is right, though. Leave it up to your dd. But I would try to avoid making her feel like she should want it or need it (I'm guessing you will agree, going by your OP)

LIZS · 31/05/2011 15:49

Welcome to the competitive - mum world of dance! Make up is standard for a show and if they have older dd's then they may know the routine. Ask the dance teacher if she is ok as she is , if not could you borrow spray etc.

DirtyMartini · 31/05/2011 15:50

Aw. She is only FIVE. I am really sad that makeup is "standard".

DamselInDisguise · 31/05/2011 15:52

I really don't see why you're worrying about this.

What you need to understand about dancing shows is that absolutely no one in the audience is there to see the actual show. They don't want to see other people's kids/grandkids/sibling/etc dancing; they're there to see their own kid/grandkid/sibling/etc and are having to suffer through a whole, seemingly interminable, show to do so.

In fact, many of them don't really want to see any child (related to them or not) dancing, but are there because its their duty to go along so the dancing child feels valued.

The consequence of this is that absolutely no one cares what your daughter is wearing but you and your family. If you're happy with how she's styled (or, more importantly, if she's happy), then everything is right in the world.

Original poster

mummywobble · 01/06/2011 10:55

Thank you all! Feeling slightly better now. Was just concerned that there were secret dancing rules that I must have missed!

OP posts:

MumblingRagDoll · 01/06/2011 10:59

Will you be there to help her dress on the night? If so take your makeup...be prepared as this is when the other Mums go to town....you dont want DD to feel left out.

wudu · 01/06/2011 11:05

Exactly what Damsel said.

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