Day 2! Accountability thread

[Stupidlydupidly]

Hi all!

I have read William Porter's Alcohol explained, and am halfway through Alcohol Explained 2. I have decided that this is it, I'm going to give his method my best go and would love this to be my breaking free!

I am primarily a binge drinker but those binges have got closer together... predictably. And the toll it takes on body and mind is too much.

Will post here on my progress!

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

Well done on day 2. It really is a tough thing to overcome. Not read William Porter. I used Craig Beck amongst other things, now on day 171 you can do this.

It really is the best, the freedom, health and many other improvements. I don't really miss it now. Good luck.

[Stupidlydupidly]

Thanks! I think I have a Craig Beck book... will look into him.

William Porter's books are really interesting. He says that after 5 days the physical need for alcohol goes, then if you counter your impulses for 3 weeks you can basically retrain your impulses.

Will give it my best shot, really want to be where you are - amazing!

[Stupidlydupidly]

I am on day 3, and now feeling pretty good! Probably because I got a good night's sleep.

I often make it to day 3 or 4 or a Thursday or Friday before drinking though. So I will feel safer once I've done 5 days.

Those are my personal milestones-

5 days - beat the physical imbalance
3 weeks - curb the cravings
3 months - building new habits

Then I guess it will mainly be about keeping up my self care routine and not getting complacent... I will see when I get there...

Feeling confident today!

[Maisa45]

Good luck OP! I'm on day 22 myself and had v strong cravings yesterday when my husband bought some beers. I resisted though and it does feel really good when you overcome your cravings. Next challenge for me is a sober meal out with my Dad (he normally buys me as many gins as I want so it's a habit to drink when I'm with him!). If you think your cravings will be strong by the end of the week why not plan an activity in advance so you'll be distracted? At the very beginning I started planning my food shops for times when I knew I'd crave a drink if I was in the house.

[Stupidlydupidly]

Well done for resisting 😁 DH drinking has often made it harder for me to keep my resolve in the past. But yeah the more of these challenges we get through the less power that addiction has.

I will plan a little routine to relax at the end of the week, which doesn't involve alcohol. Will try and think of something nice to look forward to and start playing it through in my mind. I also have sparkling water and squash ready.

[Stupidlydupidly]

Day 4! Feeling frustrated and tired but those feelings are largely due to being a bit behind with work. So trying to tackle the work issue!

I feel I'm on track to get through day 5 too. Then I need to get on with some rethinking old habits.

I have learned some good self care stuff in previous attempts to quit, so now I have meditation, mindfulness and gratitude every day - as well as a new hobby.

I think the problem before was that I didn't really understand what was going on with me and my drinking. So that has been what Alcohol Explained has done for me! I now understand that I can't drink safety and need to kick it!

[Stupidlydupidly]

Got through today okay!

[AlbinoAxolotl]

Hi @Stupidlydupidly just wanted to give you some moral support - you’re doing fab!
the first couple of weeks (weekends) are the hardest, but it sounds like you’re prepared.
keep on keeping on, you’ll soon be reaping the rewards- after 6 months (I never thought I’d say that), I feel better in every way (mentally, physically, emotionally, hormonally… and I sleep like a log!). I honestly can’t imagine going back, and although I still think about alcohol a lot, the thought of actually drinking it repulses me now

[Stupidlydupidly]

Thanks @AlbinoAxolotl :) I am on day 5 now, which is the first big milestone I set myself. My husband is having alcohol withdrawal today after a really scary night last night, so I am very thankful that I didn't get tempted to join him when he opened his first beer.

He is saying he will pour the rest of the booze in the house away and never drink again. I don't know if it's true, but whatever happens I will handle it better sober.

[Stupidlydupidly]

So I reached my first milestone, 5 days done, now on day 6.

Going by the book Alcohol Explained I should now no longer have any physical dependence so all cravings now would be psychological. He says that it takes about 3 weeks to retrain the brain on those impulses. So I'll be working on those.

What I'm thinking about now is - am I giving alcohol the credit for experiences that would be nice anyway?

And his 3 step approach for preparing for situations where I'd usually drink. 1. What benefits did I think I'd get from drinking now and why are they not true? 2. What's the real pleasure to be had in this situation? And 3. How would drinking get in the way of that pleasure?

Have been eating snacks and drinking sugary drinks and AF beers for the first 5 days. Now I'm tightening up my diet and getting back to healthy eating, but with my tin of snacks and occasional soft drinks for when I want a sit down with something nice!

Next stop 3 weeks.

Having a hard time in my personal life but being sober I have strength and hope.

[Stupidlydupidly]

I am on day 7 now! Kind of wavering a bit just because I am feeling a bit shit about life, but experienced enough to remember that drinking would just make things shitter!

[Stupidlydupidly]

One week sober! In day 8 now. Have come down with a horrible cold, but proud of myself!

[GreenGlassBeads]

Well done on one week sober! That's great going, I wish I could achieve that (it's hard isn't it)!

[Stupidlydupidly]

@GreenGlassBeads thank you 😁 are you trying to get sober too?

[GreenGlassBeads]

Yes I'm trying to get sober, this is my millionth day one. I really don't think I can do this 😥I am following your thread for inspiration and cheering you on!

