Now is the time!

[Alcoh]

I am so fed up now of alcohol. Have read some books about it and loads of threads here - but never really have seemed to acknowledge I have a problem. But I do. Late 40s. Am remarried but my H doesn’t live with me as he is near his kids from his first marriage until they go to uni (which we are both happy with) so whilst I have always been a big party drinker, the last year has got worse and worse in lockdown. Just so damn bored working from home the whole time and so turned to wine. Drink a bottle of wine every evening and now buy two so I can start the second. Weekends - if I don’t have my kids, I start earlier in the day because am just so bored and what the hell. So some weekends can do 4-5 bottles. Must be drinking 80-90 units a week. Maybe more. Have put on 5kg I need to lose and I am sure that is the booze because my diet otherwise is healthy. I have had blood tests and there has never been an inkling of an issue but I must have a fatty liver. Am fed up of being tired and anxious. And now it is starting to affect work. I sit on zoom calls all bloody day and see no adults in real life - it’s so tedious. So I have started the wine earlier to get through them. My kids have noticed. My family haven’t said much as they live a few hours away - and they know I am a heavy drinker but they would be so worried if they knew how much. Anyway had a particularly bad night last week where I emailed somebody important at work back and forth in a bit of an obnoxious way and I cannot even remember what I said. I just deleted everything the next day so I didn’t have to face what I had done. I have a new role in my company - which I love. Why the hell am I risking that? Why am I bringing up my amazing kids watching me do this? They notice - they are just teen and nearly teenage. So am now off the booze. For my health and for my looks - I am exercising twice a week so surely with removing all this booze I can lose the additional 5kg. Would love some others to be here with me. I have Annie Grace next to me.

Oh one thing I forgot to say. My DH is amazing and he loves weekend wine (he manages to drink only at the weekend). But because we are not together a lot of the time yet he has no idea how much I am drinking. I have also taking to hiding empty bottles when he is here as I have been known to get up in the night and drink without him knowing. And when I am with him and we are working in the day I can secretly hit his wine. It’s bad and I have had enough of these secrets.

[TheBabyAteMyBrain]

I'll join you, today is my day one.

I'm pretty much in the same position as you re drinking and enough is enough. There's always an excuse to reach for that bottle and I'm just realising how many excuses I make to myself each day. I finished a bottle last night, there is none in the house, and for a while at least I won't be bringing any in.

[Alcoh]

@TheBabyAteMyBrain great. Let’s do it! Am fed up of jelly belly and fuzzy head! It is no longer fun. I am day 1 too but didn’t drink much over the weekend (I saw family for the first time post lockdown and so reigned back) and it feels amazing already! What will you do instead of drinking. I have a pile of books to read - going to finish Annie Grace and then get started on the pile !

[wintertime6]

Can I join you too? I went off alcohol for Lent and felt great, but I started drinking again a couple of weeks ago and it's got out of control again. I drank 2 bottles of wine last night and feel horrendous today. That's really bad isn't it? 2 whole bottles, I feel sick just thinking about it.

So it's back to Day 1 for me again, could definitely do with some motivation and encouragement.

[Alcoh]

@wintertime6 yes come in! Firstly well done about Lent. That is a massive achievement in itself. It I even get to 2 days without wine I feel like I deserve a reward with....yes....wine! I could definitely do 2 bottles. In fact that is what I did last week and felt awful the next day. We can wind this back. Do you tend to drink alone?

[wintertime6]

@Alcoh I do tend to drink alone, sort of. I'm married, so my husband is around, and he would usually have a beer or two at the weekend, but not to excess. I'm not sure if he realises just how much I'm drinking as I might be doing stuff in the kitchen when he's in another room and so I can top my glass up without being noticed, or I drink more when he goes to bed.

I found Lent surprisingly easy. It was like I had already made the decision I wasn't drinking so I didn't have that nightly conversation in my head wondering whether to drink or not. I'm just annoyed that I've slipped into my old habits so easily.

[wintertime6]

Just checking in on Day 2. How are you doing @Alcoh and @TheBabyAteMyBrain? I had some weird dreams last night, that I was in prison but didn't know what for, and the other inmates were stealing my stuff.

