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AIBU?

To find 9 year olds have their own facebook page

33 replies

cece · 08/01/2011 23:58

I have just been on facebook and discovered that quite a lot of DD's class seem to have facebook profiles. They are 9 and 10 years old.

Some of them have cartoon pictures and have privacy on highest settings. However, some of them have their own pic (one of them is wearing a bikini) and their privacy settings are so low I could view their photos and so on.

Am I unreasonable to be shocked by this? or is it common practise for children this young to be on there?

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Lizmundo · 20/10/2011 13:57

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Lizmundo · 20/10/2011 13:55

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bibbitybobbityhat · 09/01/2011 15:50

I just wish more parents wouldn't give in to their dc's pestering.

If, say, 50% of a 12 year old's peer group wasn't on facebook then it might be a bit easier to persuade them to leave it for a year or two. But when everyone else is its very hard for the parents and the child to be different.

cupcakebakerer · 09/01/2011 15:43

I know it goes on but I think it's shocking. The 'sexy' profile picture thing in tweens is something I've come across due to younger family members and I think it's awful, terrible etc etc but what can you do? That's the way society is headed and if you allow your child to have a mobile then soon a FB account - hidden from parents if needs be - will be inevitable. If you let them around friend's houses there is also nothing to stop them setting one up from there or a different computer they have access to. Kids can be sneaky when it comes to 'fitting in'. But yes, I agree, it's worrying.

flippinggorgeous · 09/01/2011 15:33

DD is 9 and has her own FB account. I am in control of her password and privacy settings and she has to check with me when adding friends.

Most of her schoolfriends don't have an account yet but her cousins and friends abroad do, so she can keep in touch with them.

mum295 · 09/01/2011 15:23

I know a few kids who are on Facebook, family and kids of friends.

Two are girls aged 12/13 and both have been cyber-bullied on Facebook. And in general their posts and those of their friends are shocking.

On the positive side, because it's all in the open on Facebook, family can see what's happening and can (and have) intervened.

I have an account for my 2 year-old DD so that we can share photos, her "thoughts" and so on with close family and friends, but with very tight privacy control. And as soon as she can read/write, it will be shut down.

FabbyChic · 09/01/2011 13:04

I think it is up to the parent to determine whether or not their child is mature enough to go on Facebook.

My children are much older and have always had their own computers, we had three in the house at one point, one each.

We have grown up with them, and they continue to spend all their waking free time on them.

As do I unfortunately.

Such is the technological age, it's a way of life.

cece · 09/01/2011 12:58

sims2fan - that is exactly my concern with thi issue. That is the sort of thing that happened to me. I am a grown waman, yet it was still upsetting. Imagine how a 10 year old on the receiving end of that sort of treatment would feel/cope?

The age of limit of 13 is there for a reason surely?

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SantosLHalper · 09/01/2011 10:23

My dd's friend from school is 6 and has a fb page! Madness.

sims2fan · 09/01/2011 10:12

I know a 2 year old (he's now 3, but was 2 when he got it) who has his own Facebook page. Obviously it's not him who writes on it, and apparently it's so he can play petville etc. Personally I don't think 2 year olds should be playing computer games, let alone having FB, but perhaps I'm just oldfashioned!

Also, I think the parents who say they are strict about privacy settings etc are a little bit naive, because the real problems that occur with FB and pre-teens/teenagers are with their real friends (ie people they go to school with) online. I have seen some bitchy comments on my 11 year old cousin's page from her 'friends' that I know would have really upset me at that age. It is much easier to type things that you wouldn't say to someone's face, and then those comments are there in black and white, potentially forever, for the children to ponder and fret about. It is also not unheard of for other children to add to the comments, taking one side of the argument or another, so a little thing suddenly becomes a massive deal.

I was looking at some photos on a page about my old school, and one was of some girls much younger than me, but in the comments area was a long giggly slagging off about one of the girls in the picture, who had been a bit of an outcast at the school. The girls involved were by then only about 15 anyway, and were so unkind in their remarks. Right at the end, the girl concerned had written something like 'Thanks very much!' and the other had responded with such remarks as 'PMSL!' 'ROFL' 'OMG didn't know you were on FB!' etc.

jasper · 09/01/2011 03:05

I don;t think it is a big deal

ravenAK · 09/01/2011 03:03

FB's terms & conditions state that you should be 13 to use their service, & they reserve the right to boot off anyone who isn't.

