I have been with DP for 7 years exactly (anniversary was yesterday). We met (ahem) on a teenage chat site 5 years before we got together, and are a living breathing internet dating success story. I'm from Essex, he's from Wales, it's almost like Gavin and Stacey but in reverse...
Anyhoo. He moved to live with me in my 2nd year of uni. I then went abroad for a year as part of my degree course. He stayed in uni town, lived with some right nutters, just to wait for me to come back. Swoon.
Sinice then we have lived together and last year bought a house together. Helped eachother through the ups and downs of family bereavements, debts, enjoyed many holidays together, and are now enjoying going to our friends' weddings and our friends' babies' christenings.
But I'm still "living in sin" (as my nan would say) with a very lovely DP and no signs of baby or wedding on the horizon.
In my view, the next step is marriage. We both agree we want DC1 around 28/29, and he knows I want to be a Mrs before getting pg. I'm 26 now. So working backwards, assuming I get pg when I'm 28, and was married at least 3 months before, and saving up for a wedding takes 2 years, then we need to be engaged now.
I could be all post-modern and propose to him next year as it's a leap year, but somehow want this to be a bit of an old-fashioned engagement. I am truly the modern woman in all other respects, but feel this one act really does rest with the men.
I got a bit tipsy over the royal wedding weekend and told him he had until midnight on NYE this year to propose. Or else.
Don't know what 'or else' means but AIBU to be so desperate to get hitched that I gave him a deadline?!
AIBU?
to want to get married?
JobCarHouseNoBaby · 06/05/2011 16:30
oh fgs, you have bought a house together, you agree you want to get married and have kids. In that scenario a surprise proposal, or even a proposal seem rather daft! Just tell him, "lets set a date and book the Church".
You cant have an old fashioned engagement AFTER you have moved in together and bought a house, you numpty! 
Jobhousecarnobaby, I've already suggested what you should do if you want the big romantic gesture, you should move out, be aloof, and act all unconcerned. No offence, but you can't have it both ways, you can't share a bed, wash somebody's socks and see their skid marks and then expect romance.
You want it both ways, fgs 
. It can't be both ways. Cosy domesticity does not go hand in hand with hearts and flowers romance.
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I sort of guessed that threads like these would appear after the Royal Wedding. Putting aside the pros and cons of actual marriage, I think that, in the nicest way, you are guilty of trying to have it all ways.
You want to be a modern woman-and that is fine- but at the same time want a wildly romantic proposal. I'm sorry, but these do not happen when you are already living together with a mortgage.
If you do want this wildly romantic proposal, I would be aloof, distant and unavailable-bit difficult to do this when already living together, so, ultimately you need to move out.
Don't particularly agree with this stance, but if this wild romance is what you want, this is what you should do.
Though I do not understand why you've got a house together if it is not for life-unless you both see it as a savings plan and that you'll split difference if you split.
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