Need a little support..

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

I am currently on day one of trying not to drink, I have been over the top this school holidays, jumped on the Gin bandwagon, hot all sorts of different types, always had a different one to try.
Drank too much a few times, most recently this wknd, and have been hurtful and dam right obnoxious to a very much loved friend. We haven't talked it through yet and we are sending polite what's apps, she has agreed that it was the demon drink and I have apologised profusely.
I just hate that 'beer fear' and hate myself for not knowing my limits.
I've put all the gin away, I've bought various 'soft' drink options and I'm hoping to find support here.
Thanks for reading..

[Polkapjs]

Day 6 done. I’m finding getting tired and sleepy harder but actually once past the trigger times it’s easy

[Lepetitpiggy]

I was you 5 years ago - had been a problematic drinker for most of my life and just couldn't stop.
Came to a head one night when I blacked out again and caused a massive upset, again.
I knew I had to stop and it was really hard but somehow it's 5 years and life is bloody great
Still hard, still challenging, still sometimes awful and I still sometimes really really want 'just one'. But I'm not throwing it away! And that waking up feeling good never ever goes away !!! you can do this 😊

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

@Lepetitpiggy, I even have friends who say 'go on you can just have one' but I'm not giving up either, now awake to run my first 10k race today and I am so nervous, but also know I wouldn't have done this a few months ago ❤️

[whycantyouusethephone]

Good luck always 

[Lepetitpiggy]

So impressed with the 10k! It took me a year sober before I could do my first one! The trouble with the 'just have one' people is that they are probably normal drinkers (or problem drinkers in denial) and they really don't get it. Very frustrating. It does stop though

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

I got my best time too! Here comes another wknd and 2 month badge 2mora ❤️
We would usually host fireworks here and have a mini party, but have decided to save some money this year, but also it's hard with 2 dogs to go out or have them at home 🏠
I shall be sober tho whatever & wherever we end up, good luck to anyone else this wknd x

[bubbles108]

Well done 👍

[LittleBlackHat]

Well done @alwaystryingneverwinning you're doing amazing. I stopped drinking 2 years 2 moths ago and I say stopped because I didn't give up anything. I have gained so much. I love how I can hear your gratitude in your messages. Keep it up. One day at a time.

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

Day 79 👍
I've entered a half marathon and been trying to train regularly, still no 🍷
Just got to get the festive period over with and I reckon I'm set for an AF life.
I've planned to drive on Xmas day so no Buck's Fizz or Baileys for me.
Feeing fabulous

[Cakecrumbsinmybra]

Wow, this thread is really inspirational!

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

@Cakecrumbsinmybra it's really helped me stay focused as well ❤️
I've just arranged to not have the NYE party here and moved it to my in-laws so A. I don't have to clean up & B. If it does start to few tough I can just wander on home 🏠
Also ran 10 miles yesterday 🙌🏻🙌🏻

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

Feel*

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

96 days... ❤️❤️❤️

[mummski]

@alwaystryingneverwinning well done 🎉

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

116 days... festive period ✅
Just got to get thru NYE, but it's easier as each social event passes... really missed a baileys tho!

[5yearscleanandcounting]

Hi all first time here just logged on for a chat or more of a release
I'm a recovering addict myself of cocaine and I am 5 years clean still every day is a struggle however I have my demons in a cage and I am pushing forward it's not what I want to talk about what I am struggling with is the loss of love.
I had been in a relationship with the most beautiful woman in the world for 2.5 years and had to recently end it due to she is an alcoholic
Not only has the bottle took its toll on our relationship she has problems with jealousy attention seeking insecurities and needs closure from a cpl of things in her past as a child and I'm sure all these boil down to her drinking to block out reality.

