to be bewildered at GP's attitude to me?

[oprahfan]

Would like some honest feedback from you all, as I had an upsetting experience at the doctor's this morning.
I've been seeing a female GP once a month over the past 4 months, seeking meds for depression, which I've been on before, and are helpful. She has wanted to see me on each occasion, including filling in questionnaires each session about how i feel.
She hardly gives any eye contact and taps away into her computer the whole time, talking to me looking at the computer screen. She asked me what I was here for today, what meds and dose I was taking as she 'didn't look at notes' (they were there on the screen in front of her!)
I duly filled in the questionnaire, and she said, 'haven't looked at your scores or results', but there seems to be an improvement in you!!!!!!!!!!!!
She printed off prescription, and I asked, ' i find this very dificult to ask, but I've been having a few symptoms with my left breast for over a year now. Could you perhaps do an examination? I've been getting bruising,pain, I feel a lump on the right hand side of the breast, and I'm sore under my arm'.
She said, 'No, I'm running late today. You're going to have to make an appointment for another time. It takes 10 minutes, and I've got other people to see'.
AIBU to feel really shocked here? It has taken me a lot of courage to ask her, my partner has felt my breast and has been on at me to speak with a doctor for months now. It takes a lot of bottle to get my jugs out for him, never mind a GP!!!!!!!!!!
I hardly ever go to the GP's, never with a list of this or that, and believe in helping yourself as much as poss. I was so shocked I burst into tears!!!!!

[oprahfan]

Prettycandles

Thank you very much for your post, and i am amazed at how you picked up on the depression and plucking up courage issue, you have described my experience absolutely perfectly.

I was told by the practice manager that either the GP concerned or the manager would call me back. They didn't!!!!!!!??????

I won't leave it, it takes a lot for me to say something, but I know for sure this feels the totally right thing to do.

Thank you to everyone who has been good enough to take the time to give their opinion.

[PrettyCandles]

Maybe a breast exam does warrant a separate appointment. But when a patient being treated for depression lets the dr know quite clearly that she has mustered the courage to bring up an issue, then the dr should address that issue, not push it on. Even if it was to do a cursory exam and then to say"I'd like to take the time to give you a proper exam. Please make another appointment to come back next week."

As for one problem per visit - what nonsense! So many problems are interlnked, and what if a person has multiple problems? At my surgery you are asked to make a double-length appointment if you think you will need it.

The most popular GP at my surgery is the one who is always running late. IME that is because she takes the time to make sure she looks after each patient properly.

I thnk the OP was treated very shabbily.

[domeafavour]

Serzz, copy this into a thread of your own. Maybe in health section. Or even mental health. Your mum needs help bless her. Can you make an appt and go with her, make sure she gets seen properly.

[FabbyChic]

I dont agree she should have made another appointment, breast cancer caught early is treatable, left untreated it is a killer.

Time is of the essence it is not like a wart.

[serzz]

