Spare room?

[Concannon88]

Hi everyone.

We've moved from a 2 bed to a 3 bed, to facilitate the spare room criteria.. However my daughter is currently using the spare room as a computer room, with a few nic nacs here and there. Would we need to remove these things and set it up as a bedroom before a social worker would be happy? Or would we be ok leaving it as is until panel etc

Thanks

[Patchyman1]

No need to remove stuff now, they just need to see you have space. On our initial visit one spare room was full of laundry and other had computer etc in. They are both now occupied by our adopted kids!

[Concannon88]

@Patchyman1

No need to remove stuff now, they just need to see you have space. On our initial visit one spare room was full of laundry and other had computer etc in. They are both now occupied by our adopted kids!

Yay thank you. I'm really excited to turn it into a little person room, however I'm not so keen on staring at it with a broken heart if I get turned down, so hedging my bets.

[Noimaginationforaun]

Oh it’s fine to keep it as it is! Ours was basically a storage room and an office! Our social worker preferred that. She said sometimes they go and visit prospective adopters and the rooms are already kitted out for a child and they then have to do work on unpicking expectations etc.

[Concannon88]

@Noimaginationforaun

Oh it’s fine to keep it as it is! Ours was basically a storage room and an office! Our social worker preferred that. She said sometimes they go and visit prospective adopters and the rooms are already kitted out for a child and they then have to do work on unpicking expectations etc.

Aha! That's good to know! When did you transform it?

[Noimaginationforaun]

@Concannon88

Aha! That's good to know! When did you transform it?

We did it in two phases because we need to do a whole re plaster/new ceiling and rewire so we did that during stage 1 and 2. We started decorating once we were approved and then once we were matched we added bits in for our son (EG, he was 23 months so we brought a cot bed in anticipation he wouldn’t be in a cot for long)

[sunshineandskyscrapers]

If you haven't been to approval panel, I wouldn't do any more than share your vision for the room and make sure it's in a good state of repair - maybe a lick of neutral coloured paint if it needs it.

[CandleMouse]

We are in stage 2 and our spare room is full of all sorts! We are slowly clearing it out but are in no rush until we have been approved. Social workers have seen it and have no issues.

[Concannon88]

@CandleMouse ah right do they nosey around the whole house? We've lived here 2 years now, its not too shabby but a work in progress. Thank you.

[CandleMouse]

@Concannon88

@CandleMouse ah right do they nosey around the whole house? We've lived here 2 years now, its not too shabby but a work in progress. Thank you.

During stage 1 we had a health and safety visitor (I wasn't home for this but my husband filled me in) and they went around our home and then sent us a report that stated what we needed to change. This was mostly basic things like getting child locks on certain cupboards, making sure blind cords weren't hanging too low etc. Most of this won't need to be put into action until matching though.

Our stage 2 social worker did have a quick look around too.

We have been told that any DIY (we want to put up some curtains in our room and wallpaper a bit of wall) should be done before a child arrives as any changes after they move in might be difficult for them.

We live in a two bedroom flat, we have no garden or balcony, it's clean and comfy but certainly not the Ritz. It's full of love though, and it sounds like your home is too. That's what matters.

[Concannon88]

@CandleMouse Thank you. I always seem to have decorating to do 🙄 and I think I've been blinded by some adoptive families I follow on Instagram and their "perfect" homes.

[Ted27]

The reason why they advise doing any DIY stuff before the kids come home is because after they do, you have neither the time, money or inclination to do it !

My house is a very wobbly Victorian terrace which has got wobblier over the last 12 years.
It doesn't need to be perfect, just in a reasonable state of repair, no hazards, child friendly ish.
I remember on another forum years ago some asking whether their collection of pythons might be an issue........

[Torvy]

Our assessing social worker only had a quick token look upstairs to satisfy herself that it existed and that it was "all normal" whatever that means lol.

However, the kids social worker had to see both of their bedrooms every single time he visited (a health and safety thing to check we hadn't moved them out or got lodgers in etc apparently, and a tactic used to be able to speak to older childen on their own so they could disclose anything needed is what he told us) and so they would take the opportunity to show him round and shownoff their "treasures" ranging from a special fire truck to a hairgrip they found on the street outside and snuck in to sleep with the night before. To give him credit, he usually declined to go into our bedroom when they desperately wanted to show him it, but nothing else was off limits because they had zero inhibitions about anything.

Anyway, so even of one assessing social worker doesn't go upstairs, chances are that others will at some point. I wouldn't worry too much about the decor itself, it's about whether it is safe for the child, which can look different for each one. A newborn doesn't need stairgates or toddler locks but does need appropriate lighting in the bedroom and sleeping bags and stuff. A 6 year old needs a non bunk bed but can probably do without the toddler locks on every single cupboard. You just need to be able to reassure them that you know what needs to be done and that you will do it. Then when it comes to matching panel, do it and tell them what adaptations you made. For example we noted that in our LO's profile it said he loved to climb, so instead of a key bowl on the side, we have them on a hook at the top of the door frame. Panel appreciated the specific stuff like that, and we still use it now!

I wouldn't decorate right now, but do make it so that it could be turned around quickly in case the process moves quickly.

I completely agree with @Ted27 that DIY needs to be done pre child moving in, and that is as someone who was an avid DIYer who has barely picked up a paintbrush for a year and a half. Firstly, I was absolutely knackered, secondly the kids wanted to "help" and couldn't handle rejection when I said no and finally they still completely freak out whenever something changes. We had to move the eldest's bedroom around because he needed a bigger bed, and he still asks when he will get his baby bed back. And where the old dining room table went (that he ruined by using it as a stage and making the legs go all wobbly). And why we took down the mirror frame from where he smashed the mirror playing with a ball. And what happened to the chairs he used to climb on to get to the top of the confiscated items shelving unit. He is hyper sensitive to changes in his environment, which is kinda tricky when he is a rambunctious child who loves to test everything to destruction. It's another reason I would have most major DIY done too- having stuff half done means it is more easily broken or damaged before it gets completed, and that's without having the stress of trying to do anything with them actually present!

My parents renovated our hoses constantly growing up, so we somehow sort of grew up knowing that we never touched gloss paint, or that power tools were dangerous or not to lose your balance on rafters etc. However, our kids obviously came with literally no concept of that, and there is so much else to learn so quickly with them that we just couldn't have kept them safe and us sane in anything other than a pretty much completed house. Also having a nagging to do list would have driven me mad, especially because pre adoption I thought i would have all the time in the world to do stuff on adoption leave and I was so very very wrong!

Anyway, a bit of a long and rambling post to essentially say social workers probably don't care about the decor of your house overall, but for your own sanity I would get as much done as possible, and leave the bedroom until you're more sure how it will all pan out.

[Italiangreyhound]

How old is your daughter? How does she feel about the adoption and losing the use of the room?

I'd go against the grain and say then it into a bedroom now but let her use it still on the understanding it is for her new sibling, when they come. Just neutral colours, a wardrobe and a bed... Just my idea and basically what we did.

[Concannon88]

@Noimaginationforaun shes nearly 16. She never really goes in there. We went in there last weekend to have a clear out of stuff to take to the charity shop and there were things she didn't even know were in there. I've said if she wants to swap rooms with me I'm up for it (because my rooms massive) I never want her to feel put out because of my choices.