This is absolutely industry standard for pretty much all internet forums - I believe it's US-led & relates to different laws re: data protection - ie. THEIR liability is far greater & more complex if they utilise data provided by someone under that age.

No, it isn't illegal to have a FB account if you are U13. They are a business who have chosen not to have customers of that age (or rather, have chosen to cover their arses with a statement to that effect) as it's a PITA for them.

When they first started out, they only catered to those with a University-linked email address.

Seriously - make a decision re: your dc & FB by all means, but it's not 'illegal'.

(& do be aware that unless you control their internet access on a fulltime basis, they don't need your permission to set up an account. Takes about 5 minutes).

reelingintheyears · 09/01/2011 01:13

Sounds like the usual story......
The rules are there for every one elses children.....
Not mine.
Or yours.

Just like the law.

cece · 09/01/2011 00:33

agentzigzag - far too busy on facebook

I just was a bit shocked really. DD hasn't even asked to have her own account and she often sees me on it. I don't think I'll tell he loads of her classmates are on it . Don't want to plant the idea in her head!

TBH it seems to be mostly the children who have all had mobile phones since they were 8 or 9 so I suppose it is the next step for them.

DD doesn't have a phone either

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Spidermama · 09/01/2011 00:29

I think FB guidelines say you have to be 14 but realistically there's not much they can or would do about it.

GreenEyesandHam · 09/01/2011 00:29

My eldest two children (10 & 11) both have FB accounts.

I'm such a bad parent. But they both have curfews, we've talked about what is, and what isn't allowed, I know the passwords to their accounts, and I've set their privacy settings.

Of course I would love it if they both settled down for a nice lego tower-building session of an evening, but that's not real life (for us anyway).

I can see it's not everyone's cup of tea, but it works ok for us

NanaNina · 09/01/2011 00:23

I thought it was illegal for under 16s to be on facebook, but I know some of them are. Presumably their parents let them. My niece is 14 and is on it and has very sensible parents but 8 or 9 is far too young. My soon to be 11 year old g/dght is pestering to go on but her wise mom and dad say NO.

LittleBeaut · 09/01/2011 00:17

My eldest is 8 and not mentioned going on himself yet... although he sees me on there all the time so I'm surprised because he likes to keep up with technology and bits and pieces like that. I have to say its more his dads influence all that... I would prefer kids to be kids, but seems they have to be growing up so fast these days - in my opinion!!

Although I have to say I'm not so sure I would let him even if he did ask.

penguin73 · 09/01/2011 00:14

was just pointing out that there are lots if threads that the OP can read if she wants to know people's opinions on it..particularly as this may not get as much of a response asit has been well and truly 'done' over the last few days.

So if I wasn't interested I wouldn't click, if I thought the OP might be interested in knowing that there are lots of threads here already she might like to read then I would.

Strange idea of rude methinks.

AgentZigzag · 09/01/2011 00:13

What? People getting emotional and divided about debates? Here? On AIBU??

I've heard it all now.

penguin73 · 09/01/2011 00:11

there's a few threads floating around...people tend to get a bit emotional about - and be a bit divided on - the issue!

Spidermama · 09/01/2011 00:10

I tend to ignore the 'hasn't this been done to death' style posts because that really depends on whether or not you've read those threads.

MN is a living breathing beast and of course things will come up regularly.

Pretty rude to say that anyway. If you're not interested in a subject, don't click.

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AgentZigzag · 09/01/2011 00:10

You must have had other more interesting things to do cece for it to pass you by?

AgentZigzag · 09/01/2011 00:10

I love subjects that have been done to death, especially if I've not posted about them before, it makes me feel as though I'm included somehow as my life is lacking in other areas.

There's no way I'd let 10 YO DD1 have a fb account, I'd hate to see her wither away with the boredom of playing all those fuck stupid games they have on it, with no point whatsoever.

Who would do that to their DC??

cece · 09/01/2011 00:07

penguin - has it? sorry it has all passed me by!

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