I must admit I'm feeling really overwhelmed by life in general at the moment. The house is a mess, I can't get on top of anything, and I'm really behind with work for a course I'm doing. I have zero motivation to get on and do something about any of it. I think I'm just going to be kind to myself over the next few days and then try to tackle some of it.

[Alcoh]

Hey yes day 2!!! Feels so long already. But yes doing well and determined. Am doing the Annie Grace 30 day programme so watch that just before I sleep. Yes I also have had vivid dreams and a bit of sweating too. I think that’s par for the course. Yep I would focus on you for now and then the energy will come back for that stuff. I don’t know about you but I go through bouts of being arsed and then not! Wait until you have the motivation. How you getting on @TheBabyAteMyBrain?

[deadrave]

Hey! Can I join a well? It’s day 1 for me tomorrow. Currently drinking a bottle of wine an evening. Well done on day 2. I am also signed up to the Annie grace programme

[FrankieDettol]

Wanted to give you all some encouragement. Day 193 sober here and honestly, once you've made the decision to not drink it does get easier. Keep it up 😊

[TheBabyAteMyBrain]

So sorry ladies, I wrote a message here yesterday but it didn't seem to post! Frustrating!

Well hello day 3! I think I'm doing okay ATM, getting to sleep without the wine is proving tricky but I've read it only takes a couple of weeks to readjust again. I'm trying to change up my night time routine to go to bed earlier and listen to spoken books rather than wasting the time on screens.

I'm a bit irritable and fuzzy headed but it's also the time of the month so great timing there 😅 a couple more days as everything should hopefully be out the system and mood/energy should hopefully pick up again!

We've got this @wintertime6 and @Alcoh ! I think the first 7 days will be the hardest to change routine and flush the system, then it's just about not giving into the cravings and excuses!

@wintertime6 definitely be kind to yourself and step back from things for now. Once you're ready just do one small thing at a time and you'll be surprised how the motivation just naturally happens.

Welcome @deadrave and congratulations on your day one!

What are people sipping on an evening? I drink water and tea all day, I get the kids to bed and the thought of another tea just feels so boring! I need a treat or some change once I hit my me time on a night! Any suggestions?

[TheBabyAteMyBrain]

Thanks for popping in @FrankieDettol 193 days is fantastic! Hopefully we'll be doing the popping and cheerleading for others in the coming year

[Alcoh]

Evening all. The witching hour is upon us but I am not going to crack! So good to hear all your updates. So @TheBabyAteMyBrain I have all kinds of alt drinks in the house to try and excite me!!! I have seedlip and the Gordon’s zero gin. Then various cordials and tonic water and some zero beer and lager! I have also tried various zero wine - the noughty sparkling wine is pretty good - not too sweet - but is expensive. I don’t know whether it is better to give up alcohol and not drink zero alcohol alternatives (eg beer or wine) or not. But if it works I am doing it for now! I am feeling determined at the moment and usually I would not have the willpower but I was so scared last week at writing things I could not remember to someone at work that I think I hit a bit of a tipping point.

Welcome @deadrave! Thank you for the encouragement @FrankieDettol. I don’t know yet what my more medium term will be on this journey. Whether I will stop for good or not. I doubt it - but for now I need a definite and hard circuit breaker and reset everything. 193 days are amazing. What benefits have you noticed if you don’t mind me asking?

[FrankieDettol]

I have way more patience with the kids. I sleep like I've never slept in my life. I just feel generally calm, there's no internal struggle every evening about whether to have a drink or not. And I really don't miss it. Which I cannot believe I'm saying. I'm under huge pressure at the moment but there is no desire to drink as I know it won't help.

Read some quit lit, find blogs about sobriety, insta have lots of sober content. Keep going!

[MyLifeNow20]

Hi is this still going? I need to give up too. How is everyone doing?

[wintertime6]

@MyLifeNow20 I'm here but not doing great. I drank at the weekend and feel horrible again today. I have no idea why I do this to myself but it has to stop. Need to get back on track with some quit lit.

