Sober evenings - what do you do??

[tactum]

I'm 2 weeks into a sober phase. Not sure yet if it's permanent, or just a post lockdown reset, certainly seeking to reset drinking behaviour at home.

After drinking more than a bottle of wine a night since god knows when, I'm actually pretty chuffed with how it's going. I look, better, I sleep better and I feel great.

But, fuck me, am I bored!!!! Evenings drag and I just seem to watch the clock until I can go to bed and tick another day off.

Evenings used to mean a glass or two cooking dinner, another couple with dinner, and then slumping on the sofa with the rest watching mindless crap on TV, in a haze of numbness.

Now I'm just bored stupid!!!! Dinner done n dusted early as there's no point dragging it out, everything cleared up etc then it seems there's nothing to do by 7.30 and the TV is crap!!

Please give me ideas or tips as to how to get through the long sober evenings! During the day I'm busy, I read, do sport, walk, see friends. I guess I need to create new things in the evening but I am knackered and used to slumping - and drinking! Any help gratefully received!!

[Bettyboop3]

Do you enjoy reading? That is so much easier sober and can easily pass the time if you find a good book. Also a nice soak in the bath.

[Bettyboop3]

Sorry should also say well done and keep going!!

[MaudebeGonne]

Nintendo Switch! I play games like Story of Seasons or Animal Crossing. Has really helped me break my evening mindless snacking habit.

[Daisy829]

Have you got Netflix or prime? Lots of good things to watch. Or a jigsaw, craft, puzzle book. Like you I’m cutting down my drinking as it for a bit silly in lockdown and when I do have a drink now my sleep pattern is terrible. I’ve got a hol coming up then after that I’m going to give it up completely for a couple of months. I’m actually looking forward to it.

[Hivis]

Following with interest!

[MrsFin]

Volunteer? Or join some clubs and get out of the house.
Or spend the evenings on Mumsnet like the rest of us

[Branleuse]

This is probably going to be the hardest bit. Youre trying to convince yourself it was really fun before when you were intoxicated, but youre doing the same things before.
Youre not going to feel all merry and hazy and numb, and like your ordinary evenings are somehow fun, which is why so many people do like a glass of wine here and there, but youve ruined it for yourself because it became a bottle or two which has serious health consequences.
Your evenings arent actually any different in reality.
I feel like this sometimes about drugs i used to take. A certain state of inebriation and intoxication becomes the default and without it, everything loses its sparkle, and yet the people who never did all that, never lost the joy of going out for its own sake.

Nothing wrong with having a nice day and then having dinner, watching a bit of telly, pissing about on the internet, playing some games etc and going to bed. Life doesnt have to always be exciting every night. You just get into a new routine and it sounds like youre benefitting from it in lots of other ways

[ItsAChallengingWank]

Take up a class of sorts or study?
Start a hobby?
I tend to get in bed early, much easier now the nights are drawing in. Maybe have a prolonged bedtime routine? Bath, skin routine, read?

[HollowTalk]

Do you have a gym nearby?

[meringue33]

I got sober in AA so the advice would be go to an AA meeting to help others get sober :)

[user1471604848]

What I do is have the same evening (eg watching TV etc), but have a nice non-alcoholic drink. Eg I'll have water with a splash of cranberry juice.
For me, it was partly the act of picking up a glass that became the the habit. So picking up a non-alcoholic drink was (nearly) as good.
Otherwise, take up a hobby one evening. Or do jobs you never get to, like sorting photos.

[Sunnygold]

Netflix. Read a book. Or quite often we work in the evenings, we take a couple of hours for dinner and DC bedtime then we sit on the sofa with laptops and work.

[GoodnightGrandma]

Get yourself some Epsom salts and bubble bath, and have a bath a couple of nights a week. The Epsom salts will give your body magnesium, so it’s doing a good thing for yourself.
I did this and went on TikTok the other night, I suddenly realised that it had gone dark and the water cold as I’d been in there so long !!!

[GoodnightGrandma]

And I have a glass of cherry juice, helps you sleep.

[purplesequins]

good for you giving up alcohol.

I don't drink because alcohol doesn't agree with me.

evening - some housework, watching tv, reading, running or other exercise, board games with the family...

what is it that makes you feel bored?

[Edmontine]

Sign up to a course!

(You haven’t said you work but it’s not clear if you’re a SAHM or retired or whatever.) You say your days are busy but perhaps there’s no challenge in your life? (Apart from giving up drink, of course!) Find something difficult and throw yourself into it - it will be so much more engaging now you’re not drinking.

[Sarahlou63]

Masses of cheap courses on //www.centreofexcellence.com or //www.udemy.com

[JoanOgden]

Reading, TV/films, hobbies, calling friends for a catch-up, online research into tedious domestic stuff, YouTube yoga, sorting the house out. Plus arrange some sober evenings out, e.g. cinema, theatre, etc, if your circumstances allow.

[Chickoletta]

I have a long bath, often with a book or audio book. Find a good box set to get into. When not drinking, I tend to have a pot of decaf coffee to watch TV with as this is a possible weak spot for me.

[mistermagpie]

Have you got kids? If not, why don't you go out? Go for a walk or a run, try a night class or exercise class? The gym?

Try and not replicate your old evenings if that's making you bored and change it up completely.

[Perriwinkles]

Cinema, reading, TV series on Netflix, YOUTUBE exercise classes, cooking, baking, an early night, podcasts, Mumsnet, learning something new, an earlier night, a creative pursuit, a much earlier night

[userxx]

Feeling exactly the same!! It's been a long weekend!

[Newuname199987]

Have a nice soft drink and read a good book. I used to go to bed earlier than when I’d stay up with a drink so I’d have a nice long bubble bath then read in bed. I was also very tired in the first few alcohol free weeks. I’ve taught myself to crochet so make lots of lovely things that I’d never have done when drinking. I realise now how much time is wasted drinking especially in the evenings.

[Perriwinkles]

Crochet is a great idea! The kind of hobby that takes time to pick up is a great idea.

[tactum]

Thanks for all your great ideas and support, it's much appreciated and at least I'm comforted by the fact that it seems a common problem!

Pre-pandemic I used to be out 2 evenings a week which didn't involve alcohol, which would help, but they haven't started up again yet.

Just to add a bit of context - I'm early 50's, work c10 hours a week from home, fortunate we are in a position to not have to do more. I have 2 older teens, one about to fly the nest so they are not reliant on me for anything really!

I have 3 hobbies I do every week with friends during the day, and also meet friends etc during the daytime. I also do volunteer. Evening meet ups in my circle tend to revolve around wine, so I am not initiating those atm, but must look at cinema listings.

I'm not a gamer, find I'm quite tired to read in the evenings, and do generally like to slump. One thing that has jumped out at me is crochet - my sis in law learnt during lockdown and loves it. It would provide some mental stimulus and also something to do with my hands whilst otherwise slumping! Will definitely look into this.

I am generally at a bit of a crossroads in life - job as a mum, whilst never over, is drawing to an end of its active stage - no career, just pt trundling - questions about what will my life look like for the next 20-30 years. Also, the pandemic has rocked my confidence a fair bit, and I'm trying to make sense of things. I'm actually pretty chuffed I've now managed nearly 3 weeks without a drink when the last night I had without wine before this was in March! Small steps and thank you all for your help - good to know I'm not alone.