Judginess at toddlers in buggies...

[flootshoot]

This is just going to be a rant but it's really starting to get on my tits.

My cousin is a lovely woman, educated, kind, intelligent but since she had children she's so damn judgemental!! We live far apart but text often, usually things like 'you'll never guess what DS did today' you know the sort of thing.

I decided to pick her brains about double buggies as DS will be just two when DD comes along and she has a similar age gap between hers. Well. This is obviously a subject she feels rather strongly about...... No, she didn't get a double buggy. She made her DS walk. Fair enough, but she then went on to say that she often sees parents pushing toddlers about and she thinks they're daft and 'making their children lazy'. I did point out tactfully that perhaps some people's circumstances were different, perhaps they needed to push their kids about? She sort of conceded and we left it there. But now I'm getting the brunt of her judginess. Everytime I mention something even vaguely related to walking (eg. buying DS some wellies) I get a message back with an anecdote about the latest child she's seen who is 'too old' to be in a buggy.

Now, the irony is that she drives! And she lives in a suburb with nothing nearby so she drives everywhere. So although her DS walks, he doesn't have to walk very far, nor does he ever have to walk from A to B in a time limit. I don't drive. If I need to be somewhere on time and can't dawdle it's the buggy. If it's pissing rain and howling a gale, the next best thing to driving is to bundle DS up in a buggy with a footmuff and rain cover (he's not even 2 yet BTW). If I have shopping to pick up it's much easier and safer to load the buggy with shopping bags and DS than to try and lug it all home and hang on to a toddler with no road sense.

Her latest text was about a school age child she'd seen in a buggy and uniform on. Apprently said child 'didn't look disabled'. But they might have been, mightn't they? Or maybe they are a pre-schooler with a 5 mile walk home. I find it amusing that she's doing all this judging from her nice toasty warm car, and probably wouldn't bat an eyelid if the same child was driven half a mile home.

Well done for getting this far....

The more she goes on, the more I start to doubt myself. AI really BU to think that it might be appropriate to our circumstances to get a double buggy???!

[bubblebabeuk]

True NonblondGirl, amazing how your parents remember things being when they brought up there kids, verses the actual reality. the way my Mum talks you'd think she struggled 20 miles everyday to buy milk, my Granny told me it was less than a mile in reality, and definately not every day! LOL just trying to combat my mother's current bugbear that her babies were potty trained by 7 months this week and that my 9 week old will probably be developmentally delayed because I won't give him pureed carrot! parents don't you just love them!

[NonBlondGirl]

Just seen a photo of Britney Spears with her boys who are 4 and 5 IN THEIR BUGGIES...thats too old isn't it

Maybe it a safety issue - I am not used to be surround and followed everywhere at importunated moments by a pack of mad photographer with seemingly no regard for anyone else safety - but I expect for a small DC it could be very scary.

bubblebabeuk - your not alone MIL insisted she carried DH everywhere and never used or needed a buggy - the photos of his childhood always in a buggy

[oldnewmummy]

My son is 4 in January ad I've just ordered a cheapy buggy from ebay because our existing one's broken.

I've had 2 hernia operations (costing about $20,000 each in a country with no NHS) and the doc said never to carry more than 10kg again as it might re-occur.

If I'm out on my own with 18kg son and he can't/won't walk I NEED a buggy.

[seeker]

My friend has 3 children at Primary school - she has a 2 mile walk to school and back. No car. She has a push chair - and the children take turns to ride in it/push it. It makes her life soooo much easier - who wants a tired year 1 to have to walk 4 miles a day juat to make a point?

[bubblebabeuk]

Get a double buggy! I have an age gap of 11 months, both DD2 and DS1 were premmies as well. when I ws pregnant with DS1 my family (don't you just love them) pushed me in the direction of a single (worked for my mum and various aunts apparently), sadly because Ds1 was born prematurely and by C-section then infections and complications, I just wasn't well enough or able to sling him when he did come out of hospital. the double buggy literally saved my sanity. My DD2 now 15 months (13 months corrected)has literally only just started walking properly now, and there is no way I would trust her to walk next to the pram, even with reins. in brief coz I waffle far to much (I Know :)) get a double, why make life harder than it already is with two little ones? and please text her a snotty response about driving kids everywhere and ironically now my mum admits that her single was an old style silver cross with a toddler seat on the top! Single my ass

[Beavermum]

Get a buggy

DS is 6 and has always been a good wlaker because we (my DH actually) have nmade him walk everywhere. However, today on the walk to and from the post office (£ mile round trip) plus stop and market fruit and veg stall in the p*ing rain with my dry cleaning and raging period pain when he started to whinge what I wouldn't have given for a buggy. Also DH who is SAHD used to power walk and lost loads of weight since DS too okd for buggy obviously walk slower admiring every slug. leave intersting dog poo etc so DH has put on weight and less fit.

