From a nursery nurse point of view, not saying that you have no right to be upset, but how it may come across from their side
- losing his comforter (found a few days later after I asked where it was)
- toys get lost all the time, we encourage parents not to bring in anything to valuable in case of loss or breakage, so far have not lost anything at my nursery but i know lots of parents have lost several comfort toys, one coming straight to mind that they are on the 3rd elephant since birth as they have lost all the others child is 2.
- leaving him in a dirty nappy
- could he have pooed as you arrived, just before you arrived, maybe 10 minutes before you arrived, and nursery nurse was doing nappies and hadn't got to him yet, did you change the nappy, or the worker? what did his bum look like, red sore, like he'd been sitting in it for a while?
3) no one apparently taking any time to interact with him (I am not there during the day but when I arrive staff are generally ignoring him and the other kids)
- often pick up times, are busy and staff are busy talking to all the parents, keeping the children engaged, this doesn't mean they ignore him all day.
4) dropping his afternoon bottle without telling me (I only discovered this today and it explains why he is so upset and starving by the time I get him home)
- in 1-2 year rooms children most likely drink from cups, he may be dropping it naturally if they are offering it in a cup instead of a bottle, or he may just refuse to drink it, as he is not 100% settled in the room as of yet.
5) putting him down for a nap at 12.20 when they know I am coming at 12.30 (on that occasion the excuse was that he "wasn't on the register"
- maybe the message wasn't passed along to all the nursery nurses, and was actually just a mix up
6) phoning me today to tell me I must come and collect him as he has hand foot and mouth, when he has been to the GP the same morning who confirmed his rash is an allergic reaction to something, and not hand foot and mouth. He is now excluded on the basis of nursery's diagnosis of hand foot and mouth...
- lots of doctors often tell parents its viral, when sometimes its not, maybe there is an outbreak and the nursery nurse had seen a lot of it that week, however unless there is an out break, HFM has no exclusion period unless the child is unwell with it.
I am not disagreeing with anything you say, but wanted to offer insight from the other side, do go with your gut instinct on this though, you'll only end up regretting it if you don't.