Feeling picked on by HV but may be over-sensitive. Appreciate any thoughts.

[abigboydidit]

So...here goes! DS is 6 months old and was EBF till we started BLW at the weekend. I gave him porridge fingers today and he had an instant and fairly severe reaction to the cows milk, so I called the HV to check what the next step was. She was perfectly pleasant but made more than one comment which I felt implied that the fact that DS was EBF may have contributed to masked the problem. For example, she asked how he reacted to formula and when I said he'd never had any she replied that no wonder cows milk was a shock to his system. The other comments were similar, nothing offensive and she was polite (one was about how hard it is when you breast feeding mothers seem to think you're doing the right thing by only giving breast milk... Erm, yes. In fact I though science agreed with us breast feeding mothers?!).

So, I have to go back tomorrow to see her & I would like to speak to her about how the comments made me feel (not in a nasty way! Just a chat to make her aware how her comments could be interpreted) but am worried that the emotion of everything that happened has made me super sensitive and I'm actually being a fanny totally ridiculous.

So - what do you think? Am afraid I can't remember all the comments word for word but it was really just a lot of sighing about how this could have been avoided/picked up earlier if I'd only given DS something other than BM. Don't hold back if am being silly - I'm feeling like a rotten Mummy at the moment so it may just be my attempt to deflect the guilt-trip!

Thanks for the NICE tip-off! Have read and digested.. Heading off in under an hour and have decided to refuse the challenge test (see - even picking up the lingo!). Totally appreciate what everyone has said about not wasting my time on the HV but I feel for my own confidence that I need to speak to her. Have decided that if there's any doubt in my mind that she's not listening I will follow up with a letter to the GP practice. I just think that a letter out of the blue would be slightly unfair, as I didn't really stick up for myself during the original conversation as I was too busy trying to hide wibbly bottom lip so she's probably blissfully unaware as to how much she upset me. I'll let you know how I get on!

Off to get some medicinal chocolate to gird my loins..

Good luck with the HV, you sound very brave!

Stating the obvious I know, but be careful with the weaning now, until you get a referral and tested for other allergies (which can take months unfortunately). Egg allergy often goes hand in hand with CMP allergy, and there are a myriad of other potential allergens. So try to just introduce one new food item at a time, so you can pinpoint the food that causes any reaction. Its a bit of a shocker to get your head round, but once you do its really not too bad (OK, its a PITA, but there could be worse things...!). Good luck.

"The HV initially advised me to try him with a bit more but I queried this"

Oh my dear god. The women needs severely dealing with. This had the POTENTIAL (although clearly not with you as a mother, thank goodness) to be REALLY serious.

"Am not an aggressive, confrontational type"

Most people aren't :) But if you can bring yourself to make a complaint you will be reducing the risk that some else's baby will be put at risk. You don't need to confront her. You could make a complaint to the practise manager.

"yep - my boob milk clearly doesn't cut it!"

Aww, you know this, but I'm going to say it anyway. FFing increases the risks of allergies and intolerances. If you'd given formula he would have had a serious reaction as a newborn (terrifying thought) if it's milk he's allergic to. BFing doesn't remove the chance of him getting allergies, it just means that fewer BF babies will have allergies than FF babies. Some BF babies still will.

"The part I'm dreading is that she also queried the oats Vs milk issue and has asked me to bring some milk/yoghurt with me to the appt to show them his reaction in a safe environment (ie with an EpiPen on standby)."

NONONO!!! Oops, I'm not supposed to tell you what to do but as you say, you can't trust a woman in a potentially dangerous situation who doesn't know what TF she's talking about! Oh I am STEAMING. I'm supposed to be working but have just passed two customers to a colleague so I can write this, I am SO cross.

"Or is this common practice to ensure if he is a high risk that I am aware and know how to treat it?"

He will need testing, but with a fricking expert, not someone who jokes that you should try it again at home.

I would request, nay, DEMAND an urgent referral to an allergy specialist.

I would be making a complaint!

Organic has put it perfectly.

Retraining is needed here urgently.

I'm kind of glad you think so, crikey because this thread has turned my lunch from a healthy salad into a beige sarnie and sausage roll with the anger, frustration and worry it's generated!

strokes abigboydidit's and organiccarrotcake's forehead soothingly

I cannot believe the HV thought it would be ok to test his reaction in an uncontrolled setting in the community with an epipen on standby ! Should she have a blue-light ambulance ready and waiting as well?

Ignore her. See the GP, get the referral, keep off dairy.

oh. my. god

this woman is not just uninformed she is dangerous!!!]]

you HAVE to make a complaint. otherwise the next time she does this she could end up with a dead child on her hands.
I am being absolutely serious here.

i am utterly gobsmacked that she suggested you bring milk in and try him with it, given the severity of his initial reaction. I am just, stunned.

:

this "method" most certainly is NOT a good way of testing his sensitivity. no HCP in their right mind woudl advise you do this.

Thanks truthsweet

She is mad, and as such should be reported.

My little boy had a severe reaction to raw egg (I didn't know the thing I gave him had raw egg....we were on holiday) and ended up in hospital for 48 hours. When we got back to the UK we were referred to an allergy specialist. They only do a challenge test thing a) When the skin prick tests come back negative and b) In a hospital department specialising in allergies. Her suggestion that you just try him on a bit more is totally irresponsible.

I would get some piriton and have it on hand just in case of accidental eating of dairy in future - it gets harder and harder at playgroups etc if other kids have food with them once they are on the move.

