To think all the posters who said Tom Daley's Dad 'needed to take a step back' should feel utterly ashamed of themselves?

[Astley]

I've just heard the news that Tom Daley's Dad, Rob, has died of his brain cancer

There was a horrible thread on here a few months ago with people saying he was 'overbearing', 'embarassing' and 'needed to take a step back'.

Most posters mentioned how the poor man had cancer and might just be trying to make the most of the limited time he had left with his child and show him how much he loved and supported him. For some posters, though, he was stil a terrible Father for daring to ask his son for a hug during a press conference

I wonder if any of these posters have thought today that their comments were so bloody nasty and the poor man really did only have a few months left with his family.

So rest in peace Rob, your son will always have the knowledge that you adored him and always wanted the best for him. In a few years he will not look back and think 'oh God my Dad was so embarassing asking me for a hug in front of all those people', he will probably be thinking how glad he is he went over there and gave his Father, who loved him so much, the hug he asked for.

[Pandemoniaa]

Who wouldn't be sorry that the man has died? Especially since he leaves children behind. But it'd be a deal more hypocritical for everyone to berate themselves over opinions that were validly held. Quite what sort of glory the OP expected to be covered with by posting this thread I don't know since it exudes a smug self-satisfaction that's entirely at odds with the announcement of a death.

[Serenitysutton]

Don't be ridiculous. Just beacuse a person dies doesn't make them faultless. Maybe he was overbearing - it's not like the only people who get cancer are those without imperfections.

Tbh, op I can't quite believe how dim you've made yourself sound.

[bruffin]

I agree with the op, because when I heard about the sad death today, I remembered that thread because of the nastiness of it against a very sick man.
Anyone who saw the documentary could see the lovely relationship between father and son.
My son is almost the same age as tom, and i can see my Dh is struggling a bit with Ds growing up the way tom,s dad was.

[TrillianAstra]

Just because someone is dead, doesn't mean that you have to take back every single non-positive thing you ever said about them.

Dying doesn't change whether someone's previous behaviour was right or wrong.

[QuincyMincemeat]

sometimes brain tumours can make some one act in 'odd' ways depending on whereabouts in the brain, perhaps lowering inhibitions etc. This could explain his behaviour??? just an idea

[maras2]

Agree with AF as usual.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

What does this man's relationship have to do with you, OP? Do you have some kind of vested interest in it? I agree with other posters who say that there was no need for this kind of pointless finger-wagging thread.

[ShellyBoobs]

"Do we know for sure that TD was embarrassed by his dad on that day?"

I remember seeing it; Tom definitely looked very embarassed and indeed said he was.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Do we know for sure that TD was embarrassed by his dad on that day?

Mamazon - I have wondered from time to time if your Dad was still with us after you posted about him a few months ago. My ddad was also dying at the time (now gone, rip) and I remember being so shocked and sorry for you because your father is so young - only two years older than me - whereas my father had reached the grand old age of 81. I know you are a shedload younger than me, of course but still am amazed you have such young parents!

For a teenager to lose a parent who was only 40 - that is nothing other than utterly tragic.

[purepurple]

I am sure it is very sad for this man's family that he has died, but I didn't know him, never met him and don't have an opinion on him.
I don't see the need for this thread. Are we now all to stop having opinions on people just in case they die and we might feel bad that we voiced those opinions?
Weird.

[Mamaz0n]

My dad is dying. He is still utterly mortifying, hugely embarrassing and quite often i just wish h wouldn't do the things he does.

It is a terrible shame that this man has died. I send my thoughts to his family. But why someone should feel ashamed for feeling his behaviour whilst alive was questionable is beyond me.

[CrapBag]

I remember that horrible thread and posted on it to say as much. Most people gave the OP a bit of a pasting luckily and it got deleted as well.

RIP Rob Daley, very sad news.

[ShellyBoobs]

Sorry but this is a bizarre post OP!

Just because someone has died, it doesn't mean that whatever they did whilst alive is suddenly beyond reproach.

Tom's dad's actions were embarassing in that press conference and that's fact. Saying that doesn't mean he was a bad father or that he wasn't partly responsible for Tom's success, but his death doesn't suddenly mean he didn't seriously embarrass Tom that day.

If you think people should be ashamed for having an opinion about someone who later dies, you'd better stop having opinions about anyone.

[TheFlyingOnion]

Can I just add, OP that when you reach the giddy heights of maybe 25 or 30 years old , writing RIP and a little sad emoticon on a chat forum will not seem like a reasonable way of identifying, or sympathising with a stranger's grief.

[megapixels]

Oh fgs what on earth is wrong with you OP? Just because someone criticises another person it doesn't mean that they should be ashamed or remorseful if said person dies.

FWIW I didn't think that the dad is embarrassing or that he should have taken a step back, but it's in really poor taste to come on here immediately with your "I was right all along" and "I told you so" thread. Bet you came running here to post this the minute you heard. Ugh.

[supercal]

OP, I can be lovely yes, I can also be a dick sometimes. It's called being human. I don't live in a Disney movie you know, I live in the real world.


When you are as ancient as me you might understand that:

(a) family dynamics are very complicated and are often far from what they appear to the outside eye, particularly an outside eye that is only viewing through the warped lens of the media

(b) someone's death does not excuse anything they did in their lifetime or what others did or felt in relation to them

(c) it is very common for childhood stars/sportspeople who were coached/mentored/managed/bodyguarded by their parents as kids to grow up and enforce a professional separation, including sacking their parents from that professional role. Not because they don't love their parents, but because they felt suffocated or saw a need for impartial management.

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

I was married with two kids in 1997.
I am so old.

[TheFlyingOnion]

you were a young child in 1997 astley?

So can I imagine you are married with kids at, what, aged 16?

[LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay]

Oh FFS, OP what are you looking for here? Approbation? It's Not Going To Happen.

Enough already and grow the fuck up. Just leave it. You're not getting the response you wanted (or maybe you are?) so now you're getting personally shitty with other MNs' responses.

Hang on? Didn't you have a problem with others doing JUST THIS?

[K999]

Christ, I feel old. I could have gone to their wedding!

[Astley]

Wow. Supercal. You really seem like such a lovely person. It would have been difficult for my DH and I to have attended Diana's funeral together as at the time we were both young children and hadn't actually met yet.

[lynehamrose]

Nasty muck raking OP.

[supercal]

Oh, and one more thing. OP, did you and your DH attend Princess Diana's uneral by any chance? If not, I bet you really wanted to go, didn't ya?

[supercal]

I should add that I'm sure Mr Daley loved his son very much and v.v

But just because someone is loving and caring doesn't mean they don't also act like a twat sometimes.