To think picking a 4yr old child up by their arm and throwing them on a sofa

[devonsmummy]

is totally unreasonable - followed by 4 mansize smacks to the bottom?

[GypsyMoth]

has he marked your son??

[Mummy2Bookie]

I'm sure your ds will get over it.

[Meglet]

Truly horrible. I don't smack but understand why people do it sometimes, but this was way over the top.

I hope your H has his tail between his legs and is going to apologise profusely. Although if he has done it before I'd be changing the locks.

[spidookly]

God, I thought this was going to be about horse play.

To do this in anger to a child to punish them is awful. :(

The poor child must have been terrified.

[purepurple]

I think you need to talk to him and find out if he thinks what he did was acceptable. Ask him about his relationship with his dad. was it happy? Did his dad hit him? Does he want his relationship with his son to be different? Or does he want his son to grow up being afraid of his own dad? He has a lot to think about.

[CUKAmbassador]

Sounds over the top to be honest. I'd be even more pissed off to find you'd posted it on an internet forum though.

There are sometimes a smack can be used, that doesn't sound like one. For him to then storm off sounds like he is extremely stressed and nothing can cause someone to pop more than a child who goes on and on and on and on and on.

[Thenonevent]

I would throw him out for that tbh, it would be over for me. Bullying fucker . Ask him if he feels good after attacking a defenceless child then tell him to get out. Can't see that you have much choice really.

[shmoz]

That behaviour is bang out of order and needs to be addressed asap

[Sirzy]

What you described isn't smacking, it's hitting. It's wrong to hit anyone, especially a child.

[sevendwarves]

Sorry but if my DH done that to DS he'd be very quickly told to fuck off.

[GeekLove]

What you are describing here is DV pure and simple. So the child is whining? That is no excuse children are meant to make mistakes. However as an adult he should no better. As others have said it's about his loss of control rather than a meaningful punishment. What would you have done if it was amstranger who assaulted your son?

[washnomore]

The thing is with smacking (and I have smacked in the past) is that it's generally far more about the smacker losing their temper than it is about the child receiving an appropriate punishment.

[onceamai]

Four hard smacks this time - how many more next time? You said your son retched afterwards. Don't waste any more time on here - get to a solicitor. Why do you even have to ask if you are being unreasonable about this. Was our husband abused as a child - does he know no better and require counselling? If he doesn't see his behaviour as unreasonable then he is not, IMO, a fit parent although I am aware that in some cultures it is considered appropriate to physically punish the child.

Having said all that mine have had the odd tap over the years - but not with force or violence.

[ILoveYouToo]

I'm not comletely anti smacking; I think it has its place if done only occasionally. But four smacks, and 'throwing' him on the sofa - that is really not ok.

[Ormirian]

Bastard!

That sounds like sheer temper not discipline.

He is totally wrong.

[magnolia74]

Sorry but you are ok with letting your son live like this?

To be hit 4 times by an adult is abuse ffs!

[DuplicitousBitch]

next time your dh whines about something, pick up a baseball bat and beat him - it is in his best interest after all.

[davidtennantsmistress]

kids need love security & the ability to be free to have a bad day - they can be disciplined/given boundaries without the use of hitting them (as you did). I always felt that hitting means a loss of control of the situation.

[FriedEggyAndSlippery]

How often does this happen?
Is your DS scared of him?

[HecateQueenOfTheNight]

ok. If he hit you, what would you do?

[devonsmummy]

He's never hit me but gets mad with DS much more Quickly than me. He has Smacked him hard before but thinks that's what kids need - always ends up us rowing about it.

[DuplicitousBitch]

that is a hateful thing to do. your poor ds

[davidtennantsmistress]

that's awful poor child.

You'd told him off & he'd had his punishment so that's the end of it tbh. very unreasonable - what's he usually like with DC? - although to be fair do as you wish to me, raise a hand to my child and it's another case.

[cookcleanerchaufferetc]

Is this the first time your husband has reacted like this? Or has he hurt you? Just wondering if there is a pattern or if it was a one off incident?