hi everyone, i am new to mumsnet, i have a similar issue and wonder if anyone can give me advice. my mum is not a well woman at all. she is depressed along with other things and has to take a total of 10 tablets a day for her problems. a few months ago i found out that she has been picking at her own skin, this may sound weird well it is but i will try an explain as best i can. she has had one hell of a terible life. she has always been a dooer kind of person. she is now 47 and doesnt hardly moove out the house. so she has alot of time on her hands now to think about things this is why i think she has started to do this. she will find a bit of skin on her body and start to pick it, she does this without even realising. she picks an picks at the bit of skin until it turn into a sore. then once it heals she continually picks at it. she has sores all over her from this. one has even got infected. now i have said that she needs help. she cannot stop doing this to herself. everytime she picks i tell her to stop an she does but as soon as i turn away shes at it again. it took me a long time to convince her to go the docs, so she went. her doc gave her cream! that was it. she said i tried to tell him but he didnt want to know. she asked if there was someone she could talk to about it he said no. so yesterday when i came home form work she filled me in on what had happend at her docs appointment earlier on in the day. she went in and had to see a diffrnt doctor. even tho i had made the appoinment for her specifically with her doc who knows what she is taking and that shes really not well thinking that this time he will have to listen. she was sent to a diffrnt doc. she began to tell him about this porblem shes having with her ears. then after that she mentioned about having hot flushes as its getting her really down. then she showed him the worst of all the sores she has done he looked and winced and gave her cream! she said i dont need cream i cant stop doing it to myself, i physically cannot stop it.she was asking him for advice on what to do about her harming herself and he just didnt care. he then ushered her out an said problems to many problems. see anne on your way out about the flushes but you have to many problems.my mum walked out then after really plucking up the courage to admit she was causing this harm to herself. she left the docs forgetting to see anne. so she had to go back. this was like 15 mins after she had that she remebered. she went back in and went to the desk the young girl there said can i help, my mum said yeh i need to see anne for an appointment. the girl said shes doin it now. my mum said erm no sorry love i have just come back in i havnt even give you my name. the girl asked her name got uo went into the back came back an said yeh shes doing it for your now sit over there. my mum then sat for 20 mins. she then went back tot he desk and spoke to a diffrnt girl, my mum said what she was waiting for the girl went in the back came back out an said anne is not even here!!! my poor mum who really isnt well had been sat there for 20 mins on her own because of this girl. i am so so angry i feel like i am going to burst. this is why she doesnt move out the house. the one time i get her to go out make an appointment for her myself, then everything just goes horrible for her. i have never felt more sorry for her in my life. she now will not even consider asking anyone for help regarding this issue and has lost complete faith and confidence in the gp. her notes will clearly state what kind of tablets shes taking an that she is not a well woman but they were obviusly diregared. i am still shaking with anger! what can i do about this anyone? i wanted to complain. it is because of this she is so depressed. she had a medical a few months before christmas an the doctor failed her so all her benefits got affected and now she has to appeal in march. the money she lives on has been basically halved. this is the 2nd time this has happend. i mean my mum will not even open a letter any more she is really ill. i am 25 an work full time, my sister is married with 2 children so she has her hands full. i just dont know how i am supposed to make this better for her? sorry for the life story . but its all getting abit much. any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. x

[monkeyflippers]

Considering it is a breast lump problem she should have done the examination anyway even if that did mean running late. Something like that is too important to delay.

[domeafavour]

actually i think you should complain.
it takes a lot of courage to talk about things that you are worried about and as a GP they should appreciate.
My sister had exactly the same thing, she had plucked up the courage to ask about depression and the gp said make another appt.
It's so maddening.
And yes they might run over, but I only ever take up 2 minutes, how come some people are in there for 20/30 minutes? I always have to wait in the surgery, always, and have never been more than 5 minutes, even including a breast exam

as far as I am concerned she didn't do her job properly and you should have the opportunity to complain

so there!!

[StuartDTB]

wow lots on this topic.

oprahfan, firstly you must be happy with your GP, if your not happy then change them. Secondly they are not God's, I hate the way people put them on a pedistal, your in charge and they are providing a service. Remember they are not doing you a favour, so take someone with you and before you go in write down everything you want to say. I used to have a GP that I had to manage, they would always try and fob you off, make sure you go in and say everything you need to, or hand them a list of problems and what you want them to do. eg. expert advise on this lump and don't leave until you have your answer or they refer you. Hope everything goes OK for you

[PhishFoodAddiction]

I'm glad I understood what you meant. I would have been upest too if I'd been spoken to in that abrupt manner.

I hope that the new GP is more understanding, and it's great that the practice manager took your concerns seriously and acted quickly.

At my doctors you tend to see whoever is available- but I try to book appointments in advance now so I see the same GP (she's not actually my own GP) and she tends to really listen to what I say and is very understanding.

[oprahfan]

Wow Phishfood !

You've really hit the nail on the head, good on you. I didn't have my ad's on repeat, although I would have liked that, the GP wanted to see me (to see how i was getting on with the meds).

I do like to strike up a rapport with people, and no, she certainly wasn't sensitive. Her manner was appalling, that's why I was so taken aback!!!!! It's perfectly reasonable to book another appt, but it was the way i was spoken to today that shocked me. It was hard to get that across in the original post.

