to not buy MIL what she asked for for Christmas?

[nightowl1]

DH's mother dropped a Laura Ashley catalogue off at our house and pointed out a particular object that she wanted as a Christmas present. It costs about £20 more than I was planning on spending on any of our relatives this Christmas. We're trying not to spend too much as money is a bit tight at the moment and likely to get worse in the next 1-2 years. Besides, we had already planned out what we were going to get them for Christmas (or at least part of the present).

I just don't think MIL realises that her present request is out of our budget. I'm worried if I confront her about it directly she may take it the wrong way as she has helped us out in the past year and may feel she deserves something special for her. DH does not seem to have a problem with the expensive present (but generally he is not particularly great with money and he's part of the reason why we need to cut back this year!)

Would gift vouchers to contribute towards the present be a reasonable option?

[plupervert]

Oh, no I just meant that it is nice to be able to acknowledge the money/time someone else has spent on you, with a "nice" present. If you can't afford to acknowledge with a big present, it can be made special with a personal/well chosen present. Does that make more sense than what I said before?

Spending big is not to be sniffed at, of course. I'm really pleased that we can afford to get my mother a tomtom for Christmas, because I love her, and it's something which will make her life easier. However, in Christmases when I haven't had much money, I've spent more modestly, but strategically.

[ENormaSnob]

My post wasn't intended to be arsey or anything plupervert and I agree with your last post.

Tbh I think turning up with a catalogue that has one item at £45, specified for a present is really rude.

[ShoppingDays]

here (but possibly not quite big enough )

[plupervert]

Oh, good! Reciprocity is an issue for a lot of people, though, and it's good to discuss other ways of reciprocating besides that of Spending the Big Dosh. I am continually amazed by evidence that people are ashamed to admit it when they can't afford things. It's so sad.

[ShoppingDays]

There are some on eBay

here

here

here

here

here

[MackerelOfFact]

The IKEA one is really lovely! If I'd seen the two and was asked to pick which one was £13.99 from IKEA and which one was £45 from Laura Ashley, I'd have put them the other way round, for sure.

[AnathemaDevice]

If you do still want to get the Laura Ashley one, there's a discount code on home items here

Runs out today, but I'm sure if you do a quick search you'll find other discount vouchers.

(I'm extremely tight, and never buy anything without searching for discount codes first :) )

[MackerelOfFact]

But also, I've been into LA a couple of times in the last couple of weeks and both times they had a '50% off everything' sale in store. Which would make it more affordable.

[Chandon]

the code works! with the 30 percent off, it will only be 5 pounds over your budget, ie, doable

sorted!

[LucyGoose]

I am amazed at the resourcefulness here! Discount code and all!

[eToTheiPi]

Just to add my little bit, my mother has been really helpful recently. She's been helping in the house for 4 weeks after my c section (staying with us during the week as she lives 3 hours away). She's done the food shopping, cooked, cleaned, washed, ironed, looked after dd1. Had both dd's so I could sleep.

I could never repay her. We can't afford much this year either as on mat leave. She says that with 2 dd's I'll be doing it for them and she is paying it forward (she didn't use those words!) I think that's a lovely idea and hope I can be as useful to my two and they in turn help out their children.

What I'm trying to say is if you had money and your kids needed help either physical or financial, you wouldn't hesitate would you? And you certainly wouldn't dream of doing it do you could get the Christmas present you wanted. Use the discount voucher this time but may be worth your dh having a word with mil or fil to explain your situation. Also try topcashback or quidco to see if you can get cashback on your online purchases. Try and have a chilled out Christmas !