My feed

to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.


Babies at the school gate

6 replies

ScoobySnacks2017 · 22/07/2019 11:16

Anyone else experienced the loneliness when other mums bring their tiny new babies to school pickups/drop offs? It's not even like I tried to get pregnant (although I can imagine it's even worse if you have), it's just the isolation of having no experience/knowledge of what everyone is chatting happily about 😑

OP posts:
Ted27 · 22/07/2019 12:30

To be honest no, but I do look at my strapping 15 year old who came to me at 8 and wish I'd had more baby years.
Adoption brings out many complex emotions, often when and where you least expect them.
I'd probably join in with the general clucking and be thankful l don't have to deal with nappies, or just avoid them

Thepinklady77 · 22/07/2019 14:55

Our two came at two and three but we had previously fostered two babies from newborn for around a year so I have done the baby stage and can join in the conversation with advice/sympathy etc re teething/sleeping etc. However I am not a brilliant lier and find it hard saying oh she was an awful teether, or he never slept a night through when it is not actually them I am referring about. I get so uncomfortable as if I am deceiving them but what I am saying it based on experience just not with them.

Whilst we are very proud of our children’s adoption and don’t shy away from it we also did not make it common knowledge at the school gate obviously. One day we were talking about birthday’s and one mum said ‘oh your sons birthday is the same day as mine!’ I changed the subject very quickly as I was waiting for “what hospital was he born in? Where we in the same ward?”

BarcelonaFreddie · 22/07/2019 22:34

I try not to dwell on what I've never had and focus on what I do have. I can appreciate it is difficult- but honestly, that way, madness lies.
Try to live 'in the moment' - an important principle of mindfulness. I try not to look too far forward, or backward, and this way I can find some peace and contentment.
Wishing you well, OP.

ifchocolatewerecelery · 22/07/2019 23:14

It can be awkward. I got asked for advice on baby formula In Tesco by a very stressed looking father the other day while shopping with my toddler. It started your a mum you'll know. I was so busy trying not to say that my child was already a year old when I became their parent that it wasn't until the drive home I suspected that either he was an emergency babysitter or also an adoptive/foster parent.

Barbadosgirl · 23/07/2019 23:56

Gawd Ted, he's 15 already???!!!

It will pass, op. They don't stay babies forever and people forget the baby stage and are then onto the next thing!

Ted27 · 24/07/2019 00:57

15 today, @barbadosgirl , with a job (paper round) and a young lady friend
Scary !!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.