I for one know how hard recovery is I still take one day at a time and wake up and count my blessings for what I have.
However she can't grasp it and get it under control and she knows she needs to stop and the things that I have seen her do to herself and the shit she has put me through was starting to take its toll on my health however I stayed strong and never bite on going back to my poisonous demon
I have seen her stay sober for 8 months so I know she can do it however it's when she has constant attention she manages because people work round about her to "treat her like a princess" if she's on her own for a certain amount of time the urge goes for her and then sends her on a downward spiral
Within these years we have been on and off all due to her problems not just alcohol but with all her other addictions in life
in the start I caught her sending naked pictures to a coworker that talked her into it when she was drunk "she said she done it because she was lonely and wanted the attention " but I was constantly with her if not working so it was oobviously bullshit so I split with her and we had been apart for a cpl of months
After that we managed to get over it and move on still knowing she had a drink problem and other issues she knew she wanted to take control of her life so we dug deep I took time off work to go to counseling with her I walked her to AA meetings all on her choice thinking this is it she will start living and for months she was getting better "well she was sober but not better" (only with 20% of her problems i.e drink the other 80% still haunts her and eats away at her and she can't seem to stop that.
She started back work in a different department thinking fresh start and only after 3/4 weeks in she was back on the old vino because someone said something to her she didn't like and instead of standing up for herself she goes to the off licence and blocks it out
So it was back to square one and from that day it had been a struggle for to cope I had caught her drink driving gave her the wtf do you think you were doing she could have killed herself or someone else she told me she was sorry told her it's only words put the actions behind it then I will believe her but obviously again it was all bullshit then 1 week later she set my kitchen on fire as she tried to make dinner and got rattled and fell asleep however I was lucky enough that I managed to get away early from my work that night or I may not have had a house to come home to so again that was me saying enough is enough and asked her to leave and within the space of 24 hours she was back on a dating site to seek more attention to make her feel good that's what she does but it's what they ask her and she is gullible to do that scares me as she is very easily taken advantage of because she thinks that sending pics or videos or phoning these guys that's how to get a relationship however "that's how she'll get a reputation" we stayed in contact and again started "a relationship" if you want to put it like that.
However I had tried everything within my power to help and realized that I wasn't in a relationship I had became co dependent and tried everything within my power to control the situation in hand but it wasn't enough no matter what I did the drink had more of a hold on her than any heart could bleed and it was starting to take its toll on my health I hated coming home thinking what will she be like even asked myself what would I do if she has died while I am out because she has choked on her vomit so I ended it 8 weeks ago and still can't get her out my head I refuse to answer her texts because I can't bare the thought of being sucked back in but a can't bring myself to get rid of her number because I still hope for a miracle no-one is born an addict it's the choice we make and it's a choice we do to get clean and stay off it but for some it's too much and they only think of there next bottle or line or whatever there fix is
She may not have much of a life left if not grasped now and if I could say to anyone being someone who's been on both ends for those that have the courage and the discipline to get clean and sober life is so much better sober when you can smell the roses and see the rainbows and stars
And to all those who are on the recieving end on looking after the loved one never give up if the one your with also has fight however if you start to go under due to someone else then it's ok to leave we can't be co dependent we can't control them and we can't watch them die in our eyes.

I will always love my butterfly but I can't stop her from destroying herself
So to all on both sides be strong but most importantly be true to yourself as life is short ❤️🦋

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

Thank you sharing @5yearscleanandcounting ❤️ Happy New Year, hope 2019 brings u joy xxx

[5yearscleanandcounting]

Thank you

[5yearscleanandcounting]

Hope 2019 brings you health wealth and happiness to all xx

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

140 days! Wowzer ❤️

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

160 days...

[lisajs7]

Well never admitted I seem to have a problem
but deep down I know I have a drinking problem, 42 yrs old 3 wonderful children and 2 beautiful grandchildren, so need to sort myself out, not only for them but for me, u see I come from a very broken childhood, mum and stepdad a alcoholic,but never started drinking until I was 29, I mean I don't get drunk every night I just seem to have trouble sleeping so end up drinking a bottle of wine most nights to help me sleep, the thing is I feel so much better when I don't drink but then I crack after about 3/4 days, just can't seem to get out of this rut, and my doctors is shit so no help there, just so want to not rely on alcohol 😢😢

[alwaystryingneverwinning]

I can't even imagine drinking again now, but it was the hardest cycle I've ever had to break. Here if you need to vent or need some encouragement ❤️

[cardibach]

This thread is lovely. I was signed off work with stress last week and I’ve been drinking too much pretty steadily for a while in the run up to that. I’ve been very unhappy and felt trapped and it helped me forget about that and get some sleep. I’ve rarely been drunk or had bad hangovers, but it’s been really unhealthy - physically and mentally. During the night last night I decided to knock it on the head for a bit. I need clarity and to get my head straight as I’ll have some difficult decisions to make soon. I really missed a drink while cooking and eating earlier, but I’m ok now.

[AlwaysSunshine81]

Hi everyone is this thread still going as I would like to join.
Single parent to 3 children and find myself lonely and bored in the evenings and got into the cycle of drinking wine most nights. I want to stop 😩