I have some friends with kids with allergies and have found their experiences to vary widely in terms of how seriously they were taken by healthcare professionals. One friend's daughter had a reaction to cashew nuts serious enough that even with piriton given immediately she still went blue and to hospital in an ambulance. And yet when she took her to the GP for referral the GP said it wasn't worth it as it might never happen again She had to fight for a referral.

How did it go this afternoon?

Hi all - sorry for delay. Been hectic afternoon and now DS getting cranky and tired so will try a quick summary!

In brief - didn't go well! HV was actually leaving as I arrived so didn't get a chance to say more than a hello. She asked if I'd given the milk, I replied "no" and she just said she was in a rush and went into the office to ask her nurse colleague to weigh DS. While weighing him, the nurse pointed out the scratches on his nose and I mentioned it had been a scratch fest after a reaction to milk. She said the HV had told her all about it and she couldn't believe I hadn't given him milk..until the HV explained I was a BF Mum. She then said to DS - "your Mummy's going to have to accept she can't feed you forever".

I realised at this point there was no point trying to talk to them and intend to draft a letter of complaint tonight. I have contacted my BF peer supporter and she says she'd be willing to give them an inservice so I plan to suggest this and additional training in my letter.

As for the allergy itself. The Doc insisted it didn't sound like a cows milk allergy as DS had no digestive type symptoms (no vomiting or upset stomach) - only a skin reaction (which is a fair point). He said he wouldn't refer to specialist until we had tried DS again with a spoonful of milk as he doubted there would be any issue unless it touched his face. I said I wasn't happy with that and basically we went round in circles. I said I'd ask for a second opinion - he said I was welcome to but the practice GPs will all give the same answer. He actually put up quite a convincing argument re why this was the case so I'm completely lost now & unsure if am just being obstinate. I have a bottle of Allerief syrup home with me & I feel completely overwhelmed.

So much for keeping it brief! Thanks everyone for your support this far.

PS - got any sausage roll going begging organiccarrotcake?? I think I need some stodge..

you need to see a different gp and get a referral to allergy clinic

DO NOT GIVE YOUR BABY ANY MORE COWS MILK

dd4 had a reaction at the same age to your ds to the same breakfast, porriage and milk (might be a pic on my profile).

she did not have a reaction involiving the digestive system. no sickness, no runny tummy.

she is anaphylatic to milk, egg and nuts.

god your GP sounds as bad as the HV!

an intolerance normally manifests itself in stomach upsets etc... because your body cannot digest it

an allergic reaction is an immune response and red patches, hives, welts on contact with the substance is normal and common as an allergic reaction.

get reading up on allergies (not intolerances) then go back and see a different GP and ask (or demand) a referral to the paediatric allergy specialist

yes, there is a pic, i tested dd4 at home with a fingertip touch on the back of her neck, and took pics.

she has not ingested milk since she was 6months old

Sorry - should have said the GP was very supportive of my EBF and fact I was continuing and of waiting till 6 months to wean. He was horrified by the HV comments and supported me in writing the letter as said he would have more power if I put it in writing.

Think that's all [baby brain emoticon]

well that's good then.

but he is way out with what he has said about allergies.

Just read this and wanted to say don't give your baby any more milk! The skin reaction you aree describing sounds like a type 1 hypersensitivity and the digestive problems your GP is mentioning is a type 4, different pathways in the immune system if you like. They are both allergic reactions but it sounds like he is definitely allergic and I wouldn't give him an oral challenge without facilities for paediatric resuscitation. Sorry, my DS just did exactly the same when I gave him some cereal last Friday (cow's milk reaction as well) so I've been going into research overdrive. The allergy board has been very helpful.

Oh! My last 2 posts were x-posted (doing from my phone) so just read what you've all said. This is all so scary, am feeling rather pathetic about it all now! Would it be worth doing the skin test you mention misdee just to have more ammunition? Just I fully expect all GPs in the surgery to say the same thing (and he is the least muppety of all the GPs so am not feeling too hopeful).

Off to do bedtime with DS so may be a while before am back on line but will check the allergy forums then. Thanks so much everyone!

Oh FFS. I'm glad your GP is supporting you in the fact that you are EBF and has encouraged you to write and complain but comments about the allergy are off the mark.
I cannot beleive what the blimmin' nurse said Imean, "your Mummy's going to have to accept she can't feed you forever". what is wrong with these people. I bet they are the type of people who think that BF past six months a year ais 'more for the mother's benefit and to try to keep tem a baby for longer'

personally i would do it again. just dab a bit of milk on his skin either back of neck or his back. if welts appear then give the allergy syrup u have. if possible take pictures when u see the gp. welts/hives are caused by an IgE reaction so are an allergy.

2.5yrs later, under hospital care, we still havent progressed past skin tests on dd4. her consultant is adament she is NOT to ingest milk.

Hi Op,
I feel so so angry and upset for you. Your HV frankly needs shooting. She is a stupid stupid woman and is giving dangerous advice. And your GP is out of his/her depth.
I am a doctor and my son is allergic to cows milk protein and egg. Come over to the allergy board here on mumsnet. It's where I got help initially. There are some fantastically helpful, well informed posters around, organiccarrotcake is right. ( typing on phone) give allergy uk a call. Do not give your son any more milk and you need to screen all his food for milk products. You need to get referred to an allergy specialist( allergy uk can give you the name of your local doctor. )
I started a thread when my son was initially diagnosed, you can find it if you search my name. It was so so helpful, the posters who replied were brilliant and supportive.
And well done for EBF. He would have reacted to formula as a newborn by the sound of it which would have been worse.
Am sending hug. I know it's mumsnet, but frankly I don't care

Hi Rum, been thinking of you and your DS. How's it going? (sorry for hijack..)