My GP, who I had known for over 15 years, left over 3 years ago to go to a major hospital, so I was never assigned another specific GP (to my knowledge). She was great, and she showed a lot of sensitivity.

The practice manager has arranged for me to see a new partner (of the practice, not my other half!....)and they speak well of her already. The med centre staff treated me with respect, profession and were very quick indeed to listen to my concern. In fact, I spoke with the manager of reception of the practice, and she got the Practice Manager immediately. They are jolly decent to deal with, and always have been.

[eviscerateyourmemory]

It was reasonable for her to ask you to return for another appointment, though this should have been done in a sensitive way.
It sounds like you dont have much rapport with this GP though - Is there anyone else that you could see at the practice?

[PhishFoodAddiction]

Oprahfan, YANBU to be upset at the GPs manner towards you. I've just been to my GP today about my depression and she was very kind, which made it easier to open up to her. A bit of kindness and attention go a long way. I tend to get my ADs on repeat- and the times I do go back to the doctors I don't do the questionnaire.

Your GPs attitude was awful- she could have at least been sympathetic to the fact it was hard for you to bring up the problem with your breast. I don't think she was wrong to ask you to book another appt, but I think it was her manner which upset you and needs improving.

I hope the appt for the breast examination goes well.

[PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid]

YANBU to be bewildered at her attitude to your depression. She sounds crap - see a different GP in future. She wasn't BU about the breast exam though; it would take time to do properly and discuss afterwards, and you are only supposed to bring up one issue per appointment; otherwise book a double appt. It does sound like she was brusque and unpleasant about it though, and failed to appreciate that this was something that you'd had to pluck up courage to raise. Again - she sounds unpleasant, so I wouldn't touch her with a bargepole in future! Please don't let that put you off getting treatment for your depression though, and please please get the breast lump checked out.

[MumInBeds]

IMHO the GP was wrong to be so dismissive of you but not wrong to delay the exam if it would take more than the appointment time.

I think she should have explained the lack of time and while you were with her called through to reception to ask them to get you a 10min appointment to come back as soon as possible.

[mumbar]

Oprahfan - yanbu to be annoyed at the briskness of the GPs attitude. Unfortunatly there are many GPs who type whilst you talk and don't appear to be listening. We have one in our surgery who is brilliant - he listens/ looks at notes etc. I always see him with re DS allergies. Hopefully you'll find a GP in the surgery you can build a rapport with - and you'll feel more comfy with regards to discussing the depression and breast problems with.

[AnnOnimous]

So glad the practice manager has listened carefully to your genuine concerns about lack of attention and empathy.

Good luck for Tuesday, hope it turns out to be nothing, but well done you on getting it checked.

[AnyoneforTurps]

Totally unacceptable to be so brusque with you - anyone with a breast lump is frightened and needs reassurance. So YANBU at all to be upset.

Having said that, as a GP I do agree that it is very important not to rush an examination especially for something like a breast lump. If I had been your doctor, I would have tried to do the examination then and there if I could but if I was running very late and knew that I couldn't do it properly at the time, I would have made you an urgent appointment to come back asap - the same day if at all possible.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Yes I understand now, it just wasn't clear in your original post!

Well done you for making another appointment about it!

[oprahfan]

HELLO!Fanjo

I've known about the lump for about a year, it has got bigger and I tried to ignore it (STUPID ARSE, I KNOW!!!!!), and only the past few months I've had more symptoms. It took a hell of a load of courage to actually ask about an exam, and I know I've got to see to it. I felt an idiot for asking in the first place, scared, sick, and her attitude made things a whole lot worse tbh!!!!! I felt that I didn't matter in the least, was made to feel like an idiot, not treated with any dignity at all, and that's without getting my jugs out!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the last thing I want to do, and certainly the last thing I wanted to ask about.

roll on tuesday................

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

and I do think she probably heard you saying "a year" and thought that meant it wasn't urgent, you see.

She sounds totally distracted and not that great in her manner though.

Didn't mean to sound harsh, sorry if I did, was doing a million things at same time and just fired off a quick post.