[Battlecat98]

Well done stupidydupidy sounds like you have had a really positive start.
Have you noticed any positive benefits? For me it took about 3 weeks, to he sleep is amazing and my anxiety is gone. I actually like myself.

I too have had a million day ones, it is still possible to quit. I had to quit, as, moderation was impossible for me.
I have just passed 180 days sober.

It seems most people fail many times before succeeding. You have to just keep pushing forward.

It is a huge challenge, and you need plans to prevent you reaching for a glass, when things get tough.
Loads of quit lit, chocolate worked for me and self care.

[Stupidlydupidly]

Thanks for joining me @GreenGlassBeads and @Battlecat98 !

I am on day 10 now.

This time around (have been thinking about going AF on and off since November when I realised hangovers were making me really anxious) I have been letting myself have alcohol free beer. Or coke. Or chocolate!

The book Alcohol Explained really has opened my eyes to the fact that drinking takes more than it gives, but I am still keeping the 'treat after I finish work for the week' ritual with other things.

So far so good. Life isn't easy at the moment but it's much easier when beer isn't involved. I can deal with my feelings and there's still hope that tomorrow will be better (and have more hours at the weekend).

Congrats @Battlecat98 ! That is a long time, I look forward to it myself with any luck.

@GreenGlassBeads I do think getting sober is possible even for people who have become really ill with it, and starting day 1 now means things don't have to get any worse for you! You can stop now and have an easy life! At least easier, for sure... that's how I'm looking at it. Yes, join me! Have you read Alcohol Explained?

[Stupidlydupidly]

@Battlecat98 so far the benefits are no hangover this weekend, but in time I think I will have weight loss due to fewer excess calories and less hangover-driven carb binges

[Stupidlydupidly]

Day 11, no desire for alcohol but drinking too many alcohol free beers. Apparently they can still give you gout...

[GreenGlassBeads]

Thanks for the encouragement 😊You've inspired me to start, this is my day 2 now. I'm feeling a bit tired and flat so I like reading about the benefits you've seen! I have Alcohol Explained but must read it again to refresh myself.

Day 11 is fantastic, way to go! I think it's okay to drink n/a beers if they help you, and you can cut down on them later. They're still way better than drinking!

[Stupidlydupidly]

Day 16 now! That's two weeks done, on my way to 3rd week.

Me and the kids are all ill at the moment so not been sticking to my self care routine as much as I'd like, but will start again on Monday morning.

One thing that keeps me going is the memory of the last few Christmas days, when I've been sober, and how much more relaxed and fun they were compared to previous depressing christmases where I would use booze as a crutch to get through difficult family times.

Now I'm sober I have to live through difficult feelings. But ever since I first thought about giving up drinking, I've also been learning more about healthy boundaries and self care.

[GotTheTshirtx1000]

Well done, keep going!

Today will be day 5, I joined AA last night. I still wanted to drink afterwards but I've decided not to. I can't. My marriage and relationship with my dd's is hanging on a thread. My eldest (22) gets the keys to her first home in a week and right now she wants nothing to do with me so if she's not talking to me by then I'll miss this huge milestone in her life and I couldn't cope with that. My youngest is almost 17 and went to family 100 miles away on Sunday because she couldn't handle my drinking anymore. If I have one more drink I will have lost them for good or a long time and everyday without them wanting me is breaking me. So I've stopped drinking. I was a binge drinker, 2/3 times a week drinking vodka until I was obliterated.

I will go to another AA meeting tonight. Dd2 is hopefully coming home tonight. I know she doesn't want to see me really though so I might stay at my sister's depending on how she is.

Any tips on what to do?

[GotTheTshirtx1000]

Oh meant to say, I called my doctor yesterday, they have referred me to alcohol support service and are sending me for a liver function test plus I've set the wheels in motion to get some counselling and I've bought the Allen Carr book.

[Stupidlydupidly]

@GotTheTshirtx1000 well done on 5 days alcohol free! That is brilliant 😁 I am now on day 21 so about to reach my 3 week milestone!

What really helped me was reading Alcohol Explained, it made me look at how alcohol REALLY affects me rather than how I WANT it to affect me. And gave really good advice on quitting.

I do think there are lots of really good things about AA that seem to be invaluable to lots of people. But for my personality type, the Alcohol Explained made me really understand my thoughts on drinking, and change them.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things and for the right reasons. So my advice it to press on!! A lot of it is about getting used to not drinking when you usually would I think, so once you create new habits that you like, that makes things easier.

Also look at the freedom thread here on this forum, loads of good sobriety there.

Many will have better advice than me as I haven't been sober long, but so far this is what helped me! That and doing nice things for myself and self care like meditation, mindfulness etc.

Stay in touch and let me know how you get on! staying sober means you not only are there for your daughters milestone, it will also make space for relationships to grow in ways drinking would have prevented. Good luck!

[GotTheTshirtx1000]

Hi, it's my 1st week sober today. I've been reading a book I got from AA called living sober, it's really good! I've bought a goals and journal notebook, been listening to podcasts. Going to my third AA meeting tomorrow too

I think I'm going to get my nails done this week as a treat.

Other treats I thought of were a bangle with a mantra engraved, massage, facial, spa day and even when I've done one year I'd like to get another dog to join our family but we will see! In the meantime is one day at a time.

How are you all getting on?