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AIBU?

Guardian Soul Mates - would you?

37 replies

theglove · 27/05/2011 17:11

Almost everyone within my age range and area seemed nice, including someone I knew, weirdly.

However, as much as I'd like to I'd never feel able to post a picture online, precisely because of being recognised and then feeling humiliated.

Is it something others would feel quite natural, or is internet dating not a good idea?

OP posts:

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TrillianAstra · 28/05/2011 16:18

If I were single I would definitely use internet dating sites.

Guardian one would at least mean that the person you were talking to read the newspaper occassionally, which is a good start :)

jasminetom · 28/05/2011 15:50

My mum met her husband through Guardian soul mates, they are in their 60s but still, was the first time she had used it. They have been together 10 years now.

SpareOhs · 27/05/2011 21:04

I've been on and off GSM a few times over the past few years and have never met anyone unpleasant or weird - plenty I wasn't particularly interested in (and vice versa, tbh!) but all perfectly nice and normal. It's good fun!

I would second much of the advice on here. Go for it with gusto and an open mind. Don't feel embarrassed and don't apologise - everyone's doing it these days!

You really should consider putting up a photo. You will get much more of a response - it's only human nature to want to know what someone looks like before contacting them. If you really can't face it, do the private photos thing and then 'favourite' lots of men so they can see your pics.

I've never had a cock photo from GSM. It doesn't tend to attract that sort of bloke, ime. OKCupid, on the other hand... I've lost count. Not to mention the fetish pics

chubbly · 27/05/2011 20:36

Do it!! And tell us all about the replies!! My friend has met sone nice people on it, but also got a few cock photos. You're just playing the odds of meeting the right person. Good Luck!

SuePurblybilt · 27/05/2011 20:33

I would worry too about pics, because I am so rural and everyone knows everyone here and because my Ex spends an alarming amount of time on dating sites. That's why he's an Ex . But I do think you have to put them up, can you pick one that's not too obviously you and then do as others have suggested and email better pics to people you're actually interested in? Sunglasses praps? Or would that make you look a knob?
My mum and step-dad met and married on GSM too.

Tortu · 27/05/2011 20:28

Sorry- haven't read all the posts. Am just nipping on to say that I'm going to a Christening this weekend and the baby's parents met on Guardian Soulmates.

mothermirth · 27/05/2011 20:26

I met my DH to be on GSM. Neither of us put photos on the site. We're getting married next year. He is dreamy

mothermirth · 27/05/2011 20:25

I met my DH to be on GSM. Neither of us put photos on the site. We're getting married next year. He is dreamy

northernrock · 27/05/2011 20:21

Hooray!

Vilt · 27/05/2011 20:17

I would, I did, I met my DH.

Been happily married for 2 years now :)

theglove · 27/05/2011 19:53

Thank you everyone for your replies and words of encouragement, I will do it!
You have good tips, I liked the advice to be brazen and upfront and also not be apologetic for being there, which I probably would have.

My main worry is still my ex or one of his friends will find it and piss themselves but as you say, I will see what privacy settings they have - he won't have signed up.

I've done a couple of things this year I never thought I would, can't believe this of all things would be another

OP posts:

mum765 · 27/05/2011 19:45

I know two people who used Guardian soulmates through the newspaper version and are now married to people they met there. I think it's one of the better ones.

YellowDinosaur · 27/05/2011 19:08

cross posted with northernrock and totally agree about being upfront and open about it - if you're not embarrassed (and I wasn't after a couple of weeks because I felt like Carrie in Sex and the City with my breakfast, lunch and dinner dates ) then they will soon get bored of taking the mick!

Whats to be embarrassed about anyway? Most single people would admit to wanting to meet the right person (even if they would prefer to be single to being with a twat), so what is so wrong about being proactive about it?

One of the things I found so refreshing about internet dating is that it cuts the crap. You KNOW you are both there because you want to meet someone (or you do once you have rooted out those out for a shag, the married and the losers who are actually pretty easy to spot) so there is no pretence.

YellowDinosaur · 27/05/2011 19:05

I met dh online (datingdirect) and we have been happily married for nearly 7 years and have 2 gorgeous sons.

PrincessJengas post and advice is absolutely spot on.

Go for it - you have nothing to lose. And if Guardian soul mates doesn't have the privacy option many other sites do so perhaps try one of them first?

northernrock · 27/05/2011 19:03

I've done it, put pic up and everything, so of course all my friends found me on it and critiqued my profile!
I think you have to be upfront and shameless about it.
If you don't feel embarassed, then others won't think it's embarassing.

I had some good dates and a relationship out of it and will prob be going back. Plus its really good for boosting your self confidence-I was feeling a right frumpy old moo but got lots of compliments and nice male attention.
Do it!

Adversecamber · 27/05/2011 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca · 27/05/2011 18:50

No, they're all down south.
Don't see why it's different to other dating sites though.

Mamateur · 27/05/2011 18:43

I met DP (soon to be DH on there).

I think if you're going to do internet dating you need to embrace it. Nothing worse than someone saying, ooh I can't believe I'm on here blah blah.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 27/05/2011 18:42

aw, how nice to hear all these stories of Guardian Soul Mates couples
my close friend met her lovely DP of several years' standing through GSM

MooncupGoddess · 27/05/2011 18:39

Oh, go for it. The only people who will find you on it are people who are involved in/thinking about online dating themselves, so they can't exactly pour scorn on you!

I found a colleague on there last week, fortunately neither of our profiles are at all embarrassing so we just had a laugh about it.

slippingsoftlyaway · 27/05/2011 18:37

I've had a good few months meeting men off the GSM website. Some were ok, some were definitely pretty weird, but I had some fun times. They were quite relaxed people, fairly open-minded sexually, often working in media.

I've used the Times dating website as well which had more solvent men on it but generally a bit more conventional, often working in finance or law. They introduced me to some lovely restaurants and hotels though .

emsyj · 27/05/2011 18:32

I would do Internet dating in a heartbeat if I was single. Back in them olden days it wasn't as 'normal' as it is now and the Internet was still a bit new-fangled so it wasn't an option when I was looking, so I joined a sports club (for a sport I am not interested in) to meet men. Same thing IMO. It's just about widening your circle and meeting new people, then eventually you're bound to meet someone you click with.

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OTheHugeManatee · 27/05/2011 18:21

GSM has by far the best normal to weirdo ratio of any dating site I've come across. I met generally very nice people there, including the man I'm marrying next year.

Giselle99 · 27/05/2011 18:15

Theglove- expanding on slanted's suggestion, once you make your pics private you can then select the men you like the sound of and make them one of your 'favourites' - this means they can now see your pics but others can't. It also lets them know you're semi-interested but you also don't care if most of your favourites do not get back to you as they have to be paid members to do this, and many are not. Also they may have just met someone and have put themselves off the market but still have a profile etc. You can have as many favourites as you want.

I know many people who have met their longterm partners there, so it really is worth a go.

EggyAllenPoe · 27/05/2011 17:54

my sister met her fiance on guardian soul mates,....

i don't see anything wrong with internet dating - much more likely to yield a result than just going to the pub...

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