People are extraodinary in what they feel able to comment on. We were on holiday in OSuthwold when ds was 2 yr 9mths we went on a wlak 6 miles round trip he wlaked every step of the way. We finished in the high sreet and we went in the bakers to buy a cake. He then threw one cos I wouldnt take him in the toy shop next door (obviously v v ttired) I strapped him in buggy and pushed the 5 min walk to where we were staying. He wwas still crying and this woman wlaked passed and said to her husband in a voice I was clearly meant to hear "that child is far to big to be in a buggy"

I was livid, gave DH buggy and stormed after her calling excuse me excuse me she turned and I let rip......[Blush]

[Diziet]

Get a double!!! I have a Phil & Teds for sale if your're interested!
I can drive but don't always have the car, plus both my DC's walked very late and DS2 has a heart condition, so although he's 3.5, he does get rather tired, bless him. (when he does walk it's like he's been on the cooking sherry! ) I have a little umbrella fold thing I use most of the time for him now.
A double that can be converted back to a single, like a Phil & Teds, is a brilliant buy IMO, I got so much use out of mine, only downside has been all the punctures - round my way if it's not broken glass it's dog poo!

[Goldenbear]

YANBU atall as 2 is no age to go in a buggy. I hesitate with my 3.4 year old but he is good on his scooter and has a lot of energy so no need really.

Mind you I judged today when I saw what looked like a 41/2 year old in a double buggy that has the tray attachments so made him look even bigger squashed into the seat. I judged further as he was eating a huge bag of doritos! Equally, this was on the pier so I thought he could have done with the exercise, it wasn't as if the family were out shopping.

However, I did feel it was wrong of me to judge as he may have been sitting in it for a number of reasons.

[KarmaDevil]

Gawd my (just) 4 year old sometimes goes in the buggy if we're going to be out all day. She sometimes has a nap in the day still and there's no way I can carry her now. Also when she comes out of nursery she's very tired so goes in it then too.

Take no notice and get your double buggy.

[dexifehatz]

Just seen a photo of Britney Spears with her boys who are 4 and 5 IN THEIR BUGGIES...thats too old isn't it?

[Abcinthia]

YANBU, get a double buggy. My DD is 3 and I sometimes push her around in her pushchair becuase I live in a hilly area and mainly walk (I can't drive and the buses are terrible at times). My DD would never make it up all the steep hills and it's just too much to carry her and bags of shopping.

[YaddahYaddahYaddah]

oooh her head would explode in my house

DS1 would still occassionally get int he buggy (was a P&T) if it was raining and this was when he was in school (aged 5) it was this year he stopped using it though. I didn't have a car and it was the easiers way to get though the pouring rain and a speed that exceeded child pace

DS2 hasn't been in the buggy for a good while because I now have a car.

Fiddly with her engine* and put the car out of use then see how judgy she is about buggy use

• don't really it might be a little dangerous

[thumbwitch]

another thread I'm on, started by a newbie - it's on The List, apparently.
here you are if you're interested.

[rodformyownback]

"many MNers apparently consider 3 is too old for a buggy"

Thumbwitch what makes you say that? I haven't got that impression from this thread at all! Have more people got their judgey pants on on other threads?

I said I was planning to use a buggy board for my almost 3 year old - not because I think he's too old for the buggy, just he's almost old enough to manage without for the kind of journeys we make and I have other considerations too. Surely not the same thing!

[misdee]

dd4 is 2 today. her baby brother is due next month.

she has only been walking a couple of months so cant walk far plus has hypermobility.

we have a double waiting, plus a single and a lot of slings.

[thumbwitch]

Ha.
I only found out a day or so ago that many MNers apparently consider 3 is too old for a buggy.
I plan to keep taking DS (currently 2.11) around in a buggy when and where required - home from playgroup, for e.g. (where he has been running around like a nutter for 2 hours and is usually knackered - I'm not carrying him home). Or, around large country shows which take hours to walk around; perhaps sometimes when we go shopping, as it is a useful deterrent when he's being an utter brat (rare but happens) and is good for carrying the shopping if he's not.

Hopefully by the time he is 3.6 or thereabouts we will be able to dispense with it - but certainly not in a couple of weeks when he turns 3.

As for your cousin - hypocritical or what! Driving her DC everywhere will make them far more lazy than having the buggy to hand and allowing the older one to walk part of the way - at least then they have the choice of walking and then riding when tired, rather than being carted around willy-nilly.

[CinnabarRed]

OP - there's a 2.5 year gap between mine, and just like you I use a sling for DS2 when DS1 is using the buggy (we have one of those Maclarens that can go flat so is suitable from birth - I just need to adjust the straps if I switch from DS2 to DS1 using it).

TBH the sling's the best thing I ever bought. It's worked out brilliantly. I have the Kari-Me, and I still use it every day even now DS2 is 7 months and 19lb. It was invaluable when DS2 was a newborn because he could sleep in it when I did stuff with DS1 (including soft play!) or DS1's bedtime, and it's still the best option for shopping - DS1 walks next to the trolley and helps, DS2 goes in the sling.

In the rain, DS1 goes in the buggy with the raincover, and DS2 goes in the sling - I pull the material over his arms and legs to keep them dry, and with his rain hat on his face and head stay warm and dry too (my head, neck and body shelter his head from the rain).

All the best with your DD!

[LadyFnarFnar]

Ah bollocks to her, it's easy to be high and mighty when you have a nice dry car to get you everywhere. Ds1 was 3 when ds2 was born last year.

I didn't get a double buggy but in hindsight I would have. Trudging up and down with a whingy 3yo is so not fun, especially in the wind/rain/snow.

I hate the way people assume you have access to a car these days. I can't count the amount of times I have told people I don't drive, who then go on to say "get your dp to drive you". Erm he doesn't drive either, the faces are so funny. No wonder there's about 3 cars per house round here, moi?

[Meglet]

If you want to see her explode send her to me - 4yo and 2yo in phil & teds. I don't have time to dawdle in the rain with a toddler. He walks when it's nice and town isn't busy and he can clamber in the back seat when we are rushing.

[ratspeaker]

Ignore her, bet her kids nap in the car seats, walk a little, get put in supermarket trolley, back in car seat, nap walk into house


Unless you want to go everywhere at the pace of a tired 2/3 year old get a double buggy
The other option is carrying the tired toddler and pushing a buggy or packing a sling to put the baby in while the toddler goes in the buggy

[Thruaglassdarkly]

Massively ignore her remarks. She's out of order. End of.

[ilikemrclooney]

I don't drive. Had and a two and a half year age gap and bought a phil and teds and although most of my friends, especialy car owners managed fine without a double i would have really missed it. Sometimes a two or even three year old just needs to be safely contained and it sit and relax. And sometimes i just needed to walk at a grown up pace, without having to interact with my children for just ten mintues or so. I can remember a few times where the option of being able to just strap them in and walk saved me from melt down. DS hopped in and out of the back of the phil and teds and it was nice and easy to push with or without him. There really is no need for people to get their knickers in a twist over this and i would imagine that a child who doesn't routinely travel in cars does more walking overall than one that does even if he or she has a pram.

[lola0109]

19 months between my two and I got a double buggy (silver cross pop duo FWIW) and I couldn't have lived without it. Now DD1, 2.2yo is quite happy to walk BUT i still take double buggy as she gets lazy tired and starts to dawdle which is a PITA if we are in a rush.

She still naps for at least an hour a day so I still need the buggy, hoping that a buggy board will help once she's a bit older and cut down on the dawdling! :)

[NonBlondGirl]

I found reins then little light bags with straps
found here www.mothercare.com/Little-Life-Toddler-Daysack-Ladybird/dp/B00133O1TE?_encoding=UTF8& and a very strict policy on them holding hand/pushchair stopped them running off.

We tried a buggy board when eldest DC was old enough - would not have a bar of it until second DC was big enough to try it then .

That is why we ended up with buggypod - though wish we had brought it sooner - a lot of the reviews put us off. It is not good round shops - it is wider than a side by side but was great with public transport.

You really do have to look at what is best for your circumstances.

[pippylongstockings]

There is 23 months between my 2 DS - I had a double buggy for nearly a year. I live in a city and can drive but don't have a car most of the time. When DS1 was nearly 3, I got a buggy board, as in i could trust him to walk safely some of the time but if needed to get somewhere in a hurry then he had to hop on.

It really depends on your child though - my DS2 was a much more compliant and trust worthy child, and I ditched his buggy shortly after his 3rd birthday. Lots of people comment of how he walks every where but he really doesn't mind!