Should I keep trying?

[WittyUsername123]

I have always wanted LO(3almost4) to do clubs and extra groups, partly to expend some of his energy, and partly to help with socialisation etc. He has poor impulse control, but is totally able to follow instructions if he wants to.
I have been taking him to taekwondo and it was going okay- he wasn’t doing everything the other kids do, but he was accessing some of it. Today, he has just spent the session running around yelling, ruining it for everyone else.
I am pretty resilient to others’ opinions, but it gets hard being thought of as ‘that’ parent and wondering if I’m ruining it for the others.
Should I persist? I am starting to think that I am fooling myself about his capabilities and capacity, and tormenting myself for added measure!

[Ted27]

How many clubs and groups is he attending?

I totally get the need to expend energy - we did a lot of walking, swimming and running, scootering.
Your boy is very little, could he just have been tired today and not in a place for following instructions? It could be overload.
Or maybe he just doesnt like the activity.
So there could be a lot of reasons why he didnt engage with the class - you would have to unpick that.
My son was always much better with things that didnt need a lot of actual instruction - hence swimming, running and scootering.
Personally I wouldnt have taken him to something where I felt he was in the way, there are so many other things to do.
Maybe give it another week and then re-evaluate?

good luck

[onlytherain]

Like Ted, I would give it another week and then evaluate. I sent my children to a lot of different activities from age 5 and they enjoyed them. However, looking back, I wonder how much they actually learned, what they gained from it and how much stress it added.

Everyone does it and we want to give our children all the opportunities in the world, but I think until age 8, most kids actually learn very little in clubs in terms of skills (of course there are children who are violin grade 5 aged 5, but they are usually not severely traumatised children). Everything else they learn there (fitting into a group, focus, impulse control etc), they can also learn while playing with other children in a park. Any potential benefit of this club is worthless, if it stresses you and him out and if it impacts your relationship.

At this age,I would focus on making sure he has fun, spends lots of time playing with other children, has many positive experiences, does lots of exercise such as running, climing trees, swimming etc. and feels good about himself, you and the world.

[Didkdt]

is it all too much, or was today a bad day?
My son couldn’t cope with the sensory override of being in a hall with lots of other children at that age, he was incredibly hyper vigilant. With hindsight it was a nightmare for him
likewise he loved swimming but we needed to find the right pool
We tried taekwondo and he was terrified of the teacher
he loved mini music though
it may br the activity, or the room,

he’s the right age for micros rugby at your local club , if that’s something to consider, it’s outside, teamwork, energy discharge, socialising for parent and child
That worked well for both of mine

[WittyUsername123]

Thank you all for your messages! I think we have been a little traumatised by our local parks (I use the term trauma in a tongue-in-cheek way here) as my son is big for his age (looks older) and does things like spit and push which make other parents go from normal humans to witch-hunting banshees lighting the torches 😂 He has been screamed at, chased and PUSHED by adults who don’t like the cut of his jib and I guess I was hoping for a more controlled environment where other adults had to control themselves!
It may be the wrong club, the wrong day or everything at once 😅

[Adoptionfrombirth]

Adoptionfrombirth · 

[WittyUsername123]

With respect, please start your own thread for this.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

I did martial arts for many years and to be honest 3/4 is just too young for children to cope with the structure of the class. I’d try him again in a couple of years and focus on stay and play type things for now. Unless it’s specifically a pre-school class I’d worry about him following instructions and possibly getting caught during sparring etc.

[WittyUsername123]

Hi- it is a preschool class for 3-5 year olds 😊 but thank you for the advice

[Misstabithabean]

A preschool gymnastics class was the only structured class my little boy could cope with at this age. The activities at the session changed enough each week to keep it interesting and the coaches were flexible and not too strict. It also helped that parents were encouraged to take part as he didn't like anything where parents had to sit at the side.

Sorry you have had challenging park experiences. Have you got any woodland nearby that you could do nice long walks or balance bike rides to get rid of some energy? I find energetic activities in the morning work well followed by a slower paced afternoon.