Hope it's all sorted soon

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

oprahfan - I did read your whole post. You said:

"She printed off prescription, and I asked, ' i find this very dificult to ask, but I've been having a few symptoms with my left breast for over a year now. Could you perhaps do an examination? I've been getting bruising,pain, I feel a lump on the right hand side of the breast, and I'm sore under my arm'."

which didn't state that the symptoms had recently got worse, in any way.

She didn't sound too polite, I grant you.

I just meant if you have had the symptoms for a year it doesn't sound like it needed to be dealt with IMMEDIATELY, and another appointment would be better.

[oprahfan]

Hi Dockate

It really doesn't matter to me one bit if my appt is late, tbh, they usually do run 20 mins or so over generally, and people accept this. And I am sure most folks realise about time constraints. I certainly agree re; the rapport thing though. I was concerned over the months about her 'lack of interest' so to speak, but I know about my condition, how I'm affected and I am aware of when I need meds, so I wasn't too bothered about entering a long dialogue about it. She never asked my any questions anyway!!!!!!!!!!!! When I think back, that shows a lack of care in itself, even when I've answered consistently that I would like to be dead.

[dockate]

Hi. I'm sorry she was so brusque and dismissive; sounds like she was feeling the pressure of running late! It is good practice to repeat the PHQ-9 questionnaire frequently, but it does tend to get in the way of proper communication and can really inhibit a consultation on depression. It sounds as if you don't have a useful rapport; perhaps you should ask to see a different GP in future?

As regards the breast issue, while clearly it is very important, addressing it then and there would certainly take a good 10 minutes, and it deserves a Dr's full attention, not a rushed examination at the end of an appointment for something else. So I agree that a new appointment would be preferable.

Different GPs address the time constraints differently. One of my partners runs dead on time at every surgery and feels it would be rude to do anything else. therefore he is perfectly happy to say "No, I'm sorry, you have used all the time available and you need to book another appointment for this 8th problem on the list you came with". His own patients know this, and appreciate knowing they will always be seen on time. I, however, tend to address issues as they arise (within limits), and 'catch up' when patients have very minor problems that take me 3 or 4 minutes to sort out. Inevitably this means my surgeries nearly always run late, and occasionally someone gets stroppy about having to wait. I don't know which way is best, but it does help if patients are aware of the time constraints under which we work.

[oprahfan]

Hello Fanjo
Well, she was bloody rude to me tbh, and I only went in because she asked me to, would've preferred a repeat prescription. As i posted before, i was only there less than 2 minutes before i raised the 'breast' issue. Yes, noticed a small lump 'bout a year ago, it is larger, and I'm getting more symptoms now, for the past few months.
Sorry you didn't read my whole post.
If you've ever been in the situ, you hope things go away, don't want to bother gp in case they think you're daft, etc. I AM ALSO SCARED, TBH. It wasn't out of order to ask me to make an another appointment, not at all, but the way she just said,'no, I won't do an examination', etc, she was pretty horrid about it.
I have never, ever come across her attitude, she was plain uninterested and rude, and I've never been so taken aback in all my life.
I have had a really productive meeting with the practice manager, who was superb, and she was firstly disappointed that the GP hasn't been reading my notes or taking note of the results of questionnaires. She listened intently, which a GP should do in the first place, no question.
She will be meeting with this GP this afternoon, and I will be called at home before the day is out, either by the practice manager or the GP in question (that would be fun!!!!)She also made sure I had an appt made for an exam.
I may have depression, but I am not a fruitcake. I run my home, look after my children, I work. I know what events have led to my condition, I will have to deal with these events for the rest of my life. TBH i would rather be dead than have to deal with what this has done to me, it would be easier, but life ain't like that, is it?

I do appreciate that others have differing points of view, and I have taken them all on board, that's why I was asking in the first place, and for that, I thank you.

[Nando95]

Oh bless you some gps have no decent bedside manners at all. You need to get yourself checked out tho as soon as you can.
However with regards to what the gp said- I once read a leaflet from my docs which said that you should only really go to the gp with one medical problem at at time due to the time restraints on them. I know this doesnt make you feel better but if you did complain I dont think they would be able to do much as appointments are normally in 10 minute slots. x x