Feeling picked on by HV but may be over-sensitive. Appreciate any thoughts.

[abigboydidit]

So...here goes! DS is 6 months old and was EBF till we started BLW at the weekend. I gave him porridge fingers today and he had an instant and fairly severe reaction to the cows milk, so I called the HV to check what the next step was. She was perfectly pleasant but made more than one comment which I felt implied that the fact that DS was EBF may have contributed to masked the problem. For example, she asked how he reacted to formula and when I said he'd never had any she replied that no wonder cows milk was a shock to his system. The other comments were similar, nothing offensive and she was polite (one was about how hard it is when you breast feeding mothers seem to think you're doing the right thing by only giving breast milk... Erm, yes. In fact I though science agreed with us breast feeding mothers?!).

So, I have to go back tomorrow to see her & I would like to speak to her about how the comments made me feel (not in a nasty way! Just a chat to make her aware how her comments could be interpreted) but am worried that the emotion of everything that happened has made me super sensitive and I'm actually being a fanny totally ridiculous.

So - what do you think? Am afraid I can't remember all the comments word for word but it was really just a lot of sighing about how this could have been avoided/picked up earlier if I'd only given DS something other than BM. Don't hold back if am being silly - I'm feeling like a rotten Mummy at the moment so it may just be my attempt to deflect the guilt-trip!

Fortified Oatly? I'll look out for that - is soya milk a no go then? Plan to continue to BF till he's a year old anyways (work permitting), especially now this has happened but I'd like to be able to give him breakfast cereals etc.

Sometimes they are just beyond belief. I saw a consultant aged 12, and when I was 25 I asked to be referred again, only to be told I already had been. I asked if there had been no development in medicine over the last 13 years and got my referral
I was anaphylactic allergy to eggs as a baby and stopped breathing several times (mum ate egg not realised and I was BF)
Now not allergic but have cholinergic urticaria which is a PITA and uncontrollable with meds

Well done you for standing your ground! Great you've got the referral, that's often the biggest battle. When you do get to see the consultant, they should also refer you to a nutritionist.

But - to cut the nutritionist's advice right down to the bare essentials - so long as they are getting enough calories from whatever source, and also having another source of calcium at least 3x a day, then no problem (for us, that is unsweetened soya milk 2x a day and 1x soya yog or pudding - all fortified with calcium).

As you are still BF, then you don't need to worry at all at the moment, its all he needs. For mixing with cereal etc, if its not a major part of his diet (ie not the milk he drinks), then you can use any of the alternative 'milks'. Not goats/sheeps milk, as they have very similar proteins so you should treat as if they are cows milk. But oat or soya milk - make sure you get the calcium fortified one.

However - re soya - quite a high proportion of those allergic to CMP are also allergic to soya (I think around 50%). So either introduce carefully, or avoid for now. We never had a problem with it, thank goodness, but it would be a right PITA to have soya as well as dairy ruled out.

If, in the future, you want to stop BF before the age of 2, then you need a specialist hypoallergenic formula eg nutramigen or neocate. They taste vile, but the babies do get used to them if you introduce them gradually. Your consultant can prescribe them. After the age of 2 its fine to use soya or oat milk (fortified).

And well done again for standing up to your ignorant GP. I wish experiences like this were isolated, but unfortunately they are not. I remember taking DD1 into the GP as I thought she had developed asthma, to be told 'we don't like to diagnose them this young, lets wait and see'. A week later she was hospitalised with a serious asthma attack. And I have many more stories like that. Parents know their kids best and the doctors should blooming well listen. Rant over You got the result in the end.

well done!

i agree, dont give him soya untill he has had tests to see if he has an issue with that as well. a high % of people allergic to cows milk protein also have soya allergy as well. also dont be tempted to try him with other animal milks just yet.

for cooking you could use expressed breastmilk, or oatly milk.

with regards to breastfeedding, ideally you should start following a dairy free diet. you might also notice a knock on effect of it clearing up any skin issues he has. dd4 eczema cleared completely when i went dairy free and was breastfeeding, and hasnt made an reapparence.

the soya thing for me was really personal preference. I know plenty of people will swear blind there is no issue with it, but I feel it may have risks and until I am 100% happy that it isn't risky I am not about to use it too frequently.

that isn't to say we don't have soya at all. the boys eat soya yoghurts, and we eat a fair bit of tofu, i just don't want them to have too much and the Oatly tastes nicer (imo) and is better when heated, doesn't split so easily.

soya is bad for the environment too, I believe a large proportion is GM and large areas of forest are cleared for it to be grown, so it isn't just health implications that I am worried about iyswim, although the possibility that it could affect fertility, particularly in boys is just another reason to limit exposure to it.

that's all just my own opinion though... there's a lot of stuff o0ut there on the internet about it, arguing both sides!

Your GP is a twunt. Well done for getting a referral. Keep pushing!

I agree with thisisyesterday re: soya milk. Firstly, it is not recommended for young babies especially boys due to high levels of phyto-oestrogens and secondly many children with milk allergy are also allergic to soya.
You should be prescribed a hypoallergenic formula like Nutramigen as this more nutrients than normal milk substitutes. I know you are bf so this is not such a problem but it is best to try to get them used to the yucky taste as early as possible so if you do decide to give up bf at some point, it's a much easier transition. You might find you will need to mix it with bm to get your little one to drink it at first but they will get used to it eventually. I had to get my consultant to write to the GP to explain that they needed to prescribe hypoallergenic formula instead of soya formula for these reasons: www.bda.uk.com/publications/PaediatricGroupGuidelineSoyInfantFormulas.pdf

Thanks everyone. That's really helpful. I think it's a 10-12 week wait for the clinic so all weaning advice is really appreciated as I'm terrified reluctant to try him with anything else which may cause a reaction. The GP said he "wasn't an expert on weaning" (glad he's got some insight into his limitations..) which was his reason for refusing to prescribe the formula and he fobbed me back onto the HV..which is where this whole story began!

I just called her and was fairly to the point with regards to what support I felt I needed and (I think she's smelling a complaint brewing) she was excellent and contacted the hospital dietician who will call me over the next couple of days as an interrim measure. For the first time all week, am feeling hopeful!