or is my friend being over the top - re nut allergy

[deaconblue]

Bit of background - friend's ds has a severe peanut allergy. He has been tested and is categorically not allergic to almonds.
I offered to bring some home made amaretti cup cakes to a party for the adults. Am making plain sponge cakes for the children. Her ds is not allergic to almonds (or almond flavouring) but she has texted me today to say she doesn't want any nut products whatsoever near him.
I'm a bit because neither she nor her ds needs to go anywhere the cakes and they don't contain anything that could hurt him anyway.

[deaconblue]

REcipe posted in recipe section :)

[TyraG]

Mmmm lemon cupcakes. I LOVE lemon.

[deaconblue]

Thanks all, will post amaretti recipe in recipe section later on. They are bloody gorgeous. I wish I'd checked the amaretti website like the poster below did as it seems the ingredient is apricot kernels anyway :)

[unfitmother]

Lemon cupcakes sound yummy!

[Shallishanti]

my dd is in exactly that situation, of being highly allergic to peanuts but able to eat almonds, I would agree with whoever said....it's just much simpler all round to say to everybody, 'no nuts'....otherwise people will start thinking 'is it hazelnuts she can have ? or cashews? ...' you have to think about what's manageable and likely to work, not just what's technically the case.

[eragon]

we avoid may contain . have learnt that its just not worth it.

can only make the judgement call to eat a may contain if i contact the manufacturer.

of course, there are higher risk foods, like chocolate, cakes, biscuits etc.

and i always remember a trace, legally can mean a piece of nut.

just our comfort zone around allergies.

my son never ate anything at a party , unless i had checked the label. he always brought his own food.

[BonniePrinceBilly]

YANBU. You want to make something that he is not allergic to, that he will not eat. Nothing wrong with that ESPECIALLY AS YOU WILL NOT MAKE THEM ANYWAY NOW SHE HAS ASKED YOU (for those who can't be arsed to read your previous comments )

[trixymalixy]

Meowy not Meier! Stupid phone!

[trixymalixy]

Meier, we've been told by our allergy specialist to disregard the "may contain" labels as they are just the manufacturers covering their backs and if we didn't an already restricted diet would become unworkable.

[MakemineaGandT]

YABU. Living with a life-threatening allergy is frightening and stressful. She is just trying to protect her son. Surely you can just make something else?

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

Could we have the recipe for the amaretti cakes, please OP?

[MeowyChristmasEveryone]

Did you all miss this comment in the OP's second post

"Seemed ott to me, especially as she happily gives him packaged food with "may have been made in a factory which handles nuts" labels on."

The mum in question sounds like she didn't want to be upstaged by your amaretti, OP. Bring 'em here to me and DH, we'll appreciate them!!!

[bumpybecky]

Rudolph buns much more festive than lemon

[frgr]

That's interesting nellyjane, i had no idea that potentially eating 1 type of item that's related to something you're allergic to could increase your sensitivity to the bad food. but then i've never been close to anyone with a life threatening allergy. good to know! must be horrible to have to watch out for these things all the time.

OP - you seem reasonable to change what you make and the lemon cake idea sounds better!

[TattyDevine]

Or mine. YABvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvU!

[emptyshell]

YABU... in that you haven't made and delivered these nice-sounding cupcakes to my stomach.

[TattyDevine]

Pipe down! She's said she's making lemon cupcakes! Sheesh.

[trixymalixy]

YABVVU. DS is allergic to lentils, but not to peas. He however can't eat split pea soup as there is such a high level of cross contamination in the factory.

I would imagine the same would be true of a factory handling nuts.

A severe allergic reaction is very scary and I don't blame her for not wanting to take any chances.

[LabMonkey]

I live with allergies - always have. I am not being difficult, attention seeking or picky I just don't enjoy vomiting while my throat closes and I struggle to breathe.

Testing doesn't catch everything - I'm still finding things that I react to. It's the protein that's a problem so technically I could have pure nut oil as a good quality oil shouldn't have any protein - doesn't mean I'm going to risk it!

I'm 30 and I know that in situations like this party I'd probably just not eat anything - really wee kids probably won't resist the temptation. I'm also old enough to accept that everyone else gets the exciting looking food and not mind - I remember it seeming very unfair as a kid.

[LittleMissHoHoHoFit]

How many cake recipes are there in the world that DON'T contain nuts???

Seriously?

Hundreds, no definitely thousands and thousands.

You want to make one that is using a nut by-product? and take it to a place where there is a small child with a nut allergy? Are YOU NUTS?

HER CHILD COULD DIE IF HE COMES INTO CONTACT WITH SOME NUTS. In time he could develop allergy against Almonds...

Why would you even go there?

Stop being silly, you will worry this poor mother, for the sake of a cake, it's just not worth it, not when it's so avoidable.

[TattyDevine]

I think the main problem is that it was communicated to you in a text. If she said it in person, she might have gone into more detail about why, including the very good reasons outlined above, or if nothing else you could see her facial expression and if you saw pure concern/resigness etc you may have felt more sympathy and focussed less on the technicalities. Perfectly normal. Trouble with texts really! YANBU but neither is she I suspect.

[KristinaM]

i woudl just make another type of cake and scoff all the ameretti ones myself

its not a big deal for a friend

[EdnaPontellier]

If it's amaretto you're flavouring them with, then some brands are made from apricot kernels rather than almonds - see this wiki link which says Disaronno state their amaretto is fine for people with nut allergies as it contains no nuts.

Don't know if that helps at all - your cakes may have other almondy content I guess!