My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

to not buy MIL what she asked for for Christmas?

62 replies

nightowl1 · 29/11/2010 12:55

DH's mother dropped a Laura Ashley catalogue off at our house and pointed out a particular object that she wanted as a Christmas present. It costs about £20 more than I was planning on spending on any of our relatives this Christmas. We're trying not to spend too much as money is a bit tight at the moment and likely to get worse in the next 1-2 years. Besides, we had already planned out what we were going to get them for Christmas (or at least part of the present).

I just don't think MIL realises that her present request is out of our budget. I'm worried if I confront her about it directly she may take it the wrong way as she has helped us out in the past year and may feel she deserves something special for her. DH does not seem to have a problem with the expensive present (but generally he is not particularly great with money and he's part of the reason why we need to cut back this year!)

Would gift vouchers to contribute towards the present be a reasonable option?

OP posts:
Report
NeverArgueWithAnIdiot · 29/11/2010 13:23

How about something like this instead?

Report
traceybath · 29/11/2010 13:23

If she has given you lots of help could you re-adjust your budget to buy her that and cut back a bit on some other presents?

Report
earlyriser · 29/11/2010 13:24

That Ikea one, tracey, is so much lovlier than the Laura Ashley one.

Report
everythingiseverything · 29/11/2010 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fibilou · 29/11/2010 13:26

Do you have any other gifts you could buy in LA to make use of the 3 for 2 ?
Otherwise I say go with the vouchers. If she likes it that much she can put £20 towards it herself, surely ?

Report
TitianTinselTemptress · 29/11/2010 13:27

That's about 256 votes for Ikea then! Shock at her gall, coming round and basically demanding a specific present. Regardless of help she might have given you, that is unbelievably rude. She said herself something similar would be ok, so get her the Ikea one and I truly hope she will have the grace to be very grateful!

Report
LindyHemming · 29/11/2010 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lancelottie · 29/11/2010 13:27

Yep, go with Ikea one but make cakes to put under it.

Report
traceybath · 29/11/2010 13:28

Hey we could do this for all manner of gifts couldn't we Wink

Report
scaryteacher · 29/11/2010 13:30
Report
c0rns1lk · 29/11/2010 13:30

The IKEA one is lovely. I would consider it rude to ask for a specific present unless asked directly, but if MIL is happy with it and she's helped you a lot I would just get it. Maybe your dh has asked her to let him know hat she wanted?

Report
fedupofnamechanging · 29/11/2010 13:31

I too prefer the look of the ikea one.

Report
MortaIWombat · 29/11/2010 13:32
Report
JustBeachy · 29/11/2010 13:32
Report
classydiva · 29/11/2010 13:32

Gift vouchers for Laura Ashely is an ace idea!

Why not ring her and say that you would love to be able to purchase the gift she showed you but needs this year mean you have to cut back, so will gladly partial help with the cost by providing gift vouchers for half the expense.

Report
bally2 · 29/11/2010 13:34

The Ikea one is lovely. This reminds me of sil, a few years ago she asked myself and dp (her bro) to buy her daughter a toy camera thing. When i went to the toy shop it was ?60!! I couldnt believe shed have the nerve to ask for something so expensive!

This year she asked dp to buy clothes not toys for her two kids for christmas! DP was a bit disappointed as he likes to buy them toys to see their faces when they open it. he said he wanted to get them toys and she said 'well if you want to buy her toys, buy her clothes and a small toy aswell!!' i was gobsmacked, the cheek of her. anyway sorry for rant!!

Id go with the ikea one x

Report
classydiva · 29/11/2010 13:36

I think buyig children clothes for christmas is darn right mean. Kids should get toys.

Report
plupervert · 29/11/2010 13:37

And in order not to offend her, perhaps just give her the option of vouchers or the Ikea one, along with the budget explanation.

You don't have to tell her where the Ikea one is from, just send her a picture of it when asking her what she'd like to do.

If you right-click on the Ikea image, you will be given an option to "save image". Save it as "cakestand.jpg" to your desktop, and then attach it to your e-mail to her. She won't know how much it is, nor where it is from!

Then Lancelottie's idea of giving her cakes with it, too, is a lovely one! Smile

Report
nightowl1 · 29/11/2010 13:39

Ooh, I really like the Ikea one! Thank you everyone. I will check with DH to get a feel for for if she would be happy to receive it as a gift (I suspect she may be) and if not she'll have to make do with some LA gift vouchers instead.
Would definitely add the nice touches of cakes and wine:)

To put it into context, MIL has brought us some things for the house we needed (most expensive one being a washing machine last year!) and DD gets some nice presents from her too. However, my parents this year have helped out quite a bit more (in lots of different ways) but have basically said don't worry about any particular presents - it's the thought that counts!

It's not that I don't want to get everyone nice presents, but it may just be a couple more years before we can afford them all...

OP posts:
Report
plupervert · 29/11/2010 13:40

Then the "personal touch/effort" present of cupcakes is the way to go. That (or really clever present choices) is the only thing which trumps "amount spent on present" and makes sure neither side feels awkward or "used.

Report
MooMooFarm · 29/11/2010 13:45

YANBU - unless you are a child I think it it out of order to and very rude to tell people what you want them to buy you for Christmas (unless they have asked you of course).

I would definitely not buy what she asked and wouldn't comment on it further - or use my stock answer - 'oh yes that's nice, but I always love to buy people surprise presents' Grin

Report
Silver1 · 29/11/2010 13:47

Marks and Spencers have one as well and closer to your budget here

Report

Newsletters you might like

Discover Exclusive Savings!

Sign up to our Money Saver newsletter now and receive exclusive deals and hot tips on where to find the biggest online bargains, tailored just for Mumsnetters.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Parent-Approved Gems Await!

Subscribe to our weekly Swears By newsletter and receive handpicked recommendations for parents, by parents, every Sunday.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Guacamohohohole · 29/11/2010 13:47

I agree with everyone, the Ikea one is the nicest! Getting your DD to make some festive cupcakes will be a nice added touch!

Report
Fibilou · 29/11/2010 13:52

plupervert, do you really think that people help out their family expecting to get a really decent Christmas present Shock

My parents have always helped us out significantly, both financially and practically yet don't expect anything back for it. They do it because they want to. I would never expect anything back for doing someone a favour. Maybe my family is just odd.

Report
ENormaSnob · 29/11/2010 13:57

Presumably she didn't help you out in order to gain a bigger pressie so yanbu.

The Ikea one is lovely and I think the cakes to go with it is a fabulous idea.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.