[TheBabyAteMyBrain]

@wintertime6 use it as a reason to move forward and keep going. I had a bad day on Saturday and fell back into old habits, so today is day 2 again for me. I don't think I want to completely give up the alcohol for life, but I do think I need a good break to reassess my relationship with it. Plus, my poor liver needs a holiday.

I'm currently telling myself it's just for 1 week, it seems less daunting to make it to day 7, then hopefully I can tell myself it's just for 1 week again, and again and again, until I don't need to anymore.

Welcome @MyLifeNow20, how are you doing? Have you started your day one or getting in the mindset to start?

How is everyone else getting on? @deadrave @Alcoh

[deadrave]

Hey @TheBabyAteMyBrain thanks for checking in. I was doing ok but then had a drink and so I’m back to day 1. I’m much more determined this time though. I’m done with hangovers.

I like you idea of telling yourself it’s just for one week and then extending that. I will try doing that for sure.

@wintertime6 sorry to hear your weekend was similar to mine. Do you have any quite lit recommendations? Let’s just think new week fresh start.

@FrankieDettol glad things are going good. I love the idea of just feeling calm.

@MyLifeNow20 still here. Not doing great but nice to have some people to chat to and gain support through this. Have you got through day one yet?

[wintertime6]

@deadrave I've listened to the Allen Carr book and The Sober Diaries on audible and found them both helpful. I've just got Alcohol Lied To Me so I'm going to start listening to that. I look at my friends and wonder why I can't have a normal relationship with alcohol like them (well I'm assuming they do, I guess you never really know what's going on behind closed doors) and it makes me feel worse as I feel like I'm not normal. That's why I find quit lit helpful, it reminds me that there's people out there just like me!

[deadrave]

@wintertime6 thanks for the suggestions. I have heard of the Allen Carr book so will have to have a read of it. I agree that sometimes it’s nice just to know there are others like you our there. Similar to you everyone I know seems to have a healthy relationship with alcoholic. I wish I could have that but I have come to the realisation that right now I can’t. I think it’s a good point though that you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. No one I know would have any idea I drank so much so I think many people just keep it hidden.

[therestissilence]

Good luck OP!

I'm in a really awful routine, myself. I feel like a need a drink every evening in order to go 'gung ho' on all the housework and jobs. And to be fair, I do it all, and the house looks great. The idea of not having a drink in the evening has become terrible though - I just foresee boredom and depression! When I make a concerted effort not to drink, it's great. The evening is a slog but then I spend blissful hours reading in bed, and I wake up great. But then it's so easy to have 'just one' the next day, and then it all starts again. Arghh,

[MyLifeNow20]

Hi everyone! Well I joined the gym and went for the first time tonight, really enjoyed it! But am now having a glass of wine as a reward. I think the more I go to the gym in the evenings the more I will think im not drinking that!
Its hard but I am really wanting to do it. Good luck to everyone. There is a good group on FB, the sober club x

[TheBabyAteMyBrain]

Yoohoo, check in time ladies.

How are you all doing? The good, the bad, the ugly. All here to support and boost however we can! How is the bank holiday treating you?

I'm still searching for that night time 'adult' drink that isn't a wine. Can't seem to find something to hit the spot yet. I'm trying different herbal teas ATM to try a bit of variety. Not gonna hold up well for a hot summers eve though. But, cross that bridge when we come to it and all that.

Gonna say I won't be feeling the weight loss from lack of booze as I am now snacking like a demon to fill the mindless void!

@Alcoh @MyLifeNow20 @deadrave @wintertime6 @therestissilence

[wintertime6]

@TheBabyAteMyBrain I'm still here but not doing great to be honest. I've actually been doing some research into the symptoms I have (and which I try to hide or self medicate with alcohol) and think I have a lot of traits of adult ADHD. When I read some articles about it, it's like somebody describing me. I'm going to try to cut out the alcohol (again!) and get back into exercise for the next few weeks and see if that can help get me back on track.

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

Hi is anyone still here? I would love some support and can offer some back to.

[wintertime6]

@Rupertpenrysmistress I'm still here! Trying hard to get myself back on track but just feeling a bit overwhelmed by life in general at the minute. Am enjoying listening to Alcohol lied to me on audible, that's keeping me motivated for now